If a friend offers to babysit...........

[SalBySea]

....do you pay them?

I dont mean a regular arrangement, I mean if a friend offers to babysit occasionally so that you and DP can go to the cinema etc.

Is it an offer of a favour or do you pay?

What if you never babysat their kids? (have no prior experience with kids so never took care of my friend's babies)

[thisisyesterday]

no, i don't. but maybe I should?????

[DanJARMouse]

I wouldnt pay, but maybe say thank you with a bottle of wine or chocs or something.

[2pt4kids]

If a friend offered I'd probably ask if they'd rather have some cash or a promise of babysitting in return.
If they say no, nothing and refuse it then I'd buy some flowers or something imstead I think.

[GrapefruitMoon]

If she doesn't want you to return the favour and you can afford it, either offer to pay or else get in some nice food for her to have while she is there or buy her some flowers? Obv that might be over the top if it's only for an hour or so!

[iheartdusty]

Not unless she explains that she is going to charge. One of my friends does this to earn a bit extra, and she is totally up front about it. But I would definitely expect to return a favour in some way.

[Lulumama]

schneebly has helped me out with my children on a number of occasions, i took her out for a big chinese banquet to say thank you .i am often unable to reciprocate with babysitting as i have a DH who is rarely home in the evening... so i wanted to do something nice for her instead

[Soph73]

I always make sure I've done some food so they can have some dinner and put a bottle of wine in the fridge. Never actually thought to ask if they wanted to be paid instead However she's done it more than once so that arrangement must be OK.

[MascaraOHara]

No I don't pay if friends offer, I gernally make sure there wine in the fridge though

[purlease]

bottle of wine, chocolates or return the favour if relevant.

[SalBySea]

"No I don't pay if friends offer, I gernally make sure there wine in the fridge though"

I hope you mean for them to take home after and not to drink whilst my child is in their care!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

my bf pays me in mint matchmakers - LOVE them

a box of those and im happy

though thats coz she is my bf, anyone i babysit for , i charge

ask your friend if they want to be paid or return the favour and see what they say

[MascaraOHara]

No, of course for them to drink while they are sitting..

[Lulumama]

do you not have a glass of wine when you are at home with your DC , sal?

[SalBySea]

not often, and no way would we both drink if we were the only ones there with a baby!

I would be horrified if a sitter drank when babysitting! why would they? completely irresponsible!

[SalBySea]

"ask your friend if they want to be paid or return the favour and see what they say"

I wouldnt offer to babysit in return as her kids are older and I have no experience looking after 2 and 6 year olds and wouldnt have a clue what to do with them. So I guess I'll just offer to pay and see what she says

[Lulumama]

goodness, i often have a glass of wine or a beer in the evening,when the children are in bed. i certainly would not drink to the point of intoxication though.

have been far more incapacitated through illness and back pain over the years, than alcohol, but often been in sole charge of my children.

[MascaraOHara]

Lol, Sorry. It's a glass or 2 of wine not a bottle of vodka to wash down some sleeping pills.

I guess everybody makes there own decisions as to what is and isn't acceptible

Maybe age and circumstance makes a difference. My dd is 6 and has no health issues.. the worst that is likely to happen is that she gets up for a wee and stubs her toe

[MascaraOHara]

x posts with Lulu, we are of the same thinking and likewise.. have been more incapacitated with flu etc and still managed - have been a single parent for 6years.. you roll with the punches

[Milkmade]

Our neightbour babysits, and tbh I'd feel weird handing her a tenner as she walked back upstairs... But then agian, she has a good job and I know she's in no need of the money. I do make sure there's wine in the fridge (yes for the evening whiole she's sitting!), and usually try to ask her for dinner (either restaurant or at ours) every so often (not on a you babysat so I'll cook dinner tit-for-tat basis but often enough)
Only comment she's ever made on the set up was to tell us to leave earlier "because if I babysit I get to do the bedtime story"!

[Lulumama]

oh yeah, you have not lived until you have managed to get two children through the day depsite not being able to turn your head or bend down !

[SalBySea]

wine/vodka - what's the difference? both deminish response times etc. I wouldnt consider someone drinking wine whilst caring for my child as more acceptable than someone having a few vodka&cokes

I know that some people dont consider wine drinking to be "proper" drinking, but it is. People who drink wine a few days a week are no different in my mind than people who drink tinnies most days.

[SalBySea]

I guess what I mean is leaving a babysitter with a bottle of wine is just as shocking to me as if a babysitter turned up with a 4 pack of tenants

I cannot tell the difference personally

[MascaraOHara]

I wouldn't mind if they turned up with a 4 pack of lager.. the few who sit for free are my close friends and I trust them, I trust them enough to look after my child while I am out, I trust them not to drink themselves to incapacity.

[choppychopster]

When my SIL or friends babysit, I get some nice food in or leave them money for a takeaway. Also say that they can order a movie from the on demand service if they want.

Whilst I wouldn't have any issues with them having a few glasses of wine whilst babysitting, they'll usually be driving home, so would decline anyway.

[SalBySea]

@ mascaraohara

You cannot control a vehicle after a 4 pack so I certainly wouldnt consider someone responsible enough to look after my child if they had drunk to much to drive a car!