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having a really crappy day - sorry, long moan

(6 Posts)
kazbeth Thu 30-Oct-08 18:59:25

Today has just been the crappiest days although I know that I'm extremely lucky in that I have a beautiful little 2 year old and am currently pregnant with my second.

I'm 32 weeks and suffering badly with spd and having to use crutches a lot of the time.
Today I had no car so was pretty much house bound as I can't walk anywhere. I'm struggling to sit on the floor and play with my daughter, I'm fed up of bending down and picking things up off the floor which makes the spd worse and I'm ashamed to say I snapped at my daughter this morning and shouted at her because she wouldn't put her clothes on (was trying to hang laundry on the line and she wanted to come out with me so had to wear something).

I think she's really missing out on a proper mummy at the moment and I'm letting her down. She's had to put up with me being ill through 3 pregnancies with morning sickness, 2 miscarriages and now this spd.

I don't have anyone who can look after her at all as family live too far away so it's just down to me in the day.

Because I'm in pain a lot of the night
I'm not sleeping that well so am permenantly tired and I know the lack of sleep is only going to get worse when the baby comes as well. I'm really worried I'm just not going to cope if I'm struggling to cope now. I can't help thinking that despite the struggle to get this far with the pregnancy, that perhaps we've made a mistake in doing so and our daughter is suffering because of it. Is this just a bad 'one of those days' day? Am I the only one who thinks like this?

How can I stop being such a crap mother and do something with her tomorrow? If you had spd with a toddler how did you cope and what did you do to entertain them?

Thanks for reading and apologies for the long moan.

Jazzicatz Thu 30-Oct-08 19:03:43

I was in a similar situation as you with my two. Tbh looking back I would do as little as possible and encourage your dd to play but without your constant interaction. My ds does not remember a time before his brother came along so for the sake of 8 weeks I am sure she can cope. Also once the new baby is with you she will have to get used to spending some of her day without your total attention as you will have a new baby to deal with.

kazbeth Thu 30-Oct-08 19:24:21

Thanks Jazzicatz. I struggle to get her to play on her own. She's fine when we're at toddler group but at home she gets clingy and wants me to play with her and strops if I won't.

MrsMattie Thu 30-Oct-08 19:33:59

Ah, I really sympathise with you@kazbeth sad

I have SPD, too (am 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd; I have a 3 yr old son). I'm lucky in that I have a lot of help from my mum, who lives locally, and my SPD hasn't been as bad with this pregnancy as it was last time (touch wood!) - so not quite as difficult for me as for you - but - I do relate with you, especially with feeling like a crappy mum when you can't go very far and can't get down and play with your child sad

I think you have to be realistic about what you physically can and can't do, and then make a massive effort NOT to beat yourself about it. My son is watching a lot more CBeebies than he normally would. I also put kid's story CDs / music on a lot for him, and have got my DH to bring down lots more of DS's toys to the livjng room so he can run riot (the house is a tip at the moment, but hey ho...). I also think up things I can do with my son sitting down (making fairy cakes from a packet mix / going on to the CBeebies website on my laptop /jigsaws / colouring in / finger puppets etc).

It is really hard, and I also worry about how I will cope once the baby is here, as just being pregnant with a toddler is such hard work (!)...but I think this is perfectly normal. Please don't be too hard on yourself. xxx

Have you go anyone at all you can invite round for the odd afternoon to break up the day a bit?

kazbeth Sat 01-Nov-08 10:19:02

Thanks MrsMattie and sorry to hear you're going through the same thing.

We don't have cbeebies or anything so think I might have to ring up next week to get our aerial sorted out. We have a couple of dvds but think she's a bit bored with those. I hadn't thought of looking on the internet for stuff or the cbeebies website so will check that out too.

Here's hoping that our spd goes after the birth!

Chaotica Sat 01-Nov-08 17:51:10

Didn't have spd, but did have a high risk last trimester (and back problems) with 16m DD in tow. It was hard for both of us at the time, but much much easier once the baby arrived. (I know not everyone agrees, but I think it's easier to have a baby than be pregnant and look after a toddler.) CBeebies is a bit of a life-saver though. As are activities like drawing and reading which you can do sitting down.

Good luck - I'm sure your dd won't remember the next 8 weeks.

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