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Parenting

Do you ever let your children out of your sight? (follow on thread from the Under what circumstances...)

59 replies

thesleepingbeauty · 30/09/2008 21:14

Sorry, but I think it was getting a bit confusing.
The original post (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/67/617524) generated a lot of discussion, but what I found most interesting was the idea that some parents do not let their children out of their sight at all, even around the house.

Mine is often playing in his room or living room (or bathroom!) while I am cooking / cleaning/ on the loo etc which means there are times, often minutes, in which I cannot see him, and in which, technically, anything could happen.

Is this neglectful? I thought it was normal.

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 30/09/2008 21:18

Yeah. All the time. In the house.

It's a bungalow.

DD1 goes to nursery all day but the house isn't open plan and I need to get on with things so often enough DD2 is in the living room whilst I am in the kitchen doing stuff.

The room is pretty cold and I can usually hear her chattering away.

Today she went into their bedroom for quite a while whilst I was folding and putting away clothes and doing the ironing.

I checked on her periodically.

The washing line in the back garden is up a hill a bit so I leave the back door open whilst I peg out or bring the clothes in.

Sometimes she comes along.

Twelvelegs · 30/09/2008 21:18

It is not neglectful, it is life. I can always see or hear my children when they are in the house. Technically not anything can happen.

CountessDracula · 30/09/2008 21:19

even around the house???
how odd

TurkeyLurkey · 30/09/2008 21:19

What age are we talking about?

Twelvelegs · 30/09/2008 21:20

CD, who are you asking?

lal123 · 30/09/2008 21:21

in the house of course.

When we were on hols in Spain this summer DD(4) often disappeared off with the dc of the friends we were visiting. I was very uncomfortable at first when I didn't have her in sight, but the other kids are well known and other adults were looking out for them. She loved having the freedom.

Seuss · 30/09/2008 21:21

Depends a bit what age. Mine are all over 3 and can go where they want - tend to stick together quite a bit though. I was a bit precious when they were new to stair climbing but if we were all on the same floor I didn't stress too much.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 30/09/2008 21:22

I frequently send them out of my sight. It helps with my blood pressure.

CountessDracula · 30/09/2008 21:22

the OP

your post wasn't there when I clicked

CountessDracula · 30/09/2008 21:22

o yes mine is 6

justneedsomesleep · 30/09/2008 21:23

my dd will be 3 in january and often plays in her room and playroom by herself and in the garden too. Obviously i keep checking and listening - not like i leave her for hours! More often than not,it feels like she's chekcing on me and has told me to #get out her room' on more than one ocassion!

My ds turned one yesterday and in the past couple of weeks i can leave him and sister in the lounge playing together or upstairs (this is only 10 mins or so at a time) - just while i quickly hoover or put bins out/hang washing out etc.

It's not a big house and I can hear them (and have monitor)-can tell fake cries from real ones.

However would never ever leave them alone while i went to shop etc.

cheesesarnie · 30/09/2008 21:23

yes.but mine are 8,7 and 2.i am in the house,they are in the house.i can hear them,they can get to me.

FanjolinaJolly · 30/09/2008 21:23

Mine play around the house.Maybe I am a neglectful parent but I even let dd (Who is disabled both physically and intellectually) crawl up the stairs on her own and shuffle around upstairs for a wee time as she can't walk yet without aids.All medicnes/cleaners etc out of reach and sockets are covered.Usually if I creep up she is looking at her reflection in the mirror Yesterday she managed to find a stray toilet roll and was happy shredding it to bits looking most pleased.I don't call it neglectful parenting I call it "Independent learning" obviously cos of her situation I would not leave her for long but I honestly think she enjoys these little forays into her environment.She looked SO happy,destroying the toilet roll with fierce concentration and more than a glimmer of naughtiness on her face

rookiemater · 30/09/2008 21:24

I haven't looked at the original thread, but yes of course. DS is 2.5 and he is often playing with his lego in the conservatory or running round the house. TBH I would go mad with boredom if I had to spend every waking moment in the same room as him.

