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Is it rude to put this on a party invite?

(24 Posts)
MakkaPakkasPacamac Tue 03-Feb-09 18:12:00

DS's party next week (talk about leaving things to the last minute!) is somewhere where there is a strict limit on the amount of children allowed. In the past I've always had a few parents bring along the siblings of the invited child, which is irritating enough when you're just doing the party yourself and haven't catered for uninvited siblings. But in this case they won't actually be allowed in so I want to mention this on the invites. It's not rude if I say something like "sorry that we can't invite brothers and sisters as well, but the venue won't allow extra children", is it?

AlistairSim Tue 03-Feb-09 18:13:13

Sounds fine to me.

Very bad form to bring uninvited guests anyway.

Sidge Tue 03-Feb-09 18:14:00

I don't think that's rude. Better for parents to be aware than to pitch up with sibs and get stroppy when they can't go in as well.

snackattack Tue 03-Feb-09 18:14:03

I agree - so long as it's worded like that, then it's out of your hands and can't cause offence. Drives me mad too by the way....

shootfromthehip Tue 03-Feb-09 18:14:46

Nope- fine to control the numbers IMO

MakkaPakkasPacamac Tue 03-Feb-09 18:16:47

Thanks everyone. It is rude to bring extras, isn't it?! I understand that it's hard in some case, but why would you just bring them anyway without checking first?

sarah293 Tue 03-Feb-09 18:17:27

Message withdrawn

luckylady74 Tue 03-Feb-09 18:17:46

Is it somewhere that they could pay to come in too? I've seen that on invites - along the lines of - we're sorry we have the maximum capacity of party guesta so if any siblings are coming then they'll have to pay the entry charge.
Or just say that you've got maximum numbers and you're dreadfully sorry that means no extra children can come.
Prepare yourself for some people not making it though as if you are a single parent or your partner works at weekends it's not easy to find childcare for additional siblings if you're child's like mine and won't let you leave!

eandh Tue 03-Feb-09 18:19:28

sounds fine - I often have to take dd2 with me if dd invited but always check its okay and if in soft play etc I'll but her dinner to arrive at same time as party food if in a hall etc then the party person mum/dad normally say to get dd somehting to eat

if dd2 couldnt come with me I'd undertsand and decline teh invitation but still take a small gift and card to school/house

eandh Tue 03-Feb-09 18:20:06

buy her dinner blush

Olihan Tue 03-Feb-09 18:20:13

I take along one of the younger ones if I absolutely have to but make it clear that I don't want them to be fed/entertained etc.

I think your wording sounds fine.

PortAndLemon Tue 03-Feb-09 18:30:19

In our circle taking along extra younger siblings is more-or-less expected, but there are various reasons for that that I won't go into and don't apply in most cases. And even then people usually check first, and they may or may not be fed or entertained depending on circumstances.

scifinerd Tue 03-Feb-09 18:36:55

Absolutely fine, all the parents I know do this. For my dd's first school party I was too embarrassed and ended up with 60 kids!!!!!!! It was a nightmare and noone enjoyed it. Learnt my lesson since especially after receiving invites sayiny "no siblings please". Totally acceptable in my circle.

MakkaPakkasPacamac Tue 03-Feb-09 19:39:34

No, it isn't anywhere they can pay to go into - it's closed to the public.

Mind you, we've left it so late to organise that half of them might not be able to make it anyway

PortAndLemon Tue 03-Feb-09 19:47:11

That's always a good way of keeping the numbers down smile

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 03-Feb-09 20:51:09

i think its really rude of mums to turn up with siblings if not invited

i wouldnt dream of showing up at a party with my charges, and assuming siblings are invited

mynewnickname Tue 03-Feb-09 21:52:56

At what age does this start to be OK or is it always OK? With ds's three and four year old mates they always seem to allow siblings and so far I have but for ds's 4th I really need to start keeping numbers a bit more sensible. Would it be OK to say no siblings for a fourth birthday party?

scotagm Wed 11-Feb-09 21:55:19

Only have one - still negotiating the whole party thing. Far too many "social" rules.

Hadn't even considered the whole second sibling thing. If the only way to get an invited child there is to bring the sibling along, is this so bad? How would a single parent ever be able to take a child anywhere otherwise?

Hulababy Wed 11-Feb-09 21:58:16

Wording sounds fine and perfectly acceptable to include on invite.

Loopymumsy Thu 12-Feb-09 11:33:02

Message withdrawn

milsna Fri 13-Feb-09 08:50:03

yes sounds fine!

I have 3 dc and would never bring them along to parties, but dd is now old enough to be left so not really an issue

averyboringname Fri 13-Feb-09 09:57:55

Scotagm - of course it's not so bad but where you're, say, inviting 15 of a dc's friends that would be manageable but when it turns into 22 or so kids because loads of siblings come too it is a different matter, and expensive too! expensive.

Reallytired Sat 14-Feb-09 19:33:01

I think it is perfectly reasonable to make it clear that sibblings aren't invited. It can cause all sorts of tantrums when there aren't enough party bags, or the birthday cake has to be cut into stupidly small pieces.

lunamoon2 Sun 15-Feb-09 18:13:02

Sympathise Makka- think it is fine.

Eandh-pml at your post, I too have been in this position and spent the entire time sweating as the sandwiches got scoffed by uninvited older siblings and felt like Jesus as I had to make a birthday cake intended to feed 20 stretch to around double the number.

Am still amazed at the number of parents who didn't reply and then turned up with siblings in tow too.

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