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feel like ive got everything wrong

(20 Posts)
mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 10:20:44

sorry but need to offload.

DS had terrible night sleep last night, i was up most of the night. I feel bad because I didnt take him to nursery this morning, thought he needed a lie in but then he woke up at 8.30 anyway.

Had weaned him off a bottle of milk in the night for the last few nights and gave in at 5.30 this morning and gave him one.

Have finally had to resort to telling ex that if he cant agree to seeing DS regularly not to see him at all.

Last few times Ive taken DS to nursery he's literally been hanging on to me and crying and I've had to leave him like that (although nursery say he's fine after 10 mins).

DP told me this morning that DS is out of control, has no boundaries and gets exactly what he wants. basically im a crap mother.

Have shouted at DS this morning because he is really whiny (because he's tired) and then cried infront of him.

I've got everything wrong and I feel so rubbish. I cant stop crying. Whats wrong with me?

compo Wed 14-Jan-09 10:23:33

aw, how old is he?
is he at nursery while you work?
does he have to go if it is making you feel awful leaving him there?

MadameCastafiore Wed 14-Jan-09 10:23:36

You don't sound like a crap mother at all - sounds like a normal time for someone going through what you are with XP.

Honestly give yourself a break and have a pyjama day with DS and start again tomorrow - it is awful trying to wean them off milk in the night and you are doing well getting to 5.30am - even if you do that for a week and then make it 6.30 or give him water at 5.30 for a week so he realises he isn't going to get milk - you are getting somewhere.

wasabipeanut Wed 14-Jan-09 10:25:40

Oh you have to stop beating yourself up. You don't sound like a ctap mum at all.

How old is your ds?

OneLieIn Wed 14-Jan-09 10:26:52

You know we all have bad days - yours is just today.

You're doing a good job.

The leaving nursery thing is really common - both of my 2 did exactly that, don;t go, don't leave, cry, cry, cry and then stopped. If you can, get there a bit earlier and once you have dropped him off wait outside listening and you will soon see that the nursery staff are telling you the truth.

Give yourself a break - this being a parent thing is tough.

mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 10:27:06

He's 3 and a half.
Normally he is fine about me leaving and he does love it when he's there.
Everythings got on top of me and i cant let it, im the only one here for DS.
He'd gone two or three nights not having milk and I feel like I've let him down by giving in. Its just confusing for him.

OneLieIn Wed 14-Jan-09 10:29:00

Don't be silly. You haven't let him down! Tonight is another night and you will be fine - just stick with your plan and he will drop it before you know it.

Make sure you stuff him full of food and drink before bed too!

mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 10:32:12

thanks. i know you are right. i need to pull myself together.

wasabipeanut Wed 14-Jan-09 10:35:23

We all have shit days. As Oneliein says, stick with the plan and all will slowly drop into place.

Be kinder to yourself too.

Hassled Wed 14-Jan-09 10:37:13

Three and half year old boys are blooming hard work, in my experience - you've got nothing wrong and are doing a very hard job well. So much of parenthood is just feeling your way - and everyone has blips. Tomorrow will be better.

dilemma456 Wed 14-Jan-09 10:47:25

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mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 11:02:25

The milk in the night was a big problem because he was waking 5 or 6 times a night demanding milk, I just feel rubbish for giving in this morning because the last few nights he's eventually slept better for not waking up and needing a bottle to get back to sleep.

I'm just so tired I gave in. Feel like I've undone everything.

Everyone around me seems to have a comment about what i should be doing with DS. Maybe they're right but its easy to look from the outside when you dont have kids and make judgements. He's lovely, he really is. And generally really happy. I think he's just so tired too. Thats why i feel crap about the milk, cos if he goes back to how it was he's going to be even more tired.

mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 11:03:08

i'm burbling on. sorry.

dilemma456 Wed 14-Jan-09 11:11:52

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mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 11:12:56

haha thats how crap I am... he comes in my bed every night too. sad

dilemma456 Wed 14-Jan-09 12:16:17

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mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 12:47:11

How old is your DD dilemma?

dilemma456 Wed 14-Jan-09 13:38:31

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mankymummy Wed 14-Jan-09 18:50:05

ah bless. thanks for responding today. have pulled myself together, tidied up most of the house and DS had a little sleep and is now an angel again grin

dilemma456 Wed 14-Jan-09 22:21:54

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