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Help! Upset DD. Upset DH

(6 Posts)
tablefor3 Thu 26-Feb-09 16:42:37

My DD is 14 weeks old. DH has been great: took loads of paternity leave, changing nappies, dressing her, playing, occasional bottle-feed etc. And DD has always been happy to be comforted by him. But, this last fortnight DD will still happily play with him etc, and is very happy with him, but will NOT be settled by him if she is upset and sometimes just suddenly starts crying at him and will not be comforted. But, as soon as I take her, whether after just a few minutes or after about 20, she calms down within a minute.

For example, yesterday, he was putting her into her pyjamas and grobag (I had deliberately made myself scarce) and she suddenly just started crying. I left them to it for a while. Then after about 15 minutes came and stood next to DH while he was holding DD and trying to comfort her. Then ultimately took her, when she immediately stopped crying (and DH began banging his head against the wall).

So, I have an upset DD and a really upset and dispirited DH who feels that his DD is rejecting him. sad

Although DD is only 14 weeks, I have often left her with DH, the GPs etc while I go out and even in the house I will leave her (safely) in another room, so she should be used to other people and not to having me around all the time. Surely she is too young for separation anxiety? Also, there has been no incident with DH, like bumping her head or anything which might cause DD to mistrust him.

So, does anyone have any suggestions as to how to persuade DD to go back to being settled by DH (as she was happy to be for the first 12 weeks of her life)? Or failing that, an explanation?

rubyslippers Thu 26-Feb-09 16:44:58

it is utterly and totally natural

i bet if you do the same thing tonight your DH will be able to settle her

it is not a slur on your DH and your DD is not upset either - she is a baby and she can only communicate by crying

she is a baby - try to relax about things it is early days for all of you smile

tablefor3 Thu 26-Feb-09 17:07:40

that's what i've been telling him. i'm not upset as much as mildly irritated that it has to be me to go to her every time (iyswim). Problem is that it has now been going on for a fortnight. I tell DH that she will grow out of it, but doesn't fulfil his male need to "fix" everything.

MotherFlippin Thu 26-Feb-09 17:12:42

Message withdrawn

Nabster Thu 26-Feb-09 17:16:59

If he can't settle her within a minute or two, go to her. She is too small to be crying for 15 minutes and right now she clearly needs her Mum more.

tablefor3 Thu 26-Feb-09 17:32:40

i know MotherF - i saw that thread and smiled to myself! i have also told him that most girls are Daddy's Little Girl (TM) and that does include DD most of the time.

Nabster - i know. I was just experimenting, but will return to normal response times.

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