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Anyone else stay with and pat their 3 year old to sleep every night

(43 Posts)
mumma2cjh Mon 06-Oct-08 21:32:17

MY DS is 3.8 yrs and each night I still have to sit next to him whilst he goes to sleep, most nights he asks me to pat him.

We have discussions about how big boys let their Mummy's go downstairs to make tea etc.. but he says he is not ready for me to go and will do it when he is 4!

Some nights its ok but like tonight it took him 30mins - after alot of messing around and taking.....I know what I have to do but its just sooooo hard.

My LO also doesnt like change and always seems to go through phases which rectify themselves after months!!!

JakeMUM Mon 06-Oct-08 21:37:06

I no exactly how you are feeling. My little boy is 3 and i have to sit next to him and hold his hand till he goes to sleep. I just want to get on with my evening! I think they do grow out of it as hes only just stopped waking in the night, so hopefully they will grow out of it soon?! When i try and leave him to sleep himself he gets upset and says i obviousy don't love him!!!!

mumma2cjh Mon 06-Oct-08 21:45:58

Yes mine also wakes most nights ... this morning it was 3am, I go in sit or must admit get in bed with him for 10mins then sneek out.........I know, I know what Im doing but I just want to go back to sleep!!!

Encouraging to know Im not on my own

JakeMUM Mon 06-Oct-08 21:51:55

I used to do that, i would actually get into bed with him then sneak out!!! anything for an easy life hey! Do you leave a light on? i leave the hall light on now and his door open a little and he's a little happier with this! This one problen puts me off having anymore!

umberella Mon 06-Oct-08 21:53:38

oh god dp's cousin does this with her girls and it sometimes takes her hours...

mumma2cjh Mon 06-Oct-08 21:54:53

ha....Yes I leave the bathroom light on and door ajar....DS is also my only one and me two I just keep thinking...What if all this commotion wakes a new born, how would I juggle a baby and being upstairs for an hour each night etc....

yama Mon 06-Oct-08 21:55:43

Dd will be 3 at the end of the month. Dp still has to lie with her for around 20-30 minutes every night after reading her 2 books.

I would do it but I always end up falling asleep. blush

mumma2cjh Mon 06-Oct-08 21:56:45

most annoying thing is that he slept through from 8 weeks and most of his earlier years was fine....only since we moved him to a bed last year! Like you said it cant last forever!!! Just a pain like when me and hubby go out for a night out which I assure you is very rare....I have to get him to sleep beforehand then rush out as soon as Im down

JakeMUM Mon 06-Oct-08 21:58:29

Yes god i feel the same, i want another but this whole sleep thing worries me. Even though my boy sleeps most nites ok now, i worry another will be like he was as untill he was 3. He NEVER EVER slept whole night through.

yama Mon 06-Oct-08 21:58:49

Mumma2 - I just inform whoever is babysitting of dd's bedtime routine. grin Luckily, only family or very good friends babysit.

Niecie Mon 06-Oct-08 22:00:48

I did/do and DS2 is now 5. Having said that he is usually asleep within 5 minutes so it isn't a problem. He doesn't wake at night often, just for bad dreams so I know he can go to sleep by himself.

The worst of it is that whilst giving him a 'quick' cuddle I am as likely to fall asleep as he is and then I wake up at 10pm and my evening is gone. Not every time but often enough.blush

Thankfully I don't have to put him to bed every night, DH and I take turns.

I think, if I could be bothered, that the way to go is gradual withdrawal (you lie/sit further and further away from the child, whilst still in the same room, over a period of week until you leave before they are asleep) but tbh I like having my cuddle and it won't be long before he'll want to read and to have some time to himself and I will not be needed!

mumma2cjh Mon 06-Oct-08 22:01:51

most annoying thing is that he slept through from 8 weeks and most of his earlier years was fine....only since we moved him to a bed last year! Like you said it cant last forever!!! Just a pain like when me and hubby go out for a night out which I assure you is very rare....I have to get him to sleep beforehand then rush out as soon as Im down

unaccomplishedfattylegalmummy Tue 07-Oct-08 23:52:55

Well DH and I still do this with our 5.5 year old dd1 and dd2 (2).

