A-hah! Another step mum with crazy expectations, just like me! I expect an 11year old to be able to use a knife and fork properly too, how bonkers am I!!!
Yes I think she should be able to do all of the above, perhaps with a bit of reminding, until she gets herself into the swing of things, as it's all very new.
BUT if at all possible get her Dad to remind her of these things and to keep on top of it. Of course you want her to go to school in clean clothes, with brushed teeth etc. but don't take it on personally if you know what I mean - you may be seen as a horrible nag and that could create it's own ishoos...
Reasonable time for bed, tbh I dunno, every kid is different I suppose, as long as she appears rested and refreshed in the morning. My SIL's daughter, 12, needs 12hours!
No harm in playing with her mates, as long as she's in for tea and homework etc.
I wouldn't have done any of that without being reminded.
I know the world and his dog will come and say of course she should do it, but I just didn't. I couldn't. I had my head in the clouds and in all honesty wouldn't have remembered without prompting until I was about 14, when I started caring.
Maturity levels vary, remember. A child can be physically very mature but this is no indicator of emotional maturity.
I was in exactly the same place 12 months ago, even down to the knife and fork!
Work at it slowly and with stealth! A year on a lot of things have improved, she still can't be arsed to hang her uniform up but I think gradually their sense of what's important becomes more like yours.
Re school - at that age it was bed at 9:30pm, light off by 10:00pm.
Its only now, reading this thread, thatI've realised that I've stopped nagging DD to clean her teeth! She 13 in a couple of weeks! Like everyone else, clothes don't get hung up, but that's her look out. If she goes to school looking crumpled and the boys laugh at her, its not my problem. Pick your battles, as someone once said to me on here. A very good peice of advice, I might add! She'll learn.
Re: bedtime and going out. DD goes up at 9 for the night, but she's allowed to wind down and drop off in her own time. She is not allowed back downstairs after 9 though. I don't let her go out during the school week either, unless its a special occasion.