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3rd Child or bad idea?

(41 Posts)
szturner Tue 23-Sep-08 17:32:58

I have a DS who's 3 and a DD who's 20 months and I love them to bits eventhough they are constantly at each others throats! Would it be a bad idea to have a third? What are the con's of having a 3rd child - transport, holidays etc. Does 3 mean that there is always one left out? Please help me, I don't want to make a mistake hmm We were planning on booking my DH for the snip but I couldn't go ahead as not 100% my DH is also sitting on the fence. Any advise would be greatly appreciated grin

ChubbyDick Tue 23-Sep-08 17:38:51

I am one of 3 and it was great when one sister was being a cow to me as the there was always the other one to play with grin

LouMacca Tue 23-Sep-08 17:40:36

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LouMacca Tue 23-Sep-08 17:41:33

TBH i think if you are questioning if it's a good idea you probably aren't ready.

Are you feeling broody?

3 children under the age of 4 would be very hard work. Why not enjoy the two you already have?

cluckyagain Tue 23-Sep-08 17:45:27

Was very much like you.

Cons - if you have 3, may as well have 4 as holidays (3rd room), people carrier (car seats don;t fit), restaurant tables (for 6), airline seats (not in a 5) etc., Blooming expensive, can't go back to work til kids are at school (if it bothers you as a SAHM!)
Pros - def have 2 of one sort (I had one of each and was disappointed as wanted to see what 2 of the same sort looked like!), lovely to have a bigger family, avoided the 'perfect 2+2 family' - although this could be a con too - it's just too perfect!

Hideous first yr, lovely since then (but really, really expensive now that all want to do activities, etc, etc!) Didn;t regret the 3rd - if I had more money I would have had 4 xx

cluckyagain Tue 23-Sep-08 17:46:08

P.S. Mine play together - never one left out, although dd1 didn't forgive dd2 for being born for about 2 yrs!

szturner Wed 24-Sep-08 13:38:17

Yes I am feeling broody but never been good at making decissions!! I think 'cluckyagain' confirmed all my fears but are all of these outweighed when your handed the little bundle of joy! Then again the words of 'LouMacca', am I being selfish wanting another and you probably are right about enjoying the 2 I already have wink

MamaG Wed 24-Sep-08 13:41:00

I always decided to stop at 2

Now pg with No 3 grin

sweetkitty Wed 24-Sep-08 13:45:03

I would describe it as an overwhelming feeling that someone is missing from around the dinner table. DD3 is 10 weeks now and fits in just perfectly and is adored by her big sisters. I have 3 DDs in 5 days short of 4 years, yes very hard work but love it and hope they will be close growing up.

Now I am thinking well I have 3 might as well have 4 shock

Egg Wed 24-Sep-08 13:51:21

I always wanted three children, then having had DS1 and seeing how much hard work having one DC was we decided that two would be plenty for us! Then we got twins so have three anyway.

They are of course all lovely, but I would still have chosen to only have two, although love them all to death and am grateful and proud to have them.

We find things like swimming impossible (although all our DC are still young, DS1 is 2.5 and DTs are 8.5 months) as not enough adults to hold each child. Can't go out with child seat on back of each bike etc. Need a bigger car, do not ever dare attempt getting on a plane (thinking it would have been easiest with younger non-mobile babies than it will be with three toddlers) etc etc. But these are not reasons enough to not have a third child, and a lot of our reasons are because we have three still so young and so close together.

Would definitely not get your DH snipped yet though! Even my DH is not going for it despite us both agreeing he would as long as twins born safe and sound as it is a bit drastic.

FioFio Wed 24-Sep-08 13:55:58

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MamaG Wed 24-Sep-08 15:24:49

<grabs fio - thank God you said that>

FioFio Wed 24-Sep-08 17:22:34

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Trafficcone Wed 24-Sep-08 17:26:24

We have 3 (trying for 4) and I can't see any negatives except maybe the boys having to share as we can't afford a 4 bed house, but tbh they don't mind that so why should I?

Pheebe Wed 24-Sep-08 17:40:44

Apparently one of the most ecofriendly things we can do these days is stop at 2 kids so we're only replacing ourselves and not contributing to an expanding global population.

I still desperately want a third, DH doesn't sad

JacobImprintedOnMENotNessie Wed 24-Sep-08 17:41:53

Erm, I have questioned both of mine and the idea of a third....

JacobImprintedOnMENotNessie Wed 24-Sep-08 17:42:54

Oh and eco friendly - have the third and just use cloth nappies wink

FioFio Wed 24-Sep-08 17:46:34

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Pheebe Wed 24-Sep-08 21:45:23

Good idea FioFio, my sis is currently childless and likely to remain so if she has anything to do with it, I could use her quota smile

loler Wed 24-Sep-08 22:14:02

No.3 was the most fantastic thing in the whole world - he is the most smilie ball of fun that everyone has fallen in love with.

The first year has been a breeze (dd was just 4 when ds2 born) - realised that the only thing that mattered was having fun with my kids so house work suffered (in this a con?) and became more selfish with my time.

Have just gone back to work - this is do-able (have no local family and dh works away) but have been finding this the hardest thing so far - guess it will get easier as I get used to it.

Our no.3 counts as DH best friends as they aren't having any!

FioFio Thu 25-Sep-08 08:34:51

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lou031205 Thu 25-Sep-08 08:43:01

Terrible for the economy to stop at two though.

georgimama Thu 25-Sep-08 09:00:48

You're not replacing yourselves if you only have 2 though, so many people don't have children at all or only have 1 that population will shrink if more people don't have 3+ children.

I would love three, I am one of three so I think it is a "normal" sized family. When I was a child I noticed that my friends who just had one other sibling tended not to get on with them - seemed very sad to me.

I only have DS at the moment and number 2 will be a while yet, I have time to work on DH!

berolina Thu 25-Sep-08 09:09:31

awwwwww Fio

I have 2 (3.4 and just turned 1) and both rationally hmm and emotionally want no. 3. We are going to wait another 6 months to a year, possibly longer, but it is definitely on the agenda. transport and holidays not such an issue as we are car-free and holidays for us are generally visiting grandparents in UK/staying with friends.

mellyonion Thu 25-Sep-08 09:18:03

we have 3, now ages 7, 4 and 2....its fab...i have really enjoyed having my third...i'm much more confident third time around.....the thing is...i'm missing a number 4.....hmm

do it...hard work? yes, but soooo worth every moment!

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