Mulanmum Wed 08-Oct-08 06:32:53

My DD is nearly 4 and she falls asleep every night in our bed with one of us lying next to her. She's getting to the stage where, when she's very sleepy, I can say "I'm going to feed the cat now" smile and she's OK with that. Once she's fast asleep we move her into her own room. I have no problem with this - though it may be less cute if we're still doing this when she's 9!

TheBlonde Wed 08-Oct-08 07:45:50

I have to do this most nights
Sometimes I get away by asking him to look at a book while I go tidy up or have a cup of tea, then I return and he is asleep

mumma2cjh Wed 08-Oct-08 21:42:06

Im sooooooo glad its not me...this week has been so much better as in he's dropped off quite quickly. He says he is still not ready to do it alone!

Orinoco Wed 08-Oct-08 21:45:14

Message withdrawn

vizbizz Fri 10-Oct-08 06:05:09

my ds is 2.7 and goes needs us to stay with him for his day nap. Otherwise he doesn't stay still long enough and ends up overtied and unable to nap. Nights, he will get to sleep by himself, though usually after a LOT of faffing about. Takes him at least half an hour, sometimes as much as an hour to drop off.

wannaBe Fri 10-Oct-08 07:05:48

The only reason children do this is because their parents let them.

My sister has a 5.5 yo and a 2.5 yo and neither of them can settle themselves to sleep sad.

Tbh I don't think it's doing them any favours.


spudballoo Fri 10-Oct-08 07:30:00

I don't have to do this with either of mine, 3 and 20 months although the 20 month old was patted to sleep until he was about a year or so.

My 3 year old often asks for us to stay with him, sleep with him etc which we have kindly but firmly utterly refused to do. He will accept a quick 'snuggle down' which involes us putting out heads on his pillow, but kneeling on the floor, and then I leave the light on and tell him I have to go downstairs to have my dinner and he's fine with that.

I feel very sorry for you being held hostage in there! And in all honesty I would try to put a stop to it. 3 year olds are incredibly persuasive but YOU are in charge!

Morloth Fri 10-Oct-08 16:58:51

I do it quite often and DS is 4. I will sometimes take a book and chill out in the rocking chair in his room, or if I am feeling tired myself will tuck him up in our bed, snuggle him close and either read or nap myself.

It is just such a lovely quiet ending to the day, often I have yelled at him and told him off and he has yelled back and blah blah so it is nice to just have some time cuddling, will do it for as long as he lets me. Sometimes DH does it too. If we do have another one I fully intend to snuggle baby at the same time.

Having said all that it isn't every night and if we are going out we tend to get the babysitter to come over pretty early and they put him to bed, he is fine with it.

harpomarx Fri 10-Oct-08 17:05:14

used to have to lie down with dd until she was nearly 4, we also shared a bed. I got her her own bed and from that night she has put herself to bed! I am still shock and very grin several months on. It was a total overnight change on her part and I think she suddenly felt old enough and secure enough to do it on her own.

As he's in his own bed already, I guess that won't work for you, but it may be that he really will do it when he's 4 of his own accord... you never know.

When dd has trouble settling it usually helps to put a cd on - music or audio books are great for her and I leave a little light on sometimes. She also is allowed to 'read' in bed after i have left and she now does this and then turns her light out and goes to sleep. As I said, I am still shock!

littlepiggies Fri 10-Oct-08 19:17:20

We settle our (just turned) 3 YO every night too. We also have a 13 week old. I don't think you should consider it a problem unless you feel it is disrupting other things you need to get on with - you can guarantee he won't need you to get him off to sleep when he's 30!

LullabyCuddles Fri 10-Oct-08 19:24:33

i sit near my daughter till she falls asleep she sometimes like me to read to her.
but when i worked in a private day nursery children would still be patted gently to sleep.

LynetteScavo Fri 10-Oct-08 19:28:41

WE sit with DD until she's asleep, and DS2, who is 5.

Ds1 is 9 and has self sufficient at going to sleep by himsleft, so it's not forever!

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