Anybody else actively dislike their child when they are sick

[justgotbfp]

I bandied around with how to title this but in reality he is hell to live with right now.
I get that he is poorly
I get that he is in pain but it is gruelling
He is stroppy, grumpy, hits and kicks out, shouts, whines, cries all day long.
Nothing helps...I can't get medicine in him at the moment but he will be spoon fed crushed ice but I am giving him pieces too big or too little or too fast or too slow or he is too sick to sit up and whallop I spilt some on his chest. Argghhh tis horrible, horrible, horrible. btw he is 4

[compo]

that sounds really hard on you
do you have any help? any grandparents, partner who could take some time off work, just to give you an hour on your own in the fresh air?
hope he gets better soon, what has he got?

[justgotbfp]

nope compo no help at the moment. He has hand, foot and mouth. Was up every 40 minutes last night. He does not make a good patient, he is on my knee on rocking chair finally asleep again for a bit.

[kitbit]

Can you bundle him up in a buggy and take him out for a walk? If he has excess energy that needs burning off maybe find a park or place with noone around and let him run about for a bit? Or into the car and at least out of the house for a while?
Sorry I don't know what the symptoms of HF&M are, don't know if he even could get up and go out, but it might change the scenery for a bit and wear him out. ds (also 4) tends to get very grumpy even when he's ill and can't be running around, simply because he feels caged, I think.
sympathies x

[justgotbfp]

No energy but went for a drive today. I feel so mean but he is just so fractuous and am exhausted. He is not just grumpy but gets physical when he is ill. Mostly just want to make sure other people felt like this when it gets this hard.

[kitbit]

oh I see In that case you definitely have permission to feel any way you want without guilt - feelings are a way of letting the stresses come out. As long as you're not passing it on to your ds and it sounds as though you're doing a great job of not doing so, it's OK to feel like that. More to the point, I'm guessing it's not your ds you don't like, you just don't like how he is at the moment and there's a huge difference.

My ds has a cough, it's a really really minor thing by comparison but we were up 4 times in the night with it, him sitting on my lap hacking and coughing and me trying to calm him with stories, drinks, songs, ANYTHING. By 6am I was at the end of my tether and this morning I am grouchy as hell so yes I do completely understand where you're coming from

[justgotbfp]

thanks kitbit you are right easy to lose sight of but of course it is how he is that I don't like not him himself. I feel like I have gone back to newborn days rocking a screaming, fractuous child on my knee only difference being this one can yell at me with "Im not comfortable" "I want medicine" "GO away, I cant have it, my mouth is too sore" etc, etc. It is now 3 days and 2 nights. Entering night 3 now, give me strength,

[ceebee74]

You have my utmost sympathies. I feel the same about my DS when he is poorly as nothing is 'right' with him and after about half an hour, it really starts to grate on me (he is an absolute delight for most of the rest of the time!). Also, I am not the most sympathetic person when people are ill as DH would tell you

DS had HF&M disease about 2 months ago and was a nightmare for about a day (it does pass quickly) - the worst part is that the one thing that would comfort him and stop his whinging (his dummy) was the one thing we couldn't use as his mouth was too sore for him to suck on it (he is 2.4 btw).

Hope he feels better soon

[kitbit]

hang in there!!! At least you know it's down to the illness and will pass, it isn't a behavioural thing you need to work on! Small comfort I know, but might help!

[cory]

Have done a lot of this as dd has permanent health problems and it does mean we get on each other's nerves. Gets easier as they get older though.