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Feeling guilty for being such a grumpym stroppy mum

(7 Posts)
MrsSnape Sun 21-Sep-08 00:05:50

I just seem to constantly snap at my eldest son and call him lazy and get on at him to "pay attention" to things and "wake up" (he's a bit dithery). Earlier on he was doing his homework and I got cross at him because he'd scribbled 3 words out in the space of a sentance and it looked a mess. I then whinged that what he was writing was babyish and he should "think more" etc etc etc...

Anyway he's obviously asleep now and I came across some 'tribute' pages in the city website and one of them was a page long of trbutes for a boy that died from DS's school 3 years ago...he was the same age as DS is now when he died suddenly and it just brings it home how petty and pointless it is getting stressed over homework and whatever else seems like a major drama at the time sad

I keep thinking if something happened suddenly to him like it did with this other lad, would I have to remember our last conversation as "stop being lazy, your homework is a mess, think about what you're doing blah blah blah"

Does anyone else have moments like this?

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 21-Sep-08 00:09:43

Sometimes, yes.

Can you ease back on the micro management and critiscism?

Look for the good, and try (yeah, I know) not to sweat about the small stuff.

Parenting sucks sometimes.

gigglewitch Sun 21-Sep-08 00:25:40

grumpy n stroppy is the only sort of mum there is, when it comes to homework i think hmm

When you get on a bit of a guilt-trip then it does all seem pointless i agree, but you only grumble at him because you love him so much - have had a similar conversation recently with 7yo ds1, when he says "why do you tell me to stop doing bla" and the answer has to be 'cos i love you'. If i didn't care then he could obv do what he wanted. Might be worth an extra hug with him in the morning and say that you didn't mean to criticise him, just want him to do his best work smile
With a mum as clued-up as you he will be able to understand this in the way that it's intended.

sumcq Mon 22-Sep-08 18:58:12

at least you care. you sound fine to me - the very fact that you are considering your own behavior shows you aren't being mean, you just love him. dont beat yourself up grin

RaggedRobin Mon 22-Sep-08 22:41:58

i was a grumpy mum today too. i'll be giving out some extra hugs tomorrow as well.

Joolyjoolyjoo Mon 22-Sep-08 22:49:45

Oh I do this- grump and tut, and then feel bad! Both my dds seem to be really clumsy sometimes, which I should be understanding of, given that I am hardly Little Miss Nimble! But I find myself grumbling at them- even when they have hurt themselves, I hear myself saying "You need to be more careful!" before feeling guilty and dealing out a hug sad.

lilmissmummy Mon 22-Sep-08 22:58:05

I was grumpy mum with ds aged 7 today over homework.

I felt really bad- had some timeout for myself and dh had to take over. Once I calmed down I gave him a hug and told him it was only because I care and that I was sorry.

I think it was mainly PMT for me and laziness for DS... not a good combination


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