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Feeling useless and worthless

(7 Posts)
kissalot Fri 01-Apr-05 12:11:48

Hi! This is my first time on this site so here goes. I have two great kids aged 4 and 1 and I do enjoy being a stay at home mum to them (most of the time!) But things are not too great finacially athe the mo. My partner works long hours and has suggested I get an eveing job (he recently got made redundant and his new job dosn't pay as much. I have asked about at the local 24 hour supermarkets and nothing is about. I dont drive so it needs to be local and my partner dosn't want me to work in a pub. (Typical)
I feel so helpless - I cant get a full time job as child care costs would exceed what I could earn (wasn't exactly career girl befor kids and stopped working at 22 when pregnant)Also my little one is v clingy and shy. To top it off my partner thinks I've got it so easy being at home with the kds all day but as you know it is the complete opposite. I feel so un apppreciated and useless and as if I'm trapped.

Could ramble on forever lots of other probs too. I just feel so worn down by it all.
Anyone feeling like me???

Aimsmum Fri 01-Apr-05 12:19:21

Message withdrawn

kissalot Fri 01-Apr-05 12:30:00

Hello! Will look into the working family thing but doubt we qualify. The main problem we face is the mortgage and loan repayments. You are right in saying working evenings would be hard - I would be exhausted. I really think things have changed now - mums used to be frowned upon for working and putting their kids in nursery etc, but now it seems like you should be doing more than 'just' looking after your children. Maybe I'm just being paranoid!!

dinosaur Fri 01-Apr-05 12:35:18

Hello, welcome to mumsnet!

You'll find lots of help and support and chat on here. It's very addictive.

And you're not useless and worthless!

starlover Fri 01-Apr-05 21:47:24

you can apply online for tax credits at

starlover Fri 01-Apr-05 21:47:48

it tells you straight away if you're entitled, and what you can get

emmatom Fri 01-Apr-05 22:24:31

Hi Kissalot, Would you have felt so bad if your partner hadn't said anything?
It sounds like he is stressed and worried about the money thing so blurted out you should do something without realising you are working bloody hard!!
You said you enjoy being at home and good for you for that. These first few years go so quickly and it won't be long before both your kids are at primary school and then the world will be your lobster, so to speak.
When your partner is in a calmer mood, could you reason with him you have a full time job at the moment with the children and can material things be cut back in any way to help the pressure on him?
Keep nattering on here anyway, it helps to talk.

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