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Can i ask you to tell me what you would do in these situations please.

(12 Posts)
CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:07:43

If i give you some situation where a child is being naughty, can you tell me how you would rwact if it were your child?

I am not posting this to start a war of Mumsnet however entertaining they can be, i am just at the point where i sometimes think the way i discaplin my children is not working.

4 yr old boy.

(Rule in our house NO CLIMBING ON FURNITURE)

DS 'mummy watch meeeeeeeee'
He then waits untill i turn around before climbing up in the dinner table. Then says, 'pout me in time out now mummy, im naughty.'

2yr old boy

Tugging at trousers 'MUUUUMMMMYYY UP NOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW'

The boys get one warning then time out, i feel this is not working even thought it has been done constistently for ages now.

They are both angel when alon but really hard work when together. any tips?

SmallShips Mon 20-Oct-08 10:11:55

I would ignore the 4 year old and hope he gets bored if he doesnt get the attention he wants.

Whats the problem with your 2 year old, i dont really understand? Is it continuous, just wanting to be held?

CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:13:36

Sorry i should have explained the 2yr old one.

It the screaming voice and the 'NOW' part im not happy about. smile

Tidgypuds Mon 20-Oct-08 10:16:52

4 year old - get him down and say if you do that agin there will be no, treat/pudding/TV then carry though. He obviously doesnt find the time out a punishment.

2 year old - say at his level, please dont scream at mummy when you say nicely, up please, I will pick you up.

CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:23:07

Yes i think i may have to start removing treats, i find it har though as they both tend to have combined treats i.e tv time, visits to the park, i feel if i take it away from ds1 then ds2 is going to miss out to.

notyummy Mon 20-Oct-08 10:24:29

Agree with Tidgy...timeout doesn't work with my 2 year old (she strops off there herself and seems to like sitting there singing...) so we use the threat of withdrawal of favourite toy/DVD.

At the moment we 'can't hear' dd (2.3) when she shouts at us. Only when she asks, with appropriate please attached.

CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:26:22

DS2 is very hard to 'not hear' he climbs up my legs and starts throwing things. sad

notyummy Mon 20-Oct-08 10:28:10

I see...sounds bad. I still think not giving him attention/reaction is the way forward though. Can you put him somewhere with nothing to throw, and ask him to come and find you when he is ready to talk nicely?

CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:30:52

Well our kitchen is completley out of bound to the kids there is a perminate stair gate up so maybe i could remove myself from him rather that the other way round?

notyummy Mon 20-Oct-08 10:39:49

That sounds like a possibility. I know it is tough when they are getting themselves all worked up (and obviously I don't do it if dd has hurt herself), but we have really found recently that she she calms down a lot quicker because she knows we wont engage with her when she shouts hysterically. She still does it sometimes and it doesn't look like she is listening to me when I tell her that I can't hear what she is saying, and only understand when she talks nicely, but actually she calms down fairly quickly and comes to find me all snotty and hiccuppy and asks nicely.

PS: Did involve having to be hard mummy/daddy at the beginning and put up with some screaming...

CharleeInChains Mon 20-Oct-08 10:42:05

I will give it ago, tbh ds2 isn't really to much of a challenge its ds1 he has hit 4 and turned into the ultimate rebel!

notyummy Mon 20-Oct-08 10:44:43

Ah...we only have toddler stuff to deal with! Can't therefore pretend to be an expert with 4 year olds. My best friends tried the supernanny 'toy removal and place in a clear box' technique with her 4 year old, coupled with a sticker chart for earning treats (so it wasn't all stick and no carrot!) and she said it worked well (most of the time...)

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