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just say NO

(12 Posts)
cazabela Sun 06-Mar-05 07:46:40

help. every time i say no to my 2yr old she screams at me. how do i say no and mean it?

misdee Sun 06-Mar-05 07:51:07

just tell her no and dont back down. very hard to do i know.

cazabela Sun 06-Mar-05 07:55:09

i just feel that i am always talking to my self. i dont think its a case of not backing down its to get her to listen to me. and understand that no is no

stitch Sun 06-Mar-05 08:01:53

the great thing about a two year old is that if they are screaming, and you are getting stressed by it, you can always pick them up, put them in their cot/bedroom, and shut the door. calmly saying that mummy means no, and when they are calm, they can come out.
an eight year old will come out with twenty reasons why mummy is wrong to say no, and you cant pick them ups so easily......

cazabela Sun 06-Mar-05 08:03:27

thanks

cazabela Sun 06-Mar-05 08:03:28

thanks

cazabela Sun 06-Mar-05 08:03:29

thanks

bathmummy Sun 06-Mar-05 08:11:08

Hard isn’t it? Have you tried the counting to three to calm down thing? Another mmsnet advised me and works a treat.
After telling them firmly "No" if they continue doing it/start wailing or screaming you say in a loud voice "right, i am counting to three and if you have not stopped/camed down by then, you will sit on the naughty step/go to your room....1....2....3" If you always do this and always follow through with it, they do learn. If my exceptionally stubborn yelling banshee of a daughter can stop at "2" from the deepest depths of a tantrum then i bet yours will learn too. Has saved all sorts of situations, incl. highly awkward ones like int he queue at Tescos! The best one that it works with is getting her out of the bath - she woudl never stand up for me and we wouldfight every night, now she knows that if she isn’t standing up ready to be lifted out by the count of three then she has no story. Works 99.9% of the time. HTH

KarenThirl Sun 06-Mar-05 13:51:17

There should always be a consequence for not complying with a reasonable request. No always has to mean no, and if she doesn't stop then you tell her that X will happen if she doesn't. Then if she still doesn't you make damn sure X does happen. X has to be a punishment that fits the crime too, or it could backfire. Tell her it's up to her if X happens - often kids will back down if they're given the responsibility choose the outcome.

I use 1-2-3 often as well, but again there has to be a consequence if I get to three.

WestCountryLass Sun 06-Mar-05 20:04:29

What sort of things are you saying no about?

LIZS Sun 06-Mar-05 20:17:32

Yes it is horrible and our 3yo still does it occasionally even though she can hold a perfectly reasoned argument when the mood takes her. If she won't listen I refuse to communicate with her until she has calmed down.

My advice is to pick your battles - I found it really easy to turn every minor detail into a fight, and most of them were not that important in the scheme of things, then one fight would lead to another - and to try to present a "no" differently so that it becomes a "yes but.." or "not today, we'll do this instead..." rather than a definitive NO. Exceptions are safety related, overriding need (such as to collect ds from school at a particular time) and plain defiance.

cazabela Mon 07-Mar-05 10:20:24

thanks you lot i will give them all a try!

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