ARRGGHHH. DS didn't want to go to toy library to take toys back which were due so I said he could come or I would ask a babysitter to mind him (which I knew he would balk at) so he came but stayed in the car. There was a fair accross the road which I wanted to go to and ds said yes but when we got to crossing the road he decided he didnt want to go (my mistake no. 1), I said just lets look and leave if it's no good"
Over at the fair he wants a sausage so get one and then he wants to go home (my mistake no. 2, I say I want a quick look shall we start at the toys. Ds moans and cries on the way to the toys and then says he wants a puzzle, I get down to his level and talk to him about crying and whining and that I don't buy him things if he does this. Starts yelling. So I say ok then we will leave and walk off with a hollering ds behind me. Get to the road and ds won't hold my hand so pick him up while he whallops me (getting pretty cross by now) He loses a shoe so I put him down to get it, now in a busy carpark, he starts to run off and (mistake no. 3) I shout because it gives me a fright. I pick him up again and physically insert him into the car (I have to admit to dumping and slamming at this stage) He immediately opens door again so I shut it again and stand against it so he goes to other side of car and tries to get out that way so I put him into carseat and physically force the straps on and start to drive of whereby he opens the door while I am driving. Get out and put lock on and spend rest of drive home threatening all sorts, shouting and generally saying that I have had enough of this behaviour etc, etc. He went straight to his room when we got home and when I went down to talk to him he told me to go away....I hate this so much. I used to be a nice person. I got to age 3 withoout ever shouting at him. The last year has just gone down hill and I am finding it harder and harder to deal with the constant tantrums. Before you all say it I have tried the whole How to talk to kids and he hates it, I have tried ignoring when I can...it escalates, I have tried rewarding the good...makes no difference, he just demands rewards which then turns into a tantrum if he doesn't get one etc. Anyway not sure I want advice or anything just needed to vent and write it down, get it out. I hate who I am as a mum...I have to try harder. Am crap.
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just had the most crap time with ds and lost it big time and it was my fault to start with
10 replies
justgotbfp · 31/10/2008 21:47
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