PLEASE help me before i do something i regret

[LucyEllensmummy]

to my DDs Ponyville ponies!!! I swear to God, i am going to go mad - and so is DP! If i have to pretend to be a fecking flutter pony or unicorn any more i am going to put them in a saucepan and melt them!

It all started innocently enough - DP, being the indulgent daddy that he is, bought DD some Ponyville ponies (they are minature my little ponies and they are really sweet actually) when we were walking round tesco. DD didn't seem interested so i "lost" them on the way round as they were quite expensive - but, true to form, she noticed - queue tantrum, quickly averted by replacing said ponies. Thinking Shit, weve just wasted £8 she wont play with them. If only, if only that were true!!

So now, she has more ponies than i can count, well about 8 - all the houses and a ponyville playground. She ADORES these bloody horses. Great - you would think, but not when the first thing she does every morning is arrive in my bedroom with handful of ponies - "please play" "Lucy, mummy has just opened her eyes, give me a break" "pleasey please" "in a minute" "PLAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY" through gritted teeth. And it doesn't stop - DP came home late and it made DDs bedtime late - he is still up there now being fucking sprinkly fecking snowflake or whatever the latest thing is called. And we can never get it right - we live on a knife edge - NOOOOOOOOO you didn't say it right mummy, you are naughty now! Say XYZ, you be flutter pony ad nauseum

I fell asleep on her bed earlier - she woke me up by bashing me on the head with the bastard horses, "mummy, i have no one to play with" "play with your horses darling, ive got tummy ache" (PMT) "PLAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY"

Honestly, the only respite i get is the five minutes i can sneak on here and when she is at playschool. I would lose the ponies, but if it wasn't them it would be something else.

So, giant winge over - DD is 3, and a lovely little girl. But for about 3-4 months now, all she has wanted to do is role play and it is properly driving me demented. I just can't DO role play!! I CAN@T do it, i have NO imagination!!! I am finding it impossible to engage her in anything else - arty stuff - she is a nightmare just now as she wants to do it all and then can't but wont let me show her - we used to have lovely times together doing this. Puzzles, nup, not interested, farm set - no way, cars? Well yes, we managed to play cars today - only because the fucking ponies had to ride in them!!! I tried lego - "do you want to do some building?" "yes mummy" looks excited, i get the bricks out - she goes and gets her horses - "we can make them a swimming pool" - Queue an hour of "NO, mummy, NOT on there, you have to make her jump over it"

I mean, its verging on OCD!!!! im climbing the walls - please tell me its a phase, i am dreaming about the bastard things!

[pregnabrain]

ha ha ha ha - you have just made me laugh so much.

you have just described life in our house perfectly. and it's slowly driving me insane.

[Twims]

I would put them away and say she can only have them in quiet time after lunch for 40 minutes whilst you do MN Sleep nothing chores.

Play with her for 10 minutes then explain that you can't play with her as you have to do the ironing, but you will be there if she needs something then leave her, if she asks you to play explain that she is fine and you have to do the jobs - then praise her when she plays well.

[pregnabrain]

sorry - the laughter was not meant to be unsympathetic.

i totally feel your pain.

[Wolfcub]

both dp and I are pissing ourselves laughing. I know it doesn't help you but THANK YOU. All I can say is thank god for boys

[angel1976]

That is the FUNNIEST post I have read in a long time! I read the whole thing to DP and we both pissed ourselves laughing and went on google to look them up... DP says luckily, boys don't have such intricate toys... Famous last words I say... Sorry, that didn't help either did it? But thank you, it sure lighten up the mood in here tonight!

[Wolfcub]

can you invite a playdate friend around that she could inflict them on or perhaps a doting aunt/granparent/babysitter?

[mawbroon]

With my 3yo ds, it is buses.

He talks all day about buses.

Mummy, where does the 25 go?

Mummy, we were on the 49, it goes to the school

Mummy, the X47 doesn't stop here, it goes whooooooosh all the way from Cameron Toll to Ikea.

Mummy can we go on a 19

Mummy the X48 is a bendy bus.

etc etc etc etc etc all day long.

Saying "yes" "mm,hmm" etc doesn't fool him, I have to have full blown conversations about buses.

My own fault for selling the car and getting a bus pass I guess! At least he can tell me which bus to get if I am lost.

LucyEllensMummy - I reckon it's a phase, and this too will pass.

[BennyAndJoon]

Playdate - it will give you a break

[LucyEllensmummy]

playdate - we are fully into playdate - shudder - ive not braved one in my house yet, they do work though, but you can't live your life in a constant playdate can you

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I can quite imagine them taking over your life. I have 2 boys so don't have any of the actual ponies, but would inwardly kick myself whenever I found myself absentmindedly singing the song from the advert a few months back, whilst making a cup of tea.

