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How much,if any support do you get?

(73 Posts)
Bonnycat Thu 16-Oct-08 16:07:58

From family and friends?
Just curious really-my mum helps out a couple of hours a week now she has retired and babysits when we ask if she can but has her own life /plans of course too.
I dont EXPECT anyone to help as it was our choice to have them.

scorpio1 Thu 16-Oct-08 16:09:19

None - only from DH.

oopsadaisyangel Thu 16-Oct-08 16:17:38

I get ALOT of help. Mum takes / picks DS up from school Mon-Thur and will have him at her house on any weekend. When this DC arrives she will be looking after him/her four days a week too.

She is a complete star and we couldn't survive without her grin

Acinonyx Thu 16-Oct-08 16:17:40

Also none except dh. Dd has a CM while I work (with occaisional mn breaks wink)

NomDePlume Thu 16-Oct-08 16:20:07

3 kids - 16, almost 15 & 6

My Mum babysits for us once in a blue moon, she works f/t and lives 1h45m away so she's not able to be the collecting from school and go over for tea sort of granny.

We use a childminder when I'm at work.

No other help day to day.

onlyjoking9329 Thu 16-Oct-08 16:21:18

well i dont get any help from family.
it is just me and the kids.
i do get some help from a respite family once a month for a few hours and cos the kids have autism we have people who can take them out now and again.

VinegARGHHHTits Thu 16-Oct-08 16:25:02

My mum pick ds up from nursery mon - thurs so i can work a bit longer and finish early on fri, xp has him 1 night at the weekend, tbh i could cope without any help if i had to, but its nice to finish early on fri and i look forward to my one night off when he is at xp's

cmotdibbler Thu 16-Oct-08 16:28:08

None - DH and I, plus nursery do it all. We can't leave DS alone with either of my parents for more than 10 minutes anyway.

retiredgoth Thu 16-Oct-08 16:28:12

....every other weekend one of my sisters will stay to urchin farm whilst I work two 12 hour shifts. They both live hundreds of miles away so this is a considerable effort on their part, for which I am grateful.

...apart from that, diddly squat. Tis I, four unruly urchins, and a large supply of veterinary anaesthetic medication......

mammyofET Thu 16-Oct-08 16:28:23

MIL will babysit about once a month when we have a night out and does help on odd days if DS is ill but DH and I have to work.

My parents live 150 miles away and we get lots of help when they visit about every other month for a weekend.

In the main it is just me and DH though.

naturelover Thu 16-Oct-08 16:28:33

None at all except from DH.
We have no paid childcare either, I'm a SAHM and couldn't earn enough to cover the cost.
Our parents live far away but to be honest they're useless so that makes no difference. They haven't so much as changed a single nappy between them (but we don't expect them to).

titfortwat Thu 16-Oct-08 16:28:45

No I don't get any what-so-ever. My mum is depressed and m.i.l dosen't want us to be together and is a selfish lady.

I used to get very down about it.I suffered from p.n.d and felt very alone. My best friend's mum helps all the time and is wonderful. It makes a huge difference in life, when you get support.

On the other hand. I am a grown up and wanted children and am very independent because of it. Life is tough at times though. Children are at school now but I need to work, I am studying and my house looks like it has been trashed.

I am always going to do all I can for all my children.

Dropdeadfred Thu 16-Oct-08 16:29:02

My parents live 200 miles away.
if they come to stay they will babysit for a night. DH would not want to go out in the day wthout dd anyway

more Thu 16-Oct-08 16:30:28

My family lives abroad, but even when we lived in the same building as them we got no help from them.

My husband's family takes them when we ask once every two months (on average).

However we did think that they (dh's family) would have shown a lot more interest in our children as they were literally begging for us to start a family when we got married.

francagoestohollywood Thu 16-Oct-08 16:30:42

We get lots of support since we moved back to Italy, close to our families. We didn't have much support in the UK, we paid for part time nursery.

naturelover Thu 16-Oct-08 16:34:22

titfortwat (love your nickname!) I suspect I have pnd right now, only I think that is a nice label to put on a woman who gets bugger all support for what is the hardest job I've ever done.
Can you tell I'm having a bad day? Teething miserable baby and no break from her for weeks.

Penthesileia Thu 16-Oct-08 16:36:12

None. Lost my mum in my teens, dad remarried and up North, and in-laws in Italy. When I think about it too much I feel a bit tearful.


Oooh: francagoestohollywood... I love EcceBombo! I'm not even that sure what's happening (my Italian isn't fluent, and we have the video, so no subtitles), but I love it anyway. I heart Nanni Moretti.

end hijack/

ohdearwhatamess Thu 16-Oct-08 16:36:35

Family - none. SIL (40 mins away) would help out in an emergency but won't do babysitting (doesn't approve of child-free nights out....most odd imo). Parents and MIL live too far away but don't/wont help when they visit either.

Have friends I could use in an emergency, but never have.

Dh works long hours a lot, (or did pre-economic crisis) and travels abroad a lot, so most of it is down to me.

RhinestoneCowghoul Thu 16-Oct-08 16:36:53

My parents live a 3 hr drive away. My mum comes to stay for a weekend about every 2 months (was more frequent when DS was a baby). When she is here she will do things like take DS to the park so DH and I can have time together, and has babysat in evenings. Also lots of listening to my moaning over the phone wink.

MIL is about 4 hr drive away, we see her about twice a year, usually one of these is a visit to her. I don't think it has occurred to her to offer to babysit when she has stayed with us.

Mainly for babysitting I rely on reciprocal arrangements with friends. DS goes to a CM when I work.

My mum is hopefully coming to stay with us when DC2 is born (Christmas) but has been unwell recently and don't want to pin hopes on this. We are getting a post-natal doula too...

Penthesileia Thu 16-Oct-08 16:38:26

naturelover -- poor you. how old's your dd? it is really hard, i think, and with the collapse of the extended family, etc., it's desperately difficult for mums (and dads), i reckon.

bubblagirl Thu 16-Oct-08 16:39:19

my mum will babysit when we ask if she can but this isnt often as dp works long hours so its just me and my ds

it can be so tiring and waring as he has autism and can be a struggle but i do what i can and i do my best

dp family dont live near and the ones that do are always off on holiday and dont come to our house they wait till dp off from work and we go to theres so none really just every few months for few hours

NomDePlume Thu 16-Oct-08 16:41:02

retiredgoth - just read your profile. V witty grin

naturelover Thu 16-Oct-08 16:42:17

Penthesileia, DD is 14 months. She's a delight, usually, but is teething badly at the moment poor thing, and I'm finding it a bit relentless. She's so clingy and whingy. And won't bloody nap.

francagoestohollywood Thu 16-Oct-08 16:43:04

smile Penthesileia, tis not easy to know exactly what goes on in Eccebombo... if you are interested, I think that there are newly issued dvds of Moretti's movies, these ones might have subtitles! Is your dh italian btw?

naturelover I know how it feels. When my first was a baby I was in the UK, and the few people I knew back then didn't have children. Loneliness with a small baby is damn hard, ime.

Penthesileia Thu 16-Oct-08 16:45:47

I've yet to hit teething, naturelover. Am full-on dreading it!! And sympathies re: the napping. Sometimes I feel my whole day is devoted to trying to get my dd to nap... No advice (besides, you're streets ahead of me in the experience stakes), but sympathies nonetheless!

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