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How do you cope with fears about your child?

(6 Posts)
StefkaSnowAngel Sat 13-Dec-08 12:31:06

I am struggling with overwhelming fears about something awful happening to my DS who is 1. I know all parents have these fears but I think mine are a bit out of proportion. Last night I burst in to tears because I couldn't get the bulger case out of my head and it was making me feel so sick with fear that something awful would happen to DS.

I know logically that the statistics of something terrible happening are low yet I can't seem to get this in my head. The reality is that I am more likly to do damage to him myself through my inability to manage my emotions. Perhaps this is what I am really worried about?

stillenacht Sat 13-Dec-08 12:33:37

I feel the same and my DS's are 5 and 9. I can't get baby P out of my head and James Bulger - i think its totally natural for all mothers to feel like this.

I feel like this as my DS2 has a learning disability and i worry about how vulnerable he is in society.

I am sure we are all the same.

julesrose Mon 15-Dec-08 10:22:45

I think the way I 'cope' most of the time is just not to go there. It would be possible to torture myself with numerous horrendous scenarios but there is absolutely no point to it. You need to know when reasonable anxiety is necessary - near roads, swimming pools, using knives etc and just be sensible but if you are preoccupied with out of proportion fears the risk is you don't pay enough attention to the sensible fears. If you are really stuck with intrusive thoughts and feel it's getting out of control you can see your GP. CBT can often deal with it pretty quickly.
A friend of mine used to be always imagining awful things. For instance the builders who were working on her ds school planting a bomb in the foundations. She let him walk next to the pool with no arm bands though and someone had to scoop him out as he couldn't swim...

cory Mon 15-Dec-08 11:07:16

Agree about CBT. Sometimes you just have to learn to shut damaging thoughts out. I;ve had a few bad things happen concerning my dcs- but they were never the things I'd imagined anyway, so torturing myself with something else would have been totally pointless.

wilkosroastingonanopenfire Mon 15-Dec-08 11:11:53

stefka i often feel the same about my dd who is also 1.

i have to try very hard not to work myself up about it. i didnt read the details about baby p for instance. just couldnt do it.

i get on with it tho by knowing that statistically an extremely bad thing happening to her by someone elses hand is very very VERY unlikely.

i think its just part and parcel of being a mum really.

TreeandMistleJoe Mon 15-Dec-08 14:03:23

the baby p thing really bothered me too. it just really upset me that something like this could happen to anyone. i found myself being ridicullously over protective and gentle with my ds as i was terified i would hurt him by accident and he would be damaged forever! blush i think it's natural for mothers to feel this way, our babies/ children are the most precious thing in the world to us and the thought of anything bad happening to him makes me feel ill. i used to sit up at night just watching the video baby monitor, completely paranoid that if i went to sleep then he would never ever wake up again.

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