what is controlled crying(12 Posts)
what is controlled crying and how does it work? i saw sometying about it on mum's the word the other day but cant remember what to do. my dd will only ever sleep for 15-20 mins in her cot in the day and i would like for it to be longer, would contolled crying help with this?
Briefly (I'm sure that someone else will be able to fill you in more) it's when you leave them to cry for a certain length of time - say 5 minutes to start with, before you go in & comfort the. You then, over time, build up this time that you leave them for so that they don't expect to be comforted as soon as they cry, and so will eventually go back to sleep on their own.
We used it with ds1 to get him to sleep at night & it did work, although can be tough listening to them cry. How old is your dd? It's usually not recomended until the child is at least 6 months old, as before that they don't understand what is happening.
The Christopher Green book 'Babies' is what we found useful for stuff such as controlled crying. (The same guy as wrote Toddler Taming).
There are definately 2 camps on controlled crying - i.e. 'For' and 'Against'. I'm definately in the 'For' camp!
Personally I'd probably leave it a bit yet then. Get hold of the 'Babies' book if you can & have a look through it - it explains things much better!
I left dd2 to cry for nearly an hour and a half when she was almost 6 months old - she was waking several times a night and I was at the end of my tether. It was horrendous (the controlled crying) but it worked - the next night she cried for 40 mins then after that not a peep and went through for 12 hours solid.
I wouldn't attempt it without reading the relevant chapter in Richard Ferber's 'Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems'. Apparently 5m+ is ok, but like Tetley I'd leave it till 6m at least. I was in the 'against' camp till about 10m - driven to using the wimp's version - haven't looked back. Good luck
I found controlled crying worked at night but didn't work in the day when I was hoping ds would nap longer. Not sure why - maybe ds just sensed that in the night the controlled crying was for his benefit and in the day it was for mine
There are different versions of cc. I personality haven't tried the Ferber method, but did a cc "light" on DS1 around 10 months to get him to sleep at night.
Just wanted to say that all my babies have been power nappers. 20 minutes and they're ready to rock again. Very exchausting!
We did a version of cc when my ds was 4 mths old as he just wouldnt settle when he was tired no matter what we tried including nursing, cuddling you name it. We created a routine around naptimes that was always the same and when he showed signs of being tired would carry out routine and tuck him up in bed. We left him two minutes to cry two minutes cuddle (without getting him up, stroked his back, sang and talked to him) two minutes cry. The first time took about an hour of this and then the time decreased each time we used it. We stuck to 2mins every time so he would learn that we hadnt abandoned him but that we also weren't going to get him up. HTH.
Ooh we were a bit meaner than you saacsmum!
We left ours to cry for five minutes before we went to them the first time, to make sure that they weren't going to settle themselves, went in, repositioned, soothed etc, then left. Next visit was after 10 minutes, then 20 then 30 minutes.
First night took 45 minutes before sleep. Second = 20 minutes. Third took 10 minutes with no visit and after that straight to sleep after being put down.
Feel a bit guilty now........NOT!
I am in the against camp, but you didn't ak that
Just wnated to say there are lots of methods of encouraging your baby to sleep longer/better other than CC. Have a look at the Parentalk Guide To Sleep
Binkybetsy, we did the same. Ds was nearly four months old and like you it took two or three nights before he'd go to sleep when told it was bedtime, and thereafter slept through the night ever since. It's important to train babies quite early (I was told) so that they can be used to waking up without feeling afraid and alone and know that they can get back to sleep again. They have to learn that it's not appropriate to get up in the middle of the night - that's the time for sleeping.
As with others, didn't help during the day at all. DS was out of daytime naps by 18 months anyway, which is why I have bags under my eyes.
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