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DD is 5 and seems very insecure???

(7 Posts)
Sanctuary Mon 13-Oct-08 11:52:08

DD is 5 and is completely opposite of DS who is 8 outgoing and very confidant.
They have been brought up excatly the same

DD never wants to give anything new ago if she can`t do it the first time she won`t try again and just shuts off.
Yesterday we were trying to get her to ride her bike without stabilzers(sp)within 2 mins she got off and stormed in .She won`t go back on it.this is an example of what shes like

She seems to be so insecure and unhappy in herself and when I ask her if she o.k she says yes
But then she wrote in her little book that she can`t stop dreaming about monsters.???
When I asked her what she meant she just said that they always there when she goes to bed
She is doing really well at school in class her teacher keeps her focused.But when you ask her if she wants a playdate she says no not really .She just wants to play with her brother who is busy playing footie

She gets invites to parties so she is liked by others.But never talks about them

Dh says I should accept that that is her.
I do,I am just worried that she seems unhappy and I don`t know what to do

Sanctuary Mon 13-Oct-08 13:13:04

Anybody with any words of wisdom???


Lovesdogsandcats Mon 13-Oct-08 13:45:35

if she says no to meeting friends, i would not push it. the monster thing seems pretty normal at that age.

I have heard good things about this , never tried myself :

i agree with dh, accept her as she is and don't try and control her whole matter how tempting wink if she wants you to help her with a problem, she'll tell you.

LoopyLena Mon 13-Oct-08 13:50:13

In my experiance, I've had 3, kids are all totally different regardless of if you bring them up the same. My first was confident, outgoing, bright as a button, advanced for his age etc, etc.. My second is shy, reserved, gets embarrassed easily, has no confidence, not bothered with friends, has 'monster issues' although his dreams seem to be werewolfs!!! My third is just like the first.

I wouldn't worry too much at this age, I think it's pretty normal. wink

Sanctuary Mon 13-Oct-08 13:54:37

Thankyou lovesdogsandcats

Just worried that she is going to miss out on things if she won`t give em ago

When I drop her off at school she just stands on the edge of the playground watching others play and does`nt seem to want/can`t join in.

She is a loner but seems to be not happy about it????

Lovesdogsandcats Mon 13-Oct-08 13:58:48

I would deffo take your clue from the fact that she is not unhappy. You can't change someone so short of holding her hand and going up to other kids on her behalf which is a bit ott, there is not a thing you can do.

Accept her, I know its hard as you hurt for them but how do you know that she really is happy on her own but is curious as to what the kids are doing, hence the watching?

wishingchair Mon 13-Oct-08 14:59:31

Lovesdogsandcats - was just going to say same thing. She might be perfectly happy watching the other kids, but totally understand that you want her to be in the thick of it and obviously having a whale of a time.

For what it's worth, by DD (also 5) is a real perfectionist so we have had many traumas associated with learning to ride her bike, skipping, swimming lessons, you name it. Eventually she seems to have accepted that she won't be able to do it straight away but that's fine, no one can, but to be able to do it, she has to try. She is now so much happier she has proved to herself she can try and has made a tiny bit of progress.

Finally, no 2 children have exactly the same upbringing. My in laws say this about their children and it's tosh. The 1st usually has mostly exclusively adult company at home and 100% doting parents. The 2nd is brought into the chaotic world of family life, shared parental attention, and has the older one as a major role model. I was quite introverted as a child and once you get labelled as 'shy', it becomes even harder to break the stereotype, so please don't let anyone label your children as the outgoing one and the quiet one.

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