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SAHMs with toddlers - tell me about your day!

(15 Posts)
pinotgrigio Wed 23-Mar-05 10:28:11

I'm finishing my contract in a couple of weeks and want do stay at home with DD for as long as possible. I was a SAHM until she was 1, but worked between 1 and 2 years. Now she's 2.4, but I'm out of practise at being a SAHM.

Tell me about your days with your toddler - how do you get the cleaning done/avoid having the tv on all day/drink a cup of tea? How much one on one time do you give them during the day?

At the moment if I have to do something while I'm with DD I feel guilty, because I like to spend all my spare time with her, as I work. I don't want this 'guilt' feeling to carry over when I'm with her all the time, and want to be able to do the cleaning/cooking without plugging her into the TV and feeling guilty. Is this possible? Toddler mums please advise!

iota Wed 23-Mar-05 10:33:17

I kept ds2 in nursery 3 days a week when I became a SAHM - I do chores etc when he's in nursery then Thurs we chill out and go swimming, Friday we go to the toddler gym and meet up with friends for coffee/lunch

MistressMary Wed 23-Mar-05 10:39:57

Day starts when Ds wakes.
Downstairs and on potty , nappy change and then sit in high chair, weetabix.
I make a bottle up and a cuppa.
Telly on for GMTV and DS and I cuddle and have our liquids.
Next his clothes on. Put in play pen with favourite toys. I go upstairs and shower, clean teeth and make bed.
Next cleaning. I have my little helper, he chases the hoover.
Washing up, he has a wooden spoon and saucepan.
Changing the bed he climbs over the bed and we play peek a boo.
Lunch is together, and then we go out everyday to a the park, mums and toddlers, shopping whatever.
Slow cooker used for cooking.
I have a cd with childrens music on and I sing them if he is very unlucky!

If he is quiet I grab the pc and tea when I can.

Just noticed your toddler is older, so prolly not much use to you anyhow.
Good luck though.

debs26 Wed 23-Mar-05 10:40:32

i used to get ds to 'help' with chores. washing up bowl with plastic kids tea set and bubbly water, give him a bundle of socks to put in pairs (just be prepared to re do it when they are in bed). he used to feel so proud that he was helping

Cooperoo Wed 23-Mar-05 11:51:34

My dd is two tomorrow and our day goes like this...
Get up, breakfast incl cup of tea for me. DD loves to watch me get it all ready in the morning and get the milk from the fridge etc and her bib, spoon etc.
She then watches a DVD episode of Fimbles or Bear or something while I have a shower and get ready (this doesn't happen at the weekends as DH is around). Then we get her dressed and pack our bag for the mornig out.
We have a different activity every day (toddlers, musical tots, soft play, friend round etc) and she goes to creche for two hours twice a week during term times. After we have had our morning out (usually including getting some essentials from the shops) we get home have lunch together and she has a nap. I catch up with washing and jobs while she is sleeping and have a cup of tea and jump on here if there is time.
I do the big shop or go to the gym etc while she is in creche usually and she enjoys watching me or trying to help if I am doing any other things (I should add that I have a cleaner but we do live overseas and so it is affordable as our housing is so cheap. This is a real treat obviously and does make a huge difference esp in the summer when it is too hot to do anything).
In the afternoons we might go to the park or make sure we have a good time playing together one on one with her toys, playdough, drawing, painting, having a singsong and reading books together. It is really precious time and I love it. She does play alone too quite happily if I am busy ironing etc.
At half four ish if dh is not home she will watch some TV again while I get on in the kitchen doing dinner. We have tea at 5.30 together and then bath at 6 and book and bed at 7. DH usually does bathtime while I wash up and tidy.
I do 'plug her into the TV' in the morning and afternoon most days, and can't say this is my ideal, but the TV is hardly on at the weekend when DH is around and it is always programmes targetted at her age range and she sings along and dances etc. We have foreign TV here so the TV is usually a DVD so I am able to control it. I won't always put it on in the afternoon if she is playing nicely but usually at this time she is beginning to get a bit more tired and whingy so the TV does help. IME dd loves to copy me and help. I don't like her in the kitchen if the oven is on but often if I am cooking on the hob she will watch me do the veggies etc or pretend with a saucepan and wooden spoon etc. She is now old enough to play with biscuit dough etc so we cook together some afternoons too.
Things are certainly more on my terms than they were with her as a baby, ie I get to drink my tea while it is hot etc.
I really hope you enjoy your time as a SAHM. For me it is wonderful and flexible too. If the weather is good we go off to the beach or waterpark which is great fun for all of us.
HTH. I have found it interesting to write it down too as sometimes I do wonder what we do all day.......

Gobbledigook Wed 23-Mar-05 11:56:26

Er, no to your last question. If you've got 1 dd, there is going to come a point in the day where you need to get on with something and divert your attention away from her. IMO that's not a bad thing and a bit of CBeebies will do her no harm and more than likely teach her lots of interesting things (like where poo goes when you flush it or how fish fingers are made ).

TBH, I'm often out and about with them - ds1 is now coming up to 4 so goes to nursery 5 mornings and ds2 goes with him for 2 mornings. In the afternoons we meet up with various friends at their houses, our house, park, softplay etc. Also take them swimming. Or sometimes we stay in for the afternoon. Sometimes I do stuff with them but other times they play together and I get on with housework or preparing dinner. It's def easier if you have 2 I think so not sure what it would be like with one 2 yr old.

