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does anyone understand, overparanoid mommy, please help me

(8 Posts)
justamom Tue 08-Mar-05 00:43:07

well here it is.......i have a child that has been ill since birth..well he is now 21 months and i believe that we have a few developemental problems. nothing major but a few that really stick out to ME.
well i don't know if they are really problems or me just looking for a way to "protect and mommy" the sick baby....
my husband says there is nothing wrong but is never here...but for instance...i asked my 21 month old to bring me a ball "soccer ball" that was behind him.
he looked around grabed the baby chair and brought it to husband says that this is normal but all the milestone stuff says no. and i know other lots younger children that can do don't get me wrong he will do lots of things when asked, but when i get a lil secure he does something like he did today.. he is supposed to be evaluated tomorrow but my husband said that i am a quack......geez does anyone outthere understand.......

tiredemma Tue 08-Mar-05 07:52:06

i have a 21 mth old and he gets confused with things sometimes, its normal- they are not expected to know everything.
who says that a 21mth old "should" know certain things? a book? throw the book away and relax.
everyone wants thier child to be able to do things by a certain age, but each child reaches milestones at different times.
stop worrying x

Mud Tue 08-Mar-05 07:58:36

what developmental book says its normal that a baby will 'bring a ball' when asked?

I seriously think you need to get rid of that book

babies find it difficult to de-construct sentences so he may understand 'ball' or 'bring' even but 'bring a ball' that's a big leap

your child sounds perfectly NORMAL and I would NOT worry about it, over the next 6 months to a year you are going to see huge leaps in understanding and abilities

I think you are being paranoid .. but I also think that comes with motherhood, it is your job to worry and fret. However if you could manage to worry less and enjoy more you may have much more fun

good luck .. and chuck out that stupid book

Mud Tue 08-Mar-05 07:59:25

who on earth is 'evalutaing' him btw?

bubbly1973 Tue 08-Mar-05 08:02:36

please dont try to compare what other children that age are doing to your own. im sure there is nothing to worry about

have you suffered at all with postnatal depression? my health visitor asked me this when she could see i let a lot of little things play on my mind with regards to my ds, i never had postnatal depression i dont think!!

please please please enjoy this precious time that you have with your beautiful child!! they are growing so so fast and sometimes worrying too much can hinder the enjoyment of watching them growing up

maybe it is a good thing he is getting evaluated tomorrow as this might put your mind at ease

bubbly1973 Tue 08-Mar-05 08:04:14

mud, cross posts.. i assumed evaluating is a bit like the check ups in britain that we get at certain months to see how they are developing...maybe im wrong

bubbly1973 Tue 08-Mar-05 08:05:30

oh bloomin heck! i really shouldnt post first thing in the morning,

your not asking what it is, your asking who is doing it doh


flamesparrow Tue 08-Mar-05 08:17:02

B is 21 months, and can be stood holding the bloody ball, and will still put it down and get me a doll instead if I ask her to bring it to me!

Yes, some are capabable of things like that - if they have older siblings then they seem to do those type of things earlier than others.

I gave up looking at the books for when she was meant to do what a long time ago - I realised that she'll do things when she's good and ready, and not before regardless of how many times I show her the book! She is further ahead "for her age" in some things, but behind in others. If she's desperately behind by the time she reaches school age, or even playschool age then maybe I would consider checking it out, but they seem to all balance out by themselves by then.

You get the kids walking at 9 months, and then those who don't make any attempts until they are 2 - but by the time they get to school they are all running round the playground the same .

I think probably where he was poorly when he was tiny, you are probably more worried than most that something lasting could be wrong (I think we all worry to some extent). Just enjoy your little man, and get excited over everything he does - he brought you the chair, so you know he understands "bring"... baby steps, and he will get there.


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