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I'd go for 2. And while it's possible 1 out of 3 wouldn't have replied, not 3/3, so yes, they're probably still in teh trays.
Can you catch them in the playground? Can you check with the teacher if the notes were passed on?
i certainly wouldn't do 1, otherwise you may have wasted your time and got DD excited for nothing. Unless you're a really unpleasant person (which i'm sure you aren't!) i'd guess they've not had them.
Work on the basis that they are not coming. If they got them then they are all really bad mannered. If they didn't they'll be none the wiser and you'll not be stuck in. Oh poor DD!
ah, sorry forgot! (in a different country )
Does sound like they didn't get the invites- can't believe all three families would not have replied. I'd go for option 2
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