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Was returning to work the wrong decision?

(6 Posts)
MarlaSinger Thu 25-Sep-08 12:00:25

My DS is 11 months, and I have been back at work for a month. He's in nursery 3 days a week and after lots of settling in sessions it seemed to be going well.

But he is waking loads at night (loads more than normal anyway - still not sleeping through) and crying a lot more. This morning I took him to a signing class and I think he thought it was like nursery - he cried as soon as we got there, thinking I would leave maybe?

I am happy with the nursery and the standard of care, and he has grown very close to his keyworker.

But is he just too young for this? Should he be with me?

I have mixed feelings about work. I am committed for 12 weeks regardless as per my contract and maternity pay. It's not great, it's nice to have a break and I feel I am better with DS on the days we're together - but am I letting him down?

Bramshott Thu 25-Sep-08 12:08:53

You are NOT letting your DS down by working.

However, it may be that nursery doesn't suit him, or that he's still settling in - after all, a month is a very short time. It may be that his nighttime waking and reaction to the signing class is to do with nursery and separation anxiety, but alternatively he could be teething, and could have been anxious about the signing class because it was a new and unfamiliar setting.

If I were you I'd see where you're at after 12 weeks and then you can make a decision about whether you want to carry on working at this stage, and whether nursery is the best setting for your DS or whether maybe he'd be happier in a home-based setting with a childminder.

RubySlippers Thu 25-Sep-08 12:12:33

i really think you need to give yourselves a little bit longer

i went back to work when DS was 6 months old and it took around 3 months for us all to settle into a good routine and it sounds like you need to give it that long anyway

no-one can tell you and your family if you have made the right decisions for your circumstances

i think you need to be a little kinder to yourself and take each day as it comes

FWIW, my DS would probably have cried at a baby signing class smile

tonton Thu 25-Sep-08 12:21:41

You are not letting anyone down. Give it time. No solution is perfect - you just do what needs to be done for you and your family at that time.
I went back after 2 months with dd1 (4 days a week) and back fulltime after 6 months with dd2 (fulltime).
Nothing is easy or perfect. But I'm sure things will get better for you as you get more used to it.
Good luck! smile

bigTillyMint Thu 25-Sep-08 12:50:18

I found both mine settled well into nursery 3 days a week at 6mths, but friends with older babies said the babies were more knowing and therefore it was more difficult.

I agree that it will get better over time, as he settles into a routine, but babies and children feel your emotions, so if you are feeling upset and uneasy with it all, then he may be picking up on it?

scattyspice Thu 25-Sep-08 13:00:42

Don't forget that babies get more clingy at this age anyway (whether you are by their side 24hrs/day or not!). Both of my children became worse sleepers as they became more mobile so this may be happening too.

If the staff report he is content at nursery then he probably is and if he appears fine when you go to get him (before he sees you) then he is probably fine.

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