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How do I manage constant demands of 1 yr old?

(16 Posts)
Moop Mon 02-Feb-09 12:50:58

Generally my DD - 12 months is very good but the one thing I am finding hard is the never keeping still, the never looking at anything for more than 30 seconds. It means that from 7am til about 2pm when she is generally sleeping for a couple of hours (at the moment) - I can have no rest - she will just about stay in the cot sometimes for 5-10 minutes whilst I have a shower (but will often cry when I leave the room even for a minute or two). I cannot get her to stay in the playpen for any length of time which means going to the loo, getting ready to go out is accompanied by lots of bawling.

I find myself getting irritated if I am trying to have a sandwich for 5 mins (I generally eat with her but don't always coordinate) and she won't sit still for 5 mins which means I am up all the time moving her and then she goes back again and I am up again and I then ger irritated. I know it is not right and I am angry with myself for showing irritation but it feels relentless. We have another due in May which adds to the problems. My DH does help but he is at work all day and at the weekends it is 1/2 hr help here and there - he does not see it as his primary responsibility so I feel as if I get no respite.

Othersideofthechannel Mon 02-Feb-09 13:01:19

If she doesn't like the playpen very much, it sounds like you need to make your house completely babyproof. Then you can let her crawl or toddle around while you eat your sandwich.

DS used to play in the bathroom while I was in the shower. I had to completely rearrange the cupboards so that only towels were in reach (wasn't a problem if he decided to empty that cupboard) and cosmetics etc out of reach.

Oh and get used to having little ones follow you into the toilet. Mine have just stopped doing it and they are 4 and 5.

MrsBadger Mon 02-Feb-09 13:07:06

otherside is right

more babyproofing

the less you have to say 'no' or 'don;t touch that' the better

dd had her own kithcen cupboard (full of plastic boxes, beakers, sieves etc) when the rest were strapped shut and spent hours, days even emp[tying it all over the kitchen

has she decent non-toy playthings (cardboard tubes and boxes, the peg bag, icecream tubs, the laundry basket etc)?

also, go out more, at least once a day if not twice, even if it's only a stroll round the block
nothing worse than being stuck in the house with a bored child

Supercherry Mon 02-Feb-09 14:41:59

Agree with the others. My DS is 1 this week and he is such a little fidget and of course, hates being confined in any way (car seat, push chair, cot etc). I guess they just want to explore! I have totally baby proofed my living room, kitchen, bathroom. All cupboards which he can reach have baby locks on (or sellotape where the oven is concerned), all sockets have those babyproof plugs in (from poundland). I never put the fire on but just have the central heating on making sure radiators aren't too hot. The only thing I tend to have to stop him doing is lifting up the loo seat while I am in the bath. I keep stashes of toys everywhere too, but to be honest the things that keep him occupied for longest are random household items such as a saucepan with wooden spoons, plastic cups etc in. If I go to the toilet or have a bath I take him with me unless he's asleep. I do sympathise with you though, you sound like you need a break- is there anyone who can give you a helping hand?

Supercherry Mon 02-Feb-09 14:43:47

Oh and sometimes my DS will actually watch CBeebies for 10 minutes- heaven!

seeker Mon 02-Feb-09 15:08:26

Why can't she come to the loo or into the bathroom with you while you hve a shower? Have a small basket of toys (or a treasure basket) to take with you, and just put her on the floor with it while you do whatever you need to do. Same goes for eating your lunch -what's she doing that you have to keep moving her? Can't you just let her get on with it?

For what it's worth, and I know you don't believe it, but it really is just a short phase - she'll be a different person in a month or two.

herbgarden Mon 02-Feb-09 15:12:27

My ds was always like this and he's now 2.6 years. He still comes to the loo with me (unless watching telly). He will play in my bed whilst I have a shower now but always came in with me at that age and I'd just find him things to do (locked the door so he couldn't escape) - he was very clingy and would scream if I left him for just a couple of seconds. It does pass but it is trying. Your life is not your own. I did used to go out a lot just so that I was not driven mad and he would always be happy with other company so that was an option too. It will pass and then when they can talk they might constantly be saying "mummy will you play with me ?!!"

cmotdibbler Mon 02-Feb-09 15:14:40

Yup, babyproof. And take her in the shower or bath with you.

And at the weekend, go swimming or something else for you and leave DD with your DH. It'll be good for you all

dontbitemytoes Mon 02-Feb-09 15:33:46

my dd was just like this, and whilst she still won't let me leave the room, she will now play happliy for up to an hour!! She is now 17 months and it did get easier from about 15 months. If you'd tried telling me she would play alone one day when she was 12mo i would never have believed you, but it's true!!!!

rookiemater Mon 02-Feb-09 15:38:56

It's an irritating phase. I found that babyproofing most of the kitchen cupboards but letting Ds wreak havoc with the tupperware kept him happy for a bit.

Oh and don't listen to your DH, you need a bit of space too. Go out for a couple of hours at the weekend and leave him to it. His child too and when DC2 arrives he will certainly have to entertain your DD for at least one or two days after the birth so its only fair that he gets to know how to do this now.

BeingMum Mon 02-Feb-09 15:40:26

Message deleted

rookiemater Mon 02-Feb-09 15:40:26

Oh and go out a lot at something that tires out your DD. I found and find it much less effort to actually be out with DS doing an activity such as swimming ( which also earns me a bonus long nap time grin) rather than getting under each others feet at home. Oh and he now will watch Cbeebies for about 20 mins at a time provided the right programme is on.

BananaSkin Mon 02-Feb-09 23:13:03

Yes, babyproof. I got my head-space by going out with him in the buggy. He enjoyed it and it gave me the chance to get some exercise and fresh air without chasing after him.

lilimama Tue 03-Feb-09 08:59:19

Can totally relate to this. baby einstein dvds, or 4 mins of BBC Cbeebies on internet both brought me a much earned peaceful sandwich and cuppa moment. couldn't live without them and I'm an anti telly mum.

Moop Tue 03-Feb-09 14:02:09

Thank you for all of your messages - I move her because we have hard floors and she is pulling dining chairs and going under the table which is the right height for her to hit her head.

I did try the bathroom this morning but need to work on that as she was into the loo and other things.

We do normally go out to playgroups but she has been unwell the last few days with sickness and diahorrea but fine in herself - just lots of baths and changes of clothes.

I will work on this because you have all said the same thing so it must make sense.

Othersideofthechannel Tue 03-Feb-09 17:36:22

Show her she needs to crawl under the dining table. Act out bumping your head. Then remind her (with your mouth full of sandwich if necessary!) everytime she goes under it. She'll soon pick it up.

And if she bumps her head a couple of times, she'll definitely remember.grin

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