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Please help me answer Flamechick's question - "Why doesn't X want to be my friend, when will he again?"

(11 Posts)
DrHorrible Tue 23-Sep-08 17:59:12

X was her friend in preschool and for the first term of reception. They were inseparable.

He then realised she was a girl/realised she is a bit quirky/was a 5 yr old boy - I dunno, but whatever, he decided the friendship was over.

12 months on she is still upset by it

I don't know what to say, how to fix it, or generally how to make my baby feel better. She has other new friends, but none with that same passion.

DrHorrible Tue 23-Sep-08 19:38:47


DrHorrible Tue 23-Sep-08 22:29:43

No-one have any advice for this situation?

DeJaVous Tue 23-Sep-08 22:34:40

Awww, poor wee flamechicksad I really don't know what to suggest, have you tried explaining it )a bit) like you did to us?

hester Tue 23-Sep-08 22:37:46

Oh, how sad. I don't know what to suggest - haven't been there (yet) but I don't know that there is much you CAN do to fix it.

Do you think your dd's reaction is excessive? Are you worried about her for any other reason?

So sad for your dd - really hope she'll feel better soon.

DeJaVous Tue 23-Sep-08 22:40:28

You DD has a touch of AS doesn't she? Sorry if I'm wrongblush

I have a friend with AS and it takes him an awfully long time to get over things like this. Not really a fair comparison though, he's 38hmm

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Sep-08 22:42:38

Awww sad

It's so hard to deal with isnt it?

All you can do is acknowledge her feelings, say to her "it must make you feel very sad", and allow her to talk about how she feels.

At another time, start to talk to her about what she'd like to happen re making friends at school. Consider outside school activities if she's not doing any so she can make friends elsewhere.

sleepycat Tue 23-Sep-08 22:45:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrHorrible Tue 23-Sep-08 23:10:21

Yup, she does have a bit of AS about her DJV

She's ok for new friends, she just misses him. Not helped by him having gone very boyish (hair pulling etc - he'd probably be buying her drinks if they were adults wink).

Will try and explain it in an adult way - she responds better to that (saying he is being silly will either lead to whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy or her going in and telling everyone that "My mum says you're silly" blush).

JodieG1 Tue 23-Sep-08 23:12:29

Nothing you can do really, children make their own friendships and not all last. Maybe explain that instead, some friendships will last and some won't.

Dd has been through the same, it's a normal part of life for us all.

stealthsquiggle Tue 23-Sep-08 23:19:45

Poor flamechick sad.

My DS is (bless him) holding out against being told that 'girls can't be friends' but I notice a lot of the boys have gone that way. Is he not prepared to be friends at all, or just not at school? Might he be OK if you invited him round?

As for explaining - not sure. "These things happen and no-one really knows why" isn't really going to cut it with a literal minded AS-inclined child, is it?

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