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Does it cause problems if your DCs were born on the same day or very close?

(45 Posts)
alittleteapot Sun 19-Oct-08 20:48:05

Just wondered if it accentuated sibling rivalry and how you dealt with it and made it into a positive.

FangolinaJolly Sun 19-Oct-08 20:53:00

Mine are 2 and 4,their birthdays are 2 days apart.In some ways this is good,as I do joint celebration.DD has sn so doesn't really understand about birthdays though.Not much help am i?

alittleteapot Sun 19-Oct-08 20:57:16

isn't the joint celebration thing what annoys some people - that they don't get their own day? like when people have birthdays close to christmas? obviously i guess you just work round it...

DevilishDisasterArea Sun 19-Oct-08 21:02:31

even if only 2 days apart never ever think it is a good idea to do a joint birthday party. the younger one will always think the older ones are taking over everything. the older one will always shout louder and get more of everything (or will seem so toyounger one)

make it absolutely special for each child.

do individual things ofr both of them.

apart from that will be fine. have learnt from personal experience the DDs are 3 weeks apart and will never have to share parties.

MadamDeathstare Mon 20-Oct-08 03:33:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Mon 20-Oct-08 03:43:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wallace Mon 20-Oct-08 06:29:11

My little brother was born the day before my big brother's 6th birthday which meant my mum couldn't be there, and to be honest he was a bit resentful!

Made even worse when my little brother had an accident on his birthday and was in hospital hundreds of miles away so my mum couldn't be there for my older brother's 11th birthday. He didn't forget that one in a hurry!

meandmyjoe Mon 20-Oct-08 06:53:30

My next door neighbour's children have the same birthday. One is 17 now, the other is 21. They hated it as young kids but love it now as it means they only have to do the big family get together once a year! I don't think it's too much of an issue to be honest, just the same as twins and they have to just get on with it!

poltergeist Mon 20-Oct-08 06:57:24

Have name changed in a veiled attempt to disguise myself wink. I may need to delete this post later though if I feel it is too much info.
My sister was born on my brother's 1st birthday and my other brother's birthday is very close to theirs. Obviously the birth dates can't be helped but I believe my sister has never forgiven my parents for it. The joint birthday parties was the biggest issue. My sister NEVER ever got her own party. Her 17th went unnoticed because it was our brother's 18th, her 20th went unnoticed (in her eyes anyway) because it was his 21st.
She is 42 now and still has issues with it (and the existence of my brothers hmm)
Please make sure you have SEPARATE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS for your children if you don't want a lifetime of issues.

ummadam Mon 20-Oct-08 09:08:25

I think it depends on the child - my brother and I are 2 days apart, some years did joint parties some separate it didn't really matter much until we were teenagers and we didn't have parties as such then anyway.

TheMoistWorldOfSquelchedBrains Mon 20-Oct-08 09:18:31

DDs half sister (her dad re-married after we split) was born on her 4th birthday - bizarre coincidence!

They are now 6 & 2. They've never done a shared party, as she prefers to be here, with me & her friends, on her birthday, and obviously half-sister's mum & dad want her there with them. However, and particularly given that the 2 girls don't live together, I do hope that as they get older, the shared birthday will be something that bonds them. I rather like the idea of them going out on the town together grin

Sory that doesn't answer your question though!

NotQuiteCockney Mon 20-Oct-08 09:25:03

My two are two days apart, I still do joint parties. They were 4 and 7 at their last birthday. (They do get separate gifts, and separate birthday teas, and so on.)

I think we're close to doing separate parties, maybe - I'll follow their lead. Up until now, we've had a giant birthday party for them both, at home, inviting the whole class etc etc.

Hassled Mon 20-Oct-08 09:27:56

DD's birthday is the day before DS1's (2 years gap) and DS1's is the same day as their father. It means their father effectively hasn't had a proper birthday since he was 25, but we've always made sure DS1 and DD have separate birthday meals out/parties etc. Only downside is financial in terms of presents etc. coming close together - DS2 is 2 weeks before the older ones, and DS3 2 weeks before that.

christywhisty Mon 20-Oct-08 09:35:56

My birthday is 11th, DS is 13th and DD 18th of the same month with 2 years between dcs.

When up until ds was 5 they had joint parties, after that seperate. I have often postponed DS's party for a couple of months He is more than happy with that as it is almost like having a second birthday.

