Trying to time IVF so that it has least impact on other children's education

[KatieDD]

I have a child in year 4 and with the 11+ looming i've been warned that year 5 is the most important for her and therefore it would be better to have a baby in year 6 for her which takes me to 2010.
But I will be 35 am worried I'm decreasing my chances and of course it means the gap between the new baby and my youngest will be 6 years.
Am I thinking about this too much or being sensible, I don't want to scarifices one childs needs for another iyswim.

[Reallytired]

I think you should go for the baby. There will never be a good time. You could argue that if you leave it any later then you could have a teenager and a child going through the terrible twos. Also IVF is often not sucessful straightaway.

If your child is truely grammar school maternal then having a sibbling won't affect her chances.

[KatieDD]

I just don't want to do anything to jepodise her future at all, because i'm the type that would beat myself up forever if she didn't get in and blame myself.

[TheArmadillo]

agree with reallytired.

It could take a long time and there is never a 'perfect' time to have a child, there is always something coming up.

[scaryfucker]

at trying to time ivf

if you are successful with ivf at any time you thank your lucky stars

IMO, if you try to time a successful ivf pg you are more likely to end up sorely disappointed

you are thinking too much

take your chances now

every year that goes by, the odds get longer

[Saturn74]

I think you may be over-analysing everything a bit, which just adds pressure.
Your DD will manage just fine.
Good luck with the IVF.

[Spicychicken]

Go for it now! If you beat yourself up about things (I can relate to that BIG TIME!)-you might beat yourself up even more if you wait too long and then things don't work out with the IVF. Children can be very resilient and I bet your daughter would be as excited as you about another baby.

[Acinonyx]

You might need to to IVF more than once (or twice) so don't put it off. I have a dd from my 2nd fresh cycle after one fresh (then m/c) then frozen (bfn). Of course it might work first time - but don't bank on it. Allow yourself enough time to try again.

[KatieDD]

I can only have one try so am very much banking on it i'm afraid.
Sooner rather than later then, I am a control freak, tis not in my nature at all to let go.

[Acinonyx]

I would do it sooner Katie - it's quite stressful to have it hanging over you for any length of time. And if you only have one shot - you really want to be as young as possible. I had dd at 43 though - so you're not over the hill quite yet!

Hopefully, since you already have one dc, your chances are pretty good.