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Trying to time IVF so that it has least impact on other children's education

(10 Posts)
KatieDD Sun 19-Oct-08 16:51:28

I have a child in year 4 and with the 11+ looming i've been warned that year 5 is the most important for her and therefore it would be better to have a baby in year 6 for her which takes me to 2010.
But I will be 35 am worried I'm decreasing my chances and of course it means the gap between the new baby and my youngest will be 6 years.
Am I thinking about this too much or being sensible, I don't want to scarifices one childs needs for another iyswim.

Reallytired Sun 19-Oct-08 16:54:55

I think you should go for the baby. There will never be a good time. You could argue that if you leave it any later then you could have a teenager and a child going through the terrible twos. Also IVF is often not sucessful straightaway.

If your child is truely grammar school maternal then having a sibbling won't affect her chances.

KatieDD Sun 19-Oct-08 16:56:22

I just don't want to do anything to jepodise her future at all, because i'm the type that would beat myself up forever if she didn't get in and blame myself.

TheArmadillo Sun 19-Oct-08 16:56:24

agree with reallytired.

It could take a long time and there is never a 'perfect' time to have a child, there is always something coming up.

scaryfucker Sun 19-Oct-08 16:58:15

hmm at trying to time ivf

if you are successful with ivf at any time you thank your lucky stars

IMO, if you try to time a successful ivf pg you are more likely to end up sorely disappointed

you are thinking too much

take your chances now

every year that goes by, the odds get longer

Saturn74 Sun 19-Oct-08 17:01:42

I think you may be over-analysing everything a bit, which just adds pressure.
Your DD will manage just fine.
Good luck with the IVF. smile

Spicychicken Sun 19-Oct-08 21:43:54

Go for it now! If you beat yourself up about things (I can relate to that BIG TIME!)-you might beat yourself up even more if you wait too long and then things don't work out with the IVF. Children can be very resilient and I bet your daughter would be as excited as you about another baby.

Acinonyx Sun 19-Oct-08 22:17:59

You might need to to IVF more than once (or twice) so don't put it off. I have a dd from my 2nd fresh cycle after one fresh (then m/c) then frozen (bfn). Of course it might work first time - but don't bank on it. Allow yourself enough time to try again.

KatieDD Sun 19-Oct-08 22:24:11

I can only have one try so am very much banking on it i'm afraid.
Sooner rather than later then, I am a control freak, tis not in my nature at all to let go.

Acinonyx Sun 19-Oct-08 22:28:35

I would do it sooner Katie - it's quite stressful to have it hanging over you for any length of time. And if you only have one shot - you really want to be as young as possible. I had dd at 43 though - so you're not over the hill quite yet!

Hopefully, since you already have one dc, your chances are pretty good.

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