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What do you regret?

(29 Posts)
vess Tue 12-Apr-05 19:31:19

Do you regret any of your parenting desicions? What would you have done differently, if you could?
I've got a nearly 5 years old ds and a new baby, and have been thinking about the things I'll try to do differently with her..
Just wondering what other people think!

JoolsToo Tue 12-Apr-05 19:32:58

je ne regret riens

Gobbledigook Tue 12-Apr-05 19:34:24

The only thing I did regret was giving a dummy but actually if the truth be told it was JoolsToo that gave ds1 a dummy when I wasn't looking on a family holiday (evil!) but then again, they have been useful and I got him off it very easily quite recently so I'm a bit more laid back about ds2 having his. DS3 hasn't got on though.

jane313 Tue 12-Apr-05 19:34:52

I think I would have slept when he slept in the early days instead of doing other stuff but it would be difficult to have that luxury with 2. Also would have spent more time in cafes reading that trying to make mum friends. It would have been way more enjoyable.

flamesparrow Tue 12-Apr-05 19:35:33

A problem I still have.... I need to step away from the toddler when pmt hits or she bears the brunt

kama Tue 12-Apr-05 19:38:08

Message withdrawn

ChocolateGirl Tue 12-Apr-05 19:39:19

I would have persevered with breastfeeding. Also, I would have rocked babe to sleep instead of just putting him in his cot. They're not little for long...

MissChief Tue 12-Apr-05 19:41:15

regret changing careers and therefor focussing on it so much while ds small - great for me but he has suffered and think should have delayed it, or done more slowly. sometime wish i could re-wire myself to go at his speed - to notice the bees buzzing in the passing trees, cracks on the pavement, number & colours of passing vans - all the things which make his day, yet I so often hurry him along. expecting a new baby too, so like you I[m hoping to learn from my mistakes but will surely just make different ones I guess!

hermykne Tue 12-Apr-05 19:44:27

chocolate girl they are only little for such a short time , and you are so right, my ds is now 8mths and i still think he could only be 5mths as dd is 2 1/2 and i dont know where the days go.

to keep a diary of the days becuase i know i would love to read it all onver again when the dementia sets in, as it has already,

i try to take photos alot like a visual record of the days.

Caligula Tue 12-Apr-05 19:51:21

I regret needing to go back to work when DS was 6 months old and leaving him in the care of his useless father, who I fondly imagined was the best person to look after him.

I also regret giving up on washable nappies when DD was 6 months because they started leaking - now realise I should have just invested in some new ones (I know they're supposed to last 2 or 3 children, but some just don't).

Donbean Tue 12-Apr-05 20:13:38

I regret not taking evening primrose as soon as my periods returned after stopping breast feeding. Im sure i wouldnt now have such evil PMT.
Writing stuff down, funny stuff, sad stuff, first time achievements, YKWIM.
other than that i cant think of any thing else.

bubbly1973 Tue 12-Apr-05 20:55:19

when i never had a digi cam, and just a normal camera, i regret not writing the date on the back of the photos

someone told me to, and i thought 'yeh yeh, like im gonna forget when each 5000 pics were taken'

doh! i have to guess how many months ds is on some of the photos by the clothes he is wearing

kid Tue 12-Apr-05 20:58:04

I wish I could remember what I did with DD that meant she was a calm little girl. If I could remember, I would have done the same with DS who has a v.bad temper (at times)

tallulah Wed 13-Apr-05 19:21:48

Having so many, so close & being so ground down by the sheer drudgery of looking after 3 under 4s/ 4 under 6s that there was never time to actually enjoy each child.

Taking notice of my flaming mother & her constant criticism instead of telling her to bog off... which would have helped with the point above

morningpaper Wed 13-Apr-05 19:24:56

tallulah: so interesting, I was just reading your post on the other thread and feeling very jealous of your close--in-age brood!

My dd is 2 and a half but I wish I hadn't taken so much notice of the health visitor/other mums telling me that she 'should be sleeping through by now.'

Posey Wed 13-Apr-05 19:36:54

Not a regret exactly, but I wish I'd been more confident in my decisions when dd was a baby. I wish I'd been more open about what decisions I made, even if they went against the grain instead of doubting myself. For instance I really felt guilty that dd slept with us so didn't let it carry on. Ds has slept with us at least part of most nights and I really don't care who knows it or whether they approve or not.

I echo what kid said too. I wish I knew what made dd such a calm child while ds has a terrible temper at times. Just genes I guess.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 13-Apr-05 19:37:03

I regret wishing for the next stage, ie couldn't wait for her first words, step etc... I should have just enjoyed her every moment. The next stages came too fast but I was far too impatient to see they would... (Makes no sense I know)

Jimjams Wed 13-Apr-05 19:46:24

vaccinating ds1

darlingbud Wed 13-Apr-05 19:47:44

I regret having PND and not enjoying the first few months. will defo try and be more relaxed next time.

blueteddy Wed 13-Apr-05 19:51:38

I also regret having ante natal & post natal depression and not enjoying my pregnancy with ds2, or his first few months.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't bitterly regret this & pictures of him as a tiny baby make me cry.

Caligula Wed 13-Apr-05 20:18:27

JimJams I think your regret certainly puts all mine into perspective.

TwoIfBySea Wed 13-Apr-05 20:53:08

I would have gone more with my intuition rather than other people's "advice." Not once has the advice proved worthwhile and if I had gone with my gut instinct it would have gone better.

TinyGang Wed 13-Apr-05 21:03:51

I regret wasting precious time stressing about everything that has to be done, and getting in a state about it, instead of just thinking 'so what' and enjoying the moment. I still do this though - when you're in the middle of it all and horribly pushed it's hard to stop.

I also regret post birth saying,'No I look awful, don't worry about having me in the picture'. Result: in all newborn pictures the babies are photographed with every Tom, Dick and Harry except me.

sahara Wed 13-Apr-05 21:40:03

I regret most of my life.
But hey that's life.

bubbly1973 Wed 13-Apr-05 21:55:17

fuzzywuzzy, know what you mean, i was the same there for a bit until i realised that i should appreciate each stage as it happened, and not want to rush on to the next stage..they grow up so fast dont they!

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