Do you let your almost 8 year old go to the shop with a friend

[crazyashell]

I suspect that most of you will say this is prefectly okay but still I am struggling on how much freedom and independance to give my almost 8 yo ds.
He regularly plays out with a group of friends and one of the gang a 9 yo girl goes to the sweet shop which involves crossing two quiet roads and one relatively busy main road.
This girls mom lets her go but only with someone else.
Would you deem it acceptable to let my ds go with this girl its not that far just round the block but with this one fairly busy main road to cross not extremely busy but busy enough.
I am not sure of my ds's common sense on this and he has only recently started to play out as well in the street so he is not a child who has been playing out on the street for ages and taking walks down to the shop and to a pillar box.
I feel that maybe I should give him more time.
What do other mumsnetters think about this.

[TequilaMockinBird]

I would let him, as long as there's a crossing on the busy road and he knows to use it.

[crazyashell]

I have never noticed one tbh I don,t think there is one.

[TequilaMockinBird]

Could you not go with them the first time? Maybe walk a few metres behind but so that they are still in sight?

It may make you feel a bit better.

If there's no crossing on the road then I suppose it would all depend on how busy it is and how sensible the DC are.

[crazyashell]

Yes I will try that.
I am a born worrier on this sort of thing.
However I do think that this sort of thing helps children to become more confident and streetwise in the long run so I don,t want to be holding him back on that score.

[Jux]

At first I shadowed dd without her knowing. Once I was satisfied that she was OK and sensible, then I stopped.

[TequilaMockinBird]

IKWYM, I'm the same when it comes to my DD and shes now 11!

I agree though, I think it does make them more confident and streetwise.

My DD has been going to the shop alone for a couple of years now but then there aren't any roads to cross here.

You'll look back on this in a couple of months and wonder what you were worrying about

[snowcrystal]

I seem to be going against the trend here but I think the 9 yr old is too young to be responsible for him so you have to think would he be ok alone .If the answer is no I would wait until he is nearly nine which is a more usual age to start this imo.

[bigTillyMint]

I agree Snowcrystal - if you would feel OK if he went on his own....

Plus, how sensible is the girl - if they are chatting and not concentrating on the road...

Also, if you do decide that he would be OK, you need to be really clear about under what circumstances he is allowed to go - ie does he have to ask you first, or is he allowed to just go if she invites him?

[jellybelly25]

Agree with snowcrystal, My dd is 9 and I don't let her go to the shop alone unless we have parked somewhere very nearby and I send her but can see her go in. I wouldn't let her cross roads alone, and particularly when in charge of another child, I love her dearly but in truth she's in the clouds most of the time and would either stand there all afternoon waiting for cars to stop or would march out in the middle of a conversation and get them both run over.

I do think there is an advantage to being independent and streetwise but I don't think there's a major rush for that as long as it's sorted before secondary school when they have to travel alone etc.

So the answer is, no I don't think I would if I were you, given that your son is not even 8 yet.

[ChopsTheDuck]

no, not with a busy road. dd is 8.5, she got hit by a van last year. They can so easily forget to look, especially if distracted by chatting.

My dd is allowed down to the shop, but there are no roads to cross at all. I just still don't trust her with roads.

[OrmIrian]

Yes. I did regularly.

[stressedsanta]

my ds is ten and has never asked to go to shop without me so im not sure what my answer would be ?