Gobbledigook Wed 23-Mar-05 11:57:38

Oh yes, MM has reminded me that we have music on and dance and sing but I'm afraid we don't have nursery CDs in this house - the current fav CD is Keane

NomDePlume Wed 23-Mar-05 12:04:07

My DD is 2.8. A typical day looks like this...

7.15am - Wake up, shower & dress
7.30am - DD wakes up
8.00am - Breakfast & see DH off to work. Generally I'll emoty the dishwasher etc whilst she's eating at the kitchen table.
8.30am - Play time in lounge with toys, Cbeebies or DVD on low in the background
10.30am - Either we meet up with friends or go out into town or duck feeding, if weather is bad we'll do an indoor crafty thing (cakes, painting, colouring, stickers etc)
12.30 - Lunch
1.00 - DD nap. I'll try to get 30 mins of housework done, and have a bit of MN.
3.00 - Go and collect the DSs from school
4.30- Back home and more playing with toys with cbeebies or a DVD on in the background.
5.00 - Tea time whilst I clear all toys away and make the living room 'adult friendly'
5.30 - Quiet time (no toys) on the sofa with a DVD.
6.15 - Bath time
6.45 - Story in bed.
7pm - Lights out.

NomDePlume Wed 23-Mar-05 12:04:57

DD goes to nursery from 12.30 - 3.15pm on Weds & Thurs.

bensmum3 Wed 23-Mar-05 20:21:25

Is she used to being plugged into the tv ? If not I'm sure you won't have a problem.
Ds is nearly 22 months,
daddy gives him breakfast whilst I have a v.quick bath.
We get big sister and brother ready for school &wave bye bye.
On a Wednesday we go with them as we have toddlers.
He then has a bath,
downstairs, he plays with duplo or train track whilst I clean, If I need to bake he usually empties the cupboards and helps.
He plays with his wheelbarrow in the garden whilst I hang out washing, do gardening,
lunch together
he often has a sleep after lunch, I then try and do some sewing,writing etc
2pm we walk and pick ds up from school
haven't worked out yet how to stop him distracting ds 1 whilst I'm trying to help him with homework, usually resort to food.
He plays with toys and older siblings(they might watch blue peter) whilst I cook supper which we all eat together at 6pm.
bed by 7pm.

I do spend a lot of time talking to him even if I'm doing something other than actually sitting playing.

Lonelymum Wed 23-Mar-05 20:28:40

You don't want to know about my day pinotgrigio. As I sat at the computer, I could hear ds3 playing with the sink in the kitchen - it sounded like he was running some water and I thought oh well, he will get wet, never mind, I can change his clothes later.

When I went in he had:
emptied an entire jar of coffee granules down the sink and spread coffee flavoured water all over the work top, drawers, cupboards, and the floor (which happens to be carpeted - not our idea, it is a rented house)
emptied half a litre of pineapple juice down the sink
removed some icecream from the freezer and had melted it all and was trying to eat what remained with his fingers.

He had fortunately failed to open a litre of orange juice and a large packet of cheese (otherwise he would have put his teeth marks all over it!)

He was soaking wet as expected but with coffee stained water.

It took about half an hour to clear up!

I am sorry to say, that this is by no means unusual. He has certainly done the coffee and juice trick before. I suppose I should spend more time with him but it is hard to be with him 24 hours a day.

lunavix Wed 23-Mar-05 20:32:45

I have a ds (11 months) and I'm having the trouble with filling our days. I suppose I'm a daytime SAHM (work evenings) but as we moved to a new area and I don't drive we don't really know people to meet up with. We do go to a baby group 2 days a week, a baby music group once a week, and swimming once a week. Hopefully we'll settle more and make friends we can see regularly, I think getting out and doing things is the important bit, but then your dd is at a good age for playing, arts and crafts, cooking etc. Mine hates toys and isn't old enough for anything else!

Punnet Wed 23-Mar-05 21:00:11

Bloody chaos!

I do a bit of college but otherwise am 99% sahm. Ds1 is 5, ds2 is 3, ds 3 is 20 months. Got DS1 up after a lot of fighting, fought more to get them both dressed and breakfasted. DS1 to school, ds2 to Montessori, hair cut, ds 3 to childminder, hour at college, ds3 from childminder, dh got ds2, chatted to my 'gay maye play mate' for an hour, got ds1 from school, phone rang agbout ccraft club, made tea (dh building some electronic thing so no help today), checked UCAS to see if tutor could be bothered to sign off application yet (not- I think I will miss my place because of this, stressed a bit, helped ds 1 and 2 make Easter cards for their classes, ate tea, finished easter bonnet, dh off to work, ds 1 and 2 refusing to sleep but in rooms, ds3 running awol as usual.

Sound like chaos? This is the norm.


Cooperoo Thu 24-Mar-05 16:57:49

I should say that the groups we go to are as much for my sanity as for dd's benefit, if not more so! I need the adult company and to leave the house too or I would go mad. It is impossible to be with them 24 hrs lonelymum. I love the stairgates I have on the kitchen and front room to restrict dd's movements. (We live in a bungalow so don't need them for stairs).
I hope you meet some people soon Lunavix. We have to move a lot with DH's job and it can be incredibly lonely to start with. This has ben my first move with dd and I have actually found it easier to meet people through her this time round.

lailag Thu 24-Mar-05 17:40:26

lonelymum, had a good laugh at that! (SORRY, it is just so recognisable)
I often don't know whether to be happy when they are quite or to be worried and to check them out and perhaps disturb them...

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