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Would you be put out by a comment like this off your mom

(10 Posts)
crazedupmom Sun 02-Nov-08 12:24:34

My mom has always been a bit of a nag about this and that including my weight, diet, how I spend my money etc.
Herself and other members of my family inclding my 2 year old niece are planning on going to a local fair and light show tonight it is mainly aimed at children.
I wanted to go along with my 7 year old ds but unfortunately I am at work.
I know my ds would like to go and so I mentioned to my mom that it would be nice if they could take my ds with them and I was met with a barrage of no we will not you should not put on people like that I presume she meant offloading my ds onto them.
She said I am always spending money on taking my ds out here and there.
I said to her how cruel and she snapped back no it isn,t cruel.
I honestly feel totally knarked with her especially as its her grandchild and I never ask anybody to take my ds out ever.
As it is I believe that the family are planning on going to this event including my mom but I have not said anything else on the matter.
Am I right to feel annoyed.

crazedupmom Sun 02-Nov-08 13:00:04


Flightattendant4 Sun 02-Nov-08 13:04:51

She sounds like she is playing games with you, being mean for no reason or to make a point. I feel for you, it's horrid when your own mum behaves like this sad

Boco Sun 02-Nov-08 13:04:59

It sounds like she's hurt your feelings and I'm not surprised you're a bit upset by it. Maybe it's something you need to sit down and talk to her about when she's in a better mood.

crazedupmom Sun 02-Nov-08 13:11:04

She has always wound people up in the family mainly myself and my siblings my sister can,t spend too long around her as she winds her up.

MariaVonnTrapp Sun 02-Nov-08 18:50:32

Sounds a bit like both my parents! I haven't got kids of my own, but i'm 40 now and they still have a go about my weight etc

Majeika Sun 02-Nov-08 18:51:49

could no one else take him?

hecate Sun 02-Nov-08 19:00:37

Well, it's not nice of her and very hurtful. Logically, you have no right to expect that someone will take your child anywhere. She doesn't have to, and you have to accept that she doesn't want to. She has that right.

Making comments that hurt you is unacceptable. But, since you cannot force someone to behave how you want them to, you are left with only your own behaviour. How are you going to handle this?

Why is she in your life? What positives does she bring? Why do you want a relationship with her? How can you deal with her from now on? You need to look at yourself and your responses, not at her, if you are to deal with all this. iyswim.

Kewcumber Sun 02-Nov-08 19:08:06

agree with hecate, but if this is the way she is sheisn;tgoingto change I'm afraid. If you are going to continue to have contact with her then you need to develop a thicker skin abd just expect her to be unaccomodating.

Sorry but sometiems parents aren;t always the way you want them to be (speaking from experience of a fantastic mother and crapfatehr here).

You can't change her attitude only your's and forget waiting for any kind of approval from her (which I sense is whats tied up in your felling about her comments about what you spend and what you eat)

ALMummy Sun 02-Nov-08 19:23:32

My parents were like this. Seemed to go out of their way to make sure that I knew there was nothing special about my kids. I cut contact in the end because I couldnt stand to see my kids treated the way I had always been. After a year or so they got back in touch and have been doting grandparents ever since. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You have to mean it though. Tbh I had had enough of them and felt happier without them in my life and I think they sensed that.

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