CountessDracula · 30/09/2008 21:24

I let mine go out of my sight to buy an ice cream on Sunday. Sophable and I were sitting on a rug with the dog and she went round the other side of a little pavillion and bought her own (while I hyperventilated)

CountessDracula · 30/09/2008 21:25

When I was her age I ran away from home for a morning and no-one noticed I had gone (much to my chagrin)

cheesesarnie · 30/09/2008 21:25

this is the original thread.

MrsMattie · 30/09/2008 21:27

In our house, yes (he is 3.7 yrs old), but I don't like him playing on a different floor to me, especially upstairs. He plays in the living room when I'm in the kitchen, though, and potters up to his room to get toys or to the loo and then back down again.

I don't leave him unattended in the garden for too long - always keep an eye on him from kitchen if I am busy in the house - just because he is such a little monkey.

I don't leave him alone in the house ever.

I am nervous (I admit, over-cautious) about leaving him unattended in other people's houses, as I don't know how sensible others are with keeping upstairs windows locked / storing cleaning products etc - stuff that can cause common household accidents.

Plonker · 30/09/2008 21:27

Really? Some parents never let their dc's out of their sight? How can that work? I must have missed that thread ...

To answer your q - obv its very age-related and whilst i don't leave dd3 alone ever (unless she is in her cot and i know she is safe), i do let dd1 (8) and dd2 (5) out of my sight and would consider it unhealthy to follow them round all the time.

Dd2 gets less freedom than dd1, obviously, but in situations such as at a soft play centre, i see no need to follow her around and would be a bit at parents who do.

I don't follow them around the house, but do check very regularly on dd2 who is a bit of a, ahem, mischief maker.

And i would say that i'm actually a little over-protective at the best of times ...

thesleepingbeauty · 30/09/2008 21:34

A selection of quotes from the original thread which made me start up this one:

"DS is with me in the bathroom while I shower, and comes into the bedroom while I dry my hair/dress/wrestle with him over hairbrush.
This stuff isn't hard. "

"He's only 18 months old FFS, I'm not going to leave him on his own in the house whether I am in it or not, anything could happen to him. "

"It drives me mad, but I am a single mum and my kids are always in my sight. Dd especially.
I'd love to go to the loo in peace but its not really possible."

"No I never leave my child unattended. She goes off in the garden but I sit and watch her, she eats in her highchair whilst I clean, really not difficult. We also co-sleep. She is 21m. An extreme maybe but that is just the way we do it. Not for everyone. "

OP posts:

Twelvelegs · 30/09/2008 21:37

thesleepingbeauty.... why are you trying to justify your own actions or intentions by atempting to make others look hysterical?

cheesesarnie · 30/09/2008 21:38

exactly Twelvelegs.quite funny in a way.

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Twelvelegs · 30/09/2008 21:40

better if I'd spelt attempting right!!

spicemonster · 30/09/2008 21:43

My DS (18 months) is on his own a lot. I'm a single mother and I have a full-time job. I have to get us both ready for work every morning so he plays while I shower and get dressed. He also goes out in the garden on his own and I don't watch him every second.

FWIW I was one of those people who said they wouldn't leave a baby in the house and get in my car.

FanjolinaJolly · 30/09/2008 21:43

I think that maybe the more kids you have,and the older they get you worry a bit less as they (usually) have more understanding.I can leave DS nearly 5 to play in his room or the garden (It is fully enclosed) and not worry.dd is a bit different cos of her SN but I still wouldn't wrap her up in cotton wool,otherwise how would she ever learn anything?I would get nothing done,either.I certainly wouldn't leave her for a long time.Recently she has learned to come downstairs on her bottom step by step.I have to supervise this as she is new to it,but if I don't allow her SOME freedom it would be detrimental to her and she is fiercely independent in her own way.It would give the in-laws kittens if they knew (They are SOO precious its scary) but I feel it is important to her to have some freedom to learn about the world.

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