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Parenting

Coping with Teasing

3 replies

lljkk · 10/02/2009 14:17

DS is being teased most break-times by another Yr-4 boy ("K"). Among other ideas I have tried the following advice:

Ignore it: DS can't, he's too emotional.
Walk Away: K follows DS around
Tell an Adult: Not always available, K denies saying anything, K starts up again as soon as adult out of earshot
Take matter to Teacher or Headteacher: They would probably insist DS have some kind of face-2-face talk with K where DS would admit how upset he is; both DS and I hate this idea. You don't want to tell a prat just how much he's hurt you, he'll see it as a greenlight to do it even more often.

This page makes loads of suggestions, but they are all based around being witty and thinking quickly on your feet; I'm not sure DS can do that, although I will put those ideas to DS later.

In meantime I resorted to telling DS to insult back, using as few words as possible (You prat, stop being such a baby, etc.) That feels like the wrong advice, too, but what else can he do??

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lljkk · 10/02/2009 17:05

.

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neolara · 10/02/2009 17:13

Partial agreement can work well because the teaser gets little reaction and it can't really escalate into an argument. It just becomes boring. If you practise it with your ds at home, he'll will get the hang of it quite quickly. If he only has one strategy to think about, he might find it easier to think of what to say.

Partial agreement goes something like this...
"Your so fat" - "Hm, I suppose I could loose a pound or two" said in a not very interested and bored kind of way.
"Four eyes" - "Well I do wear glasses, you're right"
"Your so thick" - "I suppose I do find some work a little bit hard"
"You're a prat" - "I can see that that's what you think sometimes" etc.

Good luck.

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lljkk · 12/02/2009 13:26

Thanks neolara.
Problem is that still requires a bit of quick thinking: "Can I agree with part of that without giving more ammunition?", I don't think DS thinks like that. And how do you partly agree with "You spiteful little kid,", "You deserved it!" etc.?

We've also come up with:

  • Roll eyes and say Whatever!
  • Roll eyes and say Yeah, Yeah,, I get the idea.
    I've also heard "Punch him in the face back!" (tempting)
    Point at some part of his body he's insecure about and just laugh your head off (unfortunately, neither DS nor I can think of what that would be for K).

    BTW, I really don't want to be involved in all this, but I was teased badly in school so I know how nasty it is and DS has been complaining for ages about it.
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