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If you are at home with the kids do you feel that your dp/dh takes your role seriously?

(9 Posts)

Just wanted to know if i'm the only one that feels ignored when I'm at home.

I've been on maternity leave since the spring and am now getting ready to go back to work part time. Over the last few months I've begun to feel frustrated that dh takes me listening to him for granted. His conversations take priority over tea and obviously the kids chip in a lot as well. Then if he goes out in the evening I have no opportunity to talk about my day. Even if I crowbar it into a conversation I often only get a monosyllabic answer.

I have to say in many other ways he makes me feel great and is generally a very considerate person. I tried to talk to him about this this morning and it quickly descended into a juvenile row...

We seem to have got into this pattern and I'm feeling a bit ignored. Anyone else feel like this or do you have it sussed, does your dh make you feel valued.

needmorecoffee Fri 31-Oct-08 09:33:45

he wouldn't dare not too grin

travellingwilbury Fri 31-Oct-08 09:34:58

My oh is pretty good , but that might be becuase I work sat and sun morning so he gets the chance to experience the joy of being on his own with his two boys then .
I think before we had children he had a different attitude about it and would very often wind up SILs about sitting at home drinking coffee and watching tv all day (much to their annoyance ) He was being sarky but probably a wee bit to much .

Does he ever get to look after them by himself ?

Does your dh do this naturally or have you talked to him about it? Sounds like you have it sussed NMC.

nope, I don't think he sees it as a job.
I told him in a non-argumentive way the other night that it would cost £20,000 before tax to get a nanny to do what i do (ie be able to take dcs to afterschool sports and have friends over to play etc and be around all holidays) and that made him blanch a bit but generally no, he doesn't rate it in the same way he would rate the work I do.

filz Fri 31-Oct-08 09:39:00

yes because he has to have them at the weekend whilst i work

Funnily enough he had the kids yesterday and when I got home I realised that yet again his conversations about his day took priority over mine. It made me realise that I rarely talk about my day with the kids half as much as he did yesterday.
I think yesterday he did realise that staying at home with the kids is hard work.

Thinking about it I think its a mixture of him not realising what its like being at home with the kids, and him taking for granted that I will listen to him and him not doing the same in return.

cory Fri 31-Oct-08 21:18:12

We took it in turns to stay at home when dd was little- so he has never fallen into the trap of underestimating what I do wink

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