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Parenting

Anyone gone for years wanting a particular gender child?

14 replies

MrsSnape · 30/11/2008 21:24

After I had DS2 me and his dad decided we'd like to try for a girl. 2 years later we split up. I was about 23 at the time.

I've gone on wanting a girl ever since. Everytime I go in the clothes shops I find myself looking at the girl's clothes more than the boys...same when looking through the catalogue.

On Friday night we were out at a presentation where there were lots of teenage girls and it started coming back to me again about how much I'd love a daughter.

I know its daft, its been years now and its looking unlikely that I'll have anymore kids now (I'm almost 28 and still single) so I may as well just give up on the idea but I can't help feeling that I'm missing out somehow. I know I'm lucky to have kids at all, just wondered if anyone else has ever felt like this?

OP posts:

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BarcodeZebra · 30/11/2008 21:29

Pull yourself together. Of course it's not unlikely that you'll ever have any more kids. DW was 34 when our first was born and 36 when number two came along. At 28 you're practically still a baby. As for me I was 41 when the first one arrived.

And, anyway, Sons, Daughters. Who cares as long as you've got healthy children?

You sound very down. Sorry you feel that way.

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Pinkchampagne · 30/11/2008 21:34

28 is really young! I had my first DS at 27 & felt far too young at the time! (I know I wasn't, but I felt it!), my second DS was born when I was 30. I separated from my ex when I was 34 & met my very lovely new DP just before I was 35. Not sure I will have more children, but won't rule it out (not because I crave a girl though.) Don't feel I am too old though, so you are definitely not!

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simpson · 30/11/2008 21:42

I agree 28 is young

I had my first DC at 33 and my 2nd at 35.

Agree with barcode Zebra. Sorry you feel down.

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southeastastra · 30/11/2008 21:44

i sometimes wish i'd had a girl, i think it's because my lovely 6 year old neice always helps me hang out the washing

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Gateau · 01/12/2008 15:09

You don't have to have a daughter for that, southeast. My DS loves sorting the laundry and "helps" me hang the washing out too. he's only 19 months, though, so I'm sure that will change.
People who whinge on about wanting a particular sex when they already have healthy child/ren annoy me, TBH. They should be grateful with what they have,
Two women I know who already had a girl each said they ONLY wanted girls - how dare they? And they both ended up with a boy. They backtracked pretty quickly, saying they had always wanted a boy. Pathetic.

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LoolaBoys · 03/12/2008 10:30

Why do people have such a thing against boys, and are so desperate for girls. Boys are great. THey are also so much simpler with their relationships with their friends etc. It really annoys me when people are like this. What is so great about girls? I have two nieces who are lovely but I am not bothered about having a girl at all.

Mum of 2 boys

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mindalina · 03/12/2008 10:44

Don't think the OP has anything against boys, given she has two of her own

TBH I'm glad I got a boy, and the fear of having a girl puts me off having more children, because I was an absolute nightmare of a teenager, and I just know any daughter of mine will be ten times worse - stupid karma I don't really know what you could do to feel better, except maybe borrow a teenage girl for a few hours to put you off the whole idea?

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ChocFudgeCake · 03/12/2008 21:14

I always thought I would have a girl (since I was a little girl). I did have a baby girl but she died. I have now two boys and HEY! Boys are great! When I was pregnant with the second boy everyone would tell me they hoped it was a girl It is not nice. Then they had to pretend they were happy with the boy.
After my experience of losing my first baby, whatever comes is great. I had 2 m/c as well, so I just want a healthy baby. Also I believe that God sends what he wants, I'm happy to receive!

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ChocFudgeCake · 03/12/2008 21:22

Sorry, MrsSnape. I went on with my own thing and didn't really answer you. I still have to confess that I DO feel some weakness when I see girls clothes or little girls.

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wideratthehips · 03/12/2008 21:23

people enjoy fantisising about the children they may have. when i was pregnant with ds1 i was convinced he was a girl. when pregnant with ds2 i desperately hoped he was a boy..hurrah! now preg. with dc3 i am 51% hoping its another boy they are just so wonderful. for some reason i have now in my head (wrongly i know) that little girls are hard work and little boys are straight forward.

ds1 arrived when i was 28...you never know what is arround the corner. one very good friend has just had dc3 at 41 and another is pregnant with dc3 at 39.

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katiek123 · 03/12/2008 23:00

wider - not wrongly at all in my experience - i have one of each and would never have a third bcs of how hard work my little girl has been!!! adore her though i absolutely do !

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NotanOtter · 03/12/2008 23:04

a lot of folk said they hoped i would have girl when pg with ds5!!!

he is the light of my life!!

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stillstanding · 03/12/2008 23:05

I have a DS who I love to bits and wouldnt swop for the world but I would quite like to have a daughter. Someone on MN once said " a son is your son until he meets his wife but a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life" and that really rings true for me. Obviously tho that is not rational and my world wouldnt fall apart if I only had sons but I do kinda have this hope for a DD. Totally understand where the OP is coming from but YOU ARE ONLY 28 fgs! Plenty of time!!!