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Help! baby just wants to be held all the time and she's been fed, changed, winded....

15 replies

wintermummy · 12/01/2009 16:24

She's 2 months old? I am just shattered and so is she. She wants to sleep on me too and if I put her down she'll wake in a few minutes and start crying again so unless I hold her for hours she won't sleep. She's also feeding all the time. Met other new mum's last week and they are being fed every 3 hours. I'm breasfeeding still on demand!

I've tried swaddling, she hates it as kept getting out, so got a grobag but doesn't help.

What do I do????? This is my first baby, is this normal? Sorry this sounds disjointed but she's screaming for me again. Thanks for any help you can give.

OP posts:
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Divineintervention · 12/01/2009 16:27

Is she full when fed, back to basics with latching on etc. My dd was like this for 8 months and in retrospect she may have had acid reflux, which can be treated.
Her symtoms were crying when put down even on a long journey in a car. I co slept which is the only way I got through it, she was dc3.
My dc4 is feeding alot more than every three hours too.

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claireybrations · 12/01/2009 16:32

Perfectly normal. DS was like this, and even dd (who was quite an easy baby really) wanted to be held all the time to begin with. It does get easier as they get older, although that can seem a long time coming (especially when sleep deprived).

Do you have a sling? I found a wrap sling invaluable with ds, meant I could hold him all the time and still be able to get on with other stuff.

Have you tried lying her down next to you once she is asleep? With ds I found if I gradually changed position from sitting to lying down and stayed kind of curled around him he would stay asleep (it takes a bit of practice!)

Keep posting too, I found MN support really helped through the worst times with ds.

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louii · 12/01/2009 16:36

My DS was like this, just wanted to be in my arms.

I got a sling and could just carry on with my day.

He never went more than 2 hours without breastfeeding, just wanted to suck, a lot, after a month or so when my milk supply was grand I gave him a soother and that helped so much.

We also co-slept as was the only way we could get a sleep.

I just kinda accepted it wouldnt be forever, he was my first so could nap during the day with him if needed.

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reikizen · 12/01/2009 16:38

A sling saved my life with dd1. And accepting that babies just want to be held despite what 'experts' may try to tell you. They have been carried around inside you for 9 months, how could they suddenly be happy in a cot? Good luck, just hang on in there, it's all normal!

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domesticslattern · 12/01/2009 17:41

Firstlly don't listen to the other mothers. It will just make you feel crap. I also found out that many of them lie put a good gloss on things! In particular, there is lots of evidence that a "routine" doesn't help bf and that feeding on demand is the way to go. Feeding all the time is poss a growth spurt. My DD used to feed for hours and hours and hours at a time: we are talking cluster feeding for entire evenings. It drove me mad but it does end.

Other people here offer good advice re. slings etc. This might not make you feel better but it does get better, honest. My DD is now 13 months and wriggles away if I want to hold her, because there is always something much more exciting to look at/ play with somewhere else. Two months old is so small, she has been in you for nine months. If you can possible bear it, keep up the good work of holding her tight. It will end and you are doing something fabulously important.

Do you have a partner and can you take turns?

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juuule · 12/01/2009 17:51

Try swaddling tightly. At 2mo she shouldn't be able to get out of that
I swaddled (tightly) and then nursed to sleep, put down when asleep and it worked most times around this age (not all, but mostly).

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MamaG · 12/01/2009 17:53

sounds like my DS2, 9 weeks old!

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missymoo2411 · 12/01/2009 19:42

my ds 2 did this i swaddled him and got a baby swing it was the only thing that settled\ him and he used it till he was 1 good luk..

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thisisyesterday · 12/01/2009 19:44

get a sling!!!! seriouisly!
it's totally normal. of course shw wants to be held all the time. she has had 9 months of being inside you, warm, hearing you, constant movement
then out she comes and it's all different.

even if you held her for 12 hours a day that's still only half of what she is used to.
and she is still so tiny. oh and feeding on demand is GOOD!

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PoloPlayingMummy · 12/01/2009 20:07

This is totally normal.
Another vote for a sling - it really does help.

Ignore other mothers feeding routines. Feeding on demand is natural. Let your baby set the time table.

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MinkyBorage · 12/01/2009 20:08

stick her in a sling. It will get better!

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ChairmumMiaow · 12/01/2009 20:11

Sling. She wants to feel close to you - you want a bit of a break. With a sling you both get what you want. You can go to the toilet and eat a sarnie and everything! (I remember the days when I went to the loo with a baby strapped to my front most of the time!)

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ilovelovemydog · 12/01/2009 20:17

Sling.

Don't listen to other moms. Really.

Think of it this way: She was totally reliant on you 2 months ago and now she's just on the other side, but still just as reliant...

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StarlightMcKenzie · 12/01/2009 20:19

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morocco · 12/01/2009 20:25

feed feed feed and sling sling sling

all perfectly normal baby behaviour. the more you can relax and go with the flow, the easier it will get.

if you like to sound like you're doing things by the book at baby groups, throw any stupid baby books that don't agree with bf on demand and slings into the bin right now and look up 'attachment parenting' instead.

are you co sleeping and do you bf lying down at night? both are much better for getting more sleep.

check out pouch slings and ring slings - adjustable ones are handy. if you ask round at baby groups, you might find some other mums have some you could borrow. can you go to any playgroups for mums of older babies and toddlers? avoiding first time mum groups might be helpful at this stage if they are all going to smug on about how much their baby sleeps. mums of older babies and mums of more than one are more likely to tell the truth

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