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Having number 2....I'm sure there's a book that can tell me exactly how to do it?

(10 Posts)
Crumblemum Mon 13-Oct-08 22:30:31

Hi. I'm having my second child in Jan, when my ds will be 2.2 years old. We're a pretty normal family (famous last words), but son can be quite sensitve and a bit jealous when I'm with other babies children. Just wondered if there's a good book out there anyone can recommend to help us all along?


Tommy Mon 13-Oct-08 22:34:14

I read a few chapters on books that mde suggestions but, TBH, I think you just have to go with the flow. DS1 was 19m when DS2 was born and I dont remember really having any major jealousy problems. You will find that number 2 will just have to slot in to your DS's routine anyway.

His baby brother or sister will be different from other babies anyway - he'll love him/her smile

cory Tue 14-Oct-08 08:26:47

The one thing I would say I learnt from having no 2 was this:

when you have no 1 everything else takes second place

when you have no 2 everything else still takes second place to no 1!

all right, slight exaggeration, but a newborn baby can actually wait a lot of the time- a toddler is going to feel a lot more upset and abandoned if he is the one being made to wait.

DaddyJ Tue 14-Oct-08 08:37:15

Yes, definitely, it's called:
Three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush.

LadyMuck Tue 14-Oct-08 08:44:48

No don't read Three socks - it will probably put you off for life!

Didn't The best friends guide to toddlers have something on this?

DaddyJ Tue 14-Oct-08 08:56:10

lol LadyMuck
I just finished reading the Amazon reviews and was astounded
by all these whiny reviews!

So let me add, Crumblemum, if you'd rather just focus on nice thoughts
then 3 shoes is probably not a good idea.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow Tue 14-Oct-08 08:57:10

Our oldest (3 at the time) played up BIG time when little brother was born. Now, our circumstances were a little different to most as I was bedridden for a month after his birth, so from Ds1s perspective I was in bed, and baby was with me, and he was downstairs doing his regular stuff, looked after by granny, auntie, daddy, etc.

When eventually I got well enough to "rejoin normal life", and got an au pair, we found that it was better if I handled DS1, and the au pair carried ds2 around. The oldest child needs mummy more than ever when there is a new baby in the house, it is the worst time at all to "put him aside", so it is useful to remember, that baby can wait a little for a nappy change, he can cry a bit, and your oldest MUST feel important.

However, if you are planning to send him to daycare, or nursery, or even increase his hours at the nursery, it might be a good idea that he starts these activities before the baby is born, so he doesnt feel pushed out, iyswim.

willali Tue 14-Oct-08 12:42:22

I agree with all above - The only rule you need to know on having No2 is that babies do not die of crying, but your first child WILL remember if you go to the baby first. WHat I'm trying to say is that you will find that you probably don't pay the newborn as much attention as you did the first time round because almost always if both of them are shouting, the older one should get priority, even if it is just to say "do you want to help me change the baby" or "shall we look at this book while baby has his milk".

You will also not have the luxury of sleeping while the baby sleeps as you may have done first time around - stock up on the strong coffee!!

Crumblemum Tue 14-Oct-08 22:05:37

Not sure I'm brave enough for three socks, positive thoughts only here. Am still reminded by my big sister (now 33) of the shock of my arrival, so thanks for all the hints! As I won't be working our childcare is coming to an end. Think I'm going to use some informal play groups, but ds1 will actually end up with more mummy time....let's hope he remembers that!

Yokefleet Wed 15-Oct-08 22:51:29

one tip would suggest is that the new baby gets big brother a big gift when you come home from hospital. My son was 34months old and my ds2 (now 10 weeks) got him a big Thomas Tank set that he loves and ds1 has been fantastic with ds2 and tells everybody about the gift.

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