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How to tell my 2yr old that she is going to be getting a little brother or sister?

(21 Posts)
umchuck Sat 18-Oct-08 18:14:55

I am not sure how to phrase this news? We are all getting a baby? She is getting a baby?.......

I am really nervous about how she may react.. and am not sure when I should tell her. I am 4 months and clearly showing..

Has anyone got any advice on how to break the news at all?
Am i making too much of a 'issue'?

Any help on this would be gratefully received.


CaptainKarvol Sat 18-Oct-08 18:19:11

I'd just tell her tbh. Maybe sharing some pics of her when she was really tiny?

I've been telling my 2.6 year old DS that there is 'a tiny baby growing in mummy's tummy', and he's been absolutely fine with the news and seems to understand it too. I told him very early, mainly because he loves to belly flop onto my tummy, which had to stop.

I'm 19 weeks now, and DS gets the scan pic down to look at, points at my tummy and says that the 'tiny baby' is inside.

He thinks it is going to 'crawl out and play with [him]' - my midwife did say she'd love to see that one happening!

umchuck Sat 18-Oct-08 18:25:01

Thank you very much!


hairymcleary Sun 19-Oct-08 03:43:59

My DH just started telling DS (2.4) that there's a baby in mummy's tummy. DS was in complete denial about it for a while, but now he has accepted it. He saw a friends 5 week old DS last week, so we talked about how he was like the baby growing in mummy's tummy. He seemed to get the hang of it!

tryingtoleave Sun 19-Oct-08 04:00:04

I've been telling DS (2.3) that there is a baby 'hiding' (he likes hiding) in mummy's tummy and that the baby is going to come and live with us soon. I don't know how much of that he really understands - I don't know if anything can really prepare them for what is going to happen.

umchuck Sun 19-Oct-08 09:56:36

thanks so much everyone for your views on this..


nigglewiggle Sun 19-Oct-08 10:01:03

You can get some good books. I got some from the library and DD (also 2) loved reading them and I think it helped her to get used to the idea.

mumof2andabit Sun 19-Oct-08 10:01:54

I used to point at my tummy and tell ds there is a baby in there. He wasn't 2 when I got pregnant tho but he did understand, I wouldnt worry too much about it tho just relax and if there are fireworks you can deal with them at the time but everyone I know who has a baby at around the 2yo age has had very positive experience with older dc looking after the little one.

Anifrangapani Sun 19-Oct-08 10:03:27

we took dd to ds's scans and let her chose his name..... made her feel really involved, although we drew the line at letting her see the birth.

when we were leaving hospital she came to pick him up and brought him home with us to show the grand parents.

She has always felt as if he was hers iyswim. I have just asked her if she can remember him being born and she can't although she remembers before and after (mainly the presents she was bought by him via various reletives).... but she did add that she prefers having a brother than not ( this is on a day where they have been sqabbling non stop hmm )

Spoo Sun 19-Oct-08 10:06:41

try this book It is a LOVELY book. It was great for our DS when telling him DS was only 15 months when DS2 was born but I'm sure he understood. There is a lovely picture at the end with the new family so you can ask him who everyone is whilst pointing at the picture and get him very used to the idea.

pistachio Sun 19-Oct-08 10:09:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluebutterfly Sun 19-Oct-08 10:09:33

Sorry - don't want to hijack, but I am worried about telling my 4 year old ds. He is so used to being an "only" that I am not sure whether he will be excited or put out!

Spoo Sun 19-Oct-08 10:14:15

Exactly the same book I recommended Pistachio. Congrats on your new baby. BTW pist and Blie butterfly - the best present I ever gave my DS1 was DS2. THey are great pals and although they fight they couldn't be without each other, so please don't beat yourself up about it!! Sorry bout hijak.

Elkat Sun 19-Oct-08 10:24:09

I also recommend the book Spoo recommends. We presented the whole thing as DD1 getting a baby (rather than us). Yes, we had a lot of bad behaviour at the time, and DD1 was very insecure and jealous before and after the birth... but once she got used to the idea of DD2, they now get along great. DD2 is still primarily DD1s sister in DD1s eyes, if she makes a friend at soft play, they have to meet her sister and so on...

pistachio Sun 19-Oct-08 10:24:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluebutterfly Sun 19-Oct-08 17:25:20

Thanks Spoo! Will get the book for sure!

Congrats to Umchuck btw -again sorry for the hijack grin

monkeymonkeymonkey Sun 19-Oct-08 17:53:53

I waited until I was about 39 weeks and then asked DD if she would like a baby. She said she would. I said "OK then I will get one for you". And I did. grin She was very pleased with her baby.

Dont know what I would have done if she said no though hmm

Ally90 Sun 19-Oct-08 18:31:22

I'm 18 weeks pg and my dd is 2.6 yrs. We told her on the way to the 12 wk scan about there may be a baby in mummy's tummy. She did'nt pay much attention (or so we thought) to the scan but after talked of the baby on the tiny computer screen. I've introduced her to my midwife (who looks after mummy's with babies in their tummys) and she often gets some object (fork/wooden spoon etc) and pulls my jeans down a bit and runs it over my tummy making a shushing noise grin. She has said 'open tummy!' 'hello baby what are you doing?', 'baby coming out of mummy's bottom'...(not told her how the baby is getting out yet!! Need that book!) and she regularly points to my throat abotu the baby coming out...and at random times she will come out with 'baby in mummy's tummy!'.

Have not thought so far as 'your getting a baby'...I know someone bought a baby and a sling and all the other bits when the baby was born so she could look after her baby...

I'll look out for more advice on how to handle it all!

Gemzooks Sun 19-Oct-08 22:53:26

I'm preg too, DS is 2..

I'm trying to get him interested in babies by pointing them out and getting him to notice them, and also to care for his animals/dolls, feeding them, putting them 'to bed ' etc, which he loves. Just the general idea of 'he is a big boy who can look after a smaller child because he's kind and clever etc', and also I just say I have a baby in my tummy and he kisses it goodnight. however I don't think he really gets it. Will follow this thread with interest and try some of the books suggested... Good luck!

shortshafe Sun 19-Oct-08 23:16:01

DD was 21 months when ds was born 12 weeks ago, we used 'there's a house inside my mummy' which is BRILLIANT, and 'the new baby' which features the bunn family, and has some great illustrations of new mums and babies in hospital, mum breastfeeding the new baby, the whole family out for a walk etc. We got them both from waterstones, but think they are on amazon too.

We also bought dd a pushchair with a doll, some clothes, a bottle etc. She loved me showing her what to do with her doll and enjoyed reading the books with me, not sure if she ever really 'got' the idea of the baby being inside me, but she certainly hasn't been fazed by any of the things we've needed to do with ds since he arrived! When she met him in hospital she promptly kissed him and announced 'my baby' to the whole ward, and likes to change and feed her doll when I sort ds out.

It's useful if I include dd in everything and make her feel important and grown up, 'shall we take ds for a walk?' 'ds needs his nappy changing, will you fetch me a clean nappy please' 'you're so gentle and good when you kiss/hug/try to suffocate ds'!!

So far...all is good! grin

Spoo Mon 20-Oct-08 23:19:05

LOL shortshafe at suffocate!!

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