We never really had a problem with sibling rivalry over birthdays at all, as long as you are fair with presents I don't see why there should be a problem.

VASTlargeginandbloodymary Mon 20-Oct-08 09:40:27

The twins cope just fine, in fact they like sharing a birthday and party. They often pool their birthday money to buy a big present too.

I have 2 birthdays close together in July too, no issues. Sometimes they share a party sometimes not.

I think it only becomes an issue if you make it in to one. If they get older and are fed up with sharing we will stop doing it. The twins are 10 and the 2 that share July are 6 and 8.

TskullsScreaming Mon 20-Oct-08 09:41:18

I have twins and then another dd whose birthday is only 3 weeks later.

It gets blooming expensive, but everyone has their own cake, presents, cards etc.

The only shared part is for dt's who have always had a joint party but with plenty of say in which individual and joint friends they want to invite and where the party will be etc. They have quite a discussion about this and agree between themselves.

They are in separate classes too so the list of friends to invite is quite extensive. We always sing happy birthday to them individually too.

No sooner have we recovered from that then it's older dd's and off we go again.

From my pov (and sanitywink)I wish it was all more spread out.

I wish it could be scaled down and involve less friends. But I have to remind myself that it's not their fault their birthdays are all close or on the same day and I go to great lengths to make them all feel as though they have had their 'own' birthday and that it's not just all lumped together.

I would hate them to look back and not think their own birthday was an individual occasion even though they all happen to be close in the year.

alittleteapot Mon 20-Oct-08 11:13:50

Not an issue yet but we've been trying for dc2 and i've managed to get myself in a bit of a panic that it would be really bad timing this month as would mean would be due dd's bday - didn't occur to me before... obviously probably just projecting all sorts of other stuff onto this one thing and don't even know if i am anyway!

alittleteapot Mon 20-Oct-08 11:18:18

thanks everyone, reassuring if we are in this boat. will let you know! funny the things you choose to worry about, isn't it.

covenhope Mon 20-Oct-08 22:31:14

My brother was born the day before my second birthday. I always thought it was very unfair that I was the eldest but his birthday was first. We had joint parties until I was 10 then after that we couldn't have any more because mum couldn't cope with his friends. hmm

DC3 was due 3 days after DS1's 2nd birthday but I went into labour the day before. I was determined that he wasn't going to be born that day and my delivery notes showed that having been admitted at 10.50pm almost fully dilated I went into second stage at midnight. When I asked DH "is it his birthday yet" (the clock was behind me) the mws looked hmm

DS3 was due the day before The Birthday 2 years later but was born a week after it. His birthday is always a bit of an anti-climax coming hot on the heels of the joint celebration

SixSpotBonfire Mon 20-Oct-08 22:32:19

Mine are 15 July, 2 Aug and 4 Aug.

Only problem is people making jokes about breeding seasons hmm.

Cheesesarnie Mon 20-Oct-08 22:35:10

my eldest are 1 year 5 days apart.theyre very close and dont seem bothered by closeness of birthdays.however 3rd dc might feel left out as he gets older-hes near xmas and although not yet 3,he seemed a bit cross this year when dd had a birthday then ds1 5 days later but he didnt yet have one!

hatrick Mon 20-Oct-08 22:38:32

Message withdrawn

Califright Mon 20-Oct-08 22:48:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flibbertyjibbet Mon 20-Oct-08 22:52:34

My little sister was born 6 years and one day after me.
As soon as she realised about birthdays, she would take down my cards on HER birthday, put all hers up and leave them there for bloody weeks.
I did have a few strops about it for a few years, but I left home when she was 12 so a lot of things just got forgotten.

We are now 46 (eek) and 40. Last year she was causing some aggro for me. Our middle sister was trying to smooth things over when little sister suddenly says 'oh well you know flibbertybigsis has always had a chip on her shoulder because she wasn't allowed to keep her birthday cards up after her birthday' shockshock

I hadn't given it a thought for about 30 years!!!

So, to the op, our birthdays being a day apart never bothered ME at all but it seems like it bothered someone!

melpomene Mon 20-Oct-08 23:17:56

My dds' birthdays are 5 days apart. It hasn't caused any problems. When they were 3 and 1 they had a joint party (but I still decided to make 2 cakes, which was a bit of a nightmare; wouldn't do that again). Apart from that they've had separate parties on separate weekends. I wouldn't do a joint party unless they both wanted it.

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