For the uninitiated: www.youtube.com/watch?v=biRZ-zCy3gs&feature=PlayList&p=B2299BCCACB0B5EA&playnext=1&index=2

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

LucyEllensmummy, will you have nightmares now?!

[milsna]

lmao!!! aww thanks for cheering me up!!!

[Othersideofthechannel]

DD is just 4 and a bit like this, but with her she wants to act out the same story all the time but with different creatures: we play the same mummy and baby role play with dinosaurs, farm yard animals, starwars lego, playmobil pirates, finger puppets and of course dolls.

Fortunately having a brother to play with it is not morning to night, only about 10 times a day.

[CaptainKarvol]

Ahhahahahahaha

Its toy cars in our house.

'Which one you like, mummy?'

'Ruuuum it, mummy, rummmm it on the rummmmming mat/hallway/chair'

I mean, how long can you seriously entertain yourself pushing a dinky car around going 'vruuum'?

[mollythetortoise]

did you post a very happy message after you bought them, saying how they entertained your dd and what a great buy they were?? I remember such a post a few months ago and I did think , just you wait they will take over your house and then YOUR LIFE. If not you, then another mum . We went through such a phase about 2 years ago. My solution, to have another baby so I was not the only playmate! and it does pass, although dd has been playing with two of her ponies this morning but I am not obliged to join in!

[milkysallgone]

Rofl! Bloody hilariious - you have my sympathies. Thank God dd has poor ds to torment with such things.

[AnarchyHeart]

I feel for you - DD (5.9) is still very into My Little fecking Pony and I hate playing with them, I really do. She's got about 20 collected from jumble sales and Grandma (who clearly hates me).

I find solace in making up alternative names for the little buggers - Glitter Glue, Rendered Sparkle, that kinda thing...

[TheProvincialLady]

Mawbroom, just get your DS a brown anorak and a little notebook, park him at the bus station and go shopping

My 2.5 DS is just the same about Dr Who - a programme which he has never seen BTW but he knows practically every monster and character since it began (don't ask how). A lot of my day is spent like this:

DS: Mummy you shall be Lila
Me: OK DS and who will you be?
DS: Dr Who Tom Baker. Oh no mummy don't be Lila, you be Jo.
Me: OK Dr who, I am Jo.
DS: No I am not Dr Who Tom Baker I am Dr Who John Pertwee
Me: OK, hello Dr Who John Pertwee
DS: Quick! Run from the Axons!

etc

[Kammy]

I'm afraid it doesn't stop....last year I had to bear the pain of contsant re-enactments of Star Wars with ds (then 6). Just when I was an expert and knew every nuance, relationship sub text and lightsaber move..it changed - to Pokemon.

Pokemon is very complicated. Different types, moves, battles things called TM's and HM's. The work for my Masters course is easier to grasp.

Oh god.

[MamacitaGordita]

Such a funny thread- brings back memories of my own Pony obsession (first time round, in the 80s!) I had a story book with the most looong, convoluted, ridiculous plotline, full of typos, which I would demand be read to me constantly. The memory haunts my poor dad still!

BTW I am not still obsessed by My Little Pony so you can rest assured your DD will indeed grow out of it.

Although watching that youtube clip did provoke rather strong happy feelings... hmmmmmmmm........

[stealthsquiggle]

I am clearly cruel and nasty and neglectful mother as 99% of the time I just refuse to do role-play with my DC and tell them to do it by themselves - and fortunately possibly as a result they both appear to be capable of constructing elaborate scenarios with no active input from me. DD(2.5) has spent most of the morning catering for UpsyDaisy's every need and whim.

[Kammy]

I don't actually have to role play Pokemon thank god, but I am subjected to constant cross examination about which is my fav, what does 'x' evolve into, what TM would beat a fire type.

Only consolation is that it is a phase..and next year at age 8 we'll be onto something else. And maybe when I've given in, he'll turn teenage and silent, and it will all work the other way round with me begging him for a convo or to go and do something.

[claireybrations]

Last week I had to spend an entire morning being mummy pig. DD was Peppa, and DS was George. She wouldn't answer if I used her real name, and would tell me off if I called DS by his. I had to snort after every sentence, and every 15 minutes or so she'd say "now we're funny, lie down and laugh".

Thank god she isn't into ponies yet

[Salleroo]

Love it, that was funny. I feel for you, especially being bopped awake with a pony, but nevertheliss, hilarious story.