Six years ago I wasn't particularly happy, but I did have a life. I went out. I had a lot of friends. I saw movies, lots of them. I'd finally decided that I was quite nice-looking, and in fact quite a few blokes asked me out, and if they were sufficiently dodgy, unreliable, attached elsewhere and/or the proud owner of a mild drink and/or drug habit, I would consent to some sort of pointlessly tortured affair-ette. All in all I was adjusting pretty well to the fact that I was facing a childless single middle age - and that I could in consequence take the risk of going freelance and generally Making A New Life.
And then I took up with DP and got pregnant and in lots of ways took a turn for the better, and actually my freelance career took off too and now I live in a rather nice house with two delightful daughters and a man who does want to be nice to me.
So why do I feel as if I'm swimming uphill through custard? Am I the only one? I have reached the point where the Inferiorettes, although admittedly capable of a certain winsome charm, also seem to behave in a manner more suited to under-fives boot camp than anywhere else. DD2 said her first sentence to me the other day (in front of another Mumsnetter and her family ): it was GO AWAY. She biffs people, bellows NO and throws herself into strops which I know perfectly well I should manage in boundary-setting chilledout way instead of standing around feeling pathetic and pointless. DD1 whinges and whinges and WHINGES, and also refuses to eat. I'm fed up and knackered - and then of course feel dreadfully guilty if they do, as they frequently do, commit a winsomely helpful act in my direction. They have eaten my life. I cannot remember when I last saw a grown-up movie. Come to that I'm such a knackered crap parent I can't remember taking them to anything similar either. And my self-image and self-esteem have taken such a major knock that the idea of anyone, however dodgy and/or desperate, succumbing to my aged charms is bloody ridiculous.
Anyone else for the custard waterfall?
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
Am I the only one swimming uphill through custard?
motherinferior · 03/04/2005 13:50
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