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How can I be happy?

(11 Posts)
Wumpy Wed 08-Oct-08 13:57:59

I new to MN. I am happily married and have a DS 5.3 and a DD 2.6. I am not really sure where i am going with this post so i am sorry if it doesnt make sence.

Over the last few months i have been feeling a bit discontent with everyday life. When i think about the wider picture i am on the whole quite happy i am just bored of my mundane day to day routine. I take DS to School then i take DD to an activity or into town etc and then its home for DD nap and housework before the school run in the afternoon. Then its dinner, bath, bed for the DCs and ironing or more chores for me. DH and i do sit down togther at weekend and sometimes during the week. I am just fed up of this day in day out. I want to have sometime to do soemthing for me but never have to time.

Although i have been thru Uni etc i have never been career minded and only ever really wanted children and to be a SAHM. What does everyone else do when they feel like this? Should i just put up with it? I love my Dcs so much and i know mums sacrifice so much for thier DCs and i am happy to do that... I am just bored of the daily grind.

I should also say that i am one of those people how can only relax when i know the housework is done (perhaps thats why i dont get enough me time) even now i am feeling guilty because i should be cleaning the bathroom).

ok I will shut up now.

ahundredtimes Wed 08-Oct-08 14:03:49

Oh don't shut up - you've only just started. smile

Yes, can be VERY dull doing the same thing day in, day out.

Why don't you look into doing some voluntary work somewhere? Or if that is too demanding, find an evening course you might enjoy.

Sometimes it only takes one, often quite little, thing to help cheer the week up. Like joining a book group, or learning a language or doing some voluntary work.

Are you thinking about working when dcs at school? Is this a good time to think about re-training, finding a course you might enjoy doing too?

yousaidit Wed 08-Oct-08 14:05:16

I know how you feel: and it is just the daily monotonous grind of life. I work pt but have just tsarted mat leave and can feel that sense of boredom creeping into my days again... and you do feel like you need to get the housework done because you otyherwise just sit looking knowing it will needto be done at some point so you might as well get it out of the way!!!

Have you thought about getting a part time job: nothing exciting, just something for a couple of afternoons a week or something, just to get you out of your routine and getting you into a slightly wider social world? I used to love going to work just to have adult conversations that were not about kids or home: justr boring daily stuff that made you feel like you were part of the human race, ie, is john on corrie a tw*t or not? that sort of thing: you could agree that your wages would pay for yourdc who isat homedut=ring day tobe at nursery during that time? Or even voluntary work, poss on eves when dh can look after kids so no care fees, just to break your routine?

Its nothing to be ashamed to complain about: the daily gring can easily wear you down, and you don't want to complaint to dh when they've beenat workall day!! Yes, your position might be more priviledged that mums who have to work, but it doesn't mean the days don't still all roll into one!!!

ahundredtimes Wed 08-Oct-08 14:08:53

Oh and DO STOP cleaning your house all the time. I'm sure it's perfectly clean already. STOP cleaning a clean house.

Now is the time to work out what YOU want. Think where you'd like to be in five years time, and work backwards and see what you have to do to get there.

PetitFilou1 Wed 08-Oct-08 14:24:51

Join the PTA or the preschool committee (if there is one) or go for school Governor
Train to be a magistrate
Train to be an NCT teacher
Sell something from home (books, birthday cards that sort of thing)
Volunteer on a helpline or similar
Join a book group or a running club or a choir if any of those are your thing
Think about some paid work

It is like groundhog day isn't it. The mums I know who make SAHMing work do some or all of the above (except the paid bit) I've always worked part time myself....horses for courses

coochybottom Wed 08-Oct-08 16:49:24

God you sound just like me!! I am content being an SAHM and busy myself so much that I dont know how I would fit in working. I go to the gym 3 times a week which helps keeps me sane. I also sometimes feel like, oh I should be doing more somwehow but never do anything about it!! I too like to be organised etc so perhaps its a personality thing. You are sort of content but not quite....hmm

mumof2andabit Wed 08-Oct-08 16:52:27

I know how you feel. Its when you realise you aren't you anymore. Not even a little bit. You are Mother, cleaner and cook (and wife when you feel like it). Some days this is all you've ever wanted some days you just feel like a shadow.

No advice I'm afriad although mayb a part time job? Give you a little time to yourself?

Seuss Wed 08-Oct-08 18:37:18

Been there too. I have ended up on loads of committees and helping with school stuff - it's not ideal but it does give me more of a sense of purpose than the general drudgery does. (Unfortunately athough I'm not happy unless the housework is done, I'm not very efficient at it either!)

Boyswillbeboys Wed 08-Oct-08 18:56:33

Sounds like you need something that is just for you - can you get any time to yourself to take up a new hobby or restart something you gave up when you had children? If you don't want the pressure of having a job in terms of fixed hours, is there anywhere local where you can volunteer?

Wumpy Wed 08-Oct-08 19:00:58

Thank you all for your advice and for telling me i am not alone.

coochy... you got in n nutshell... i am content... but not quite.

I think maybe exercise may be the answer... i could do with losing weight and it might realise those feel good hormones.

I will also join the PTA. Mabybe i will do some more MNetting as well grin

coochybottom Wed 08-Oct-08 19:10:40

I have only just started on MN and love it!smile Good Luck

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