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I cannot encourage my dd1 to do her 10 mins reading or practice her times tables with me so I have decided to stop asking her to do it

(164 Posts)
PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:37:05

as I am absolutely sick of badgering her to read (the school asks that they read aloud for 10 mins every day). She hates it. And she fusses every time I remind her to practice her times tables. She is almost 9, in year 4

so I have given up and told her that I have given up, I have said if she wants me to listen or help I will, but from now on I am not going to remind her.

Is that sensible or crap and defeatist?

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:38:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmugColditz Tue 16-Sep-08 11:38:04

Um.

I think it's crap, sorry.

Can't you pay her 10p a day, to be spent on sweets on friday?

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:38:50

I have tried everything.

They get a star from school if they read 5 x a week - three stars mean a chocolate and a 'big up'. She says she doesnt care.

CarGirl Tue 16-Sep-08 11:39:45

Can you do the, "you know you have to do this every day, what time would you like to do it, that is your choice - have a think and let me know" give her a bit of power over the situation?

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:39:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmugColditz Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:10

ah

Ok, fair enough.

does she have a younger sister? could you make a big deal about how the little one is practicing so well she'll overtake the big one soon?

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:18

She has hated reading from reception, its been a struggle every bleeding night and I am, frankly, sick of it.

Last night she said that she had told her teacher that the reason that she didnt have 5 signatures in her reading book was that I was too busy to listen

angry

this is a complete lie.

Cappuccino Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:36

oh, crap, homework

you are talking to completely teh wrong person

the only way I have found to even half work is to set out a particular time of the day for homework and practisy stuff; we come home from school, have cake, and then get the lot out while she is still pinned in to the table

When I say half works I mean it, it is by no means a great solution

I also found that sitting down with her and asking her if she would like to choose from her parents' differing strategies worked

Mum: got in from school, did homework, went off to play [swot]
Dad: got in from school, faffed around, left it till last minute, didn't finish it

she chose my method. I keep reminding her of that at these delightful table times that we have. However dh now feels he is being punished for something he did 30 years ago

ah well

LadyMuck Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:40

I'm sorry Enid, I can't remember whether dd1 was struggling or not. If she is, then I would alert the teacher to your change of tack. I agree that there is nothing more soul-destroying than to force a reluctant child into something they hate. But the teacher should also be thinking as to why she isn't motivated.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:40:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:41:20

colditz the little one is almost overtakign her already - she is a very good reader at 5 (ort level 8)

she hates it adn would be v hurt if I mentioned it

Oliveoil Tue 16-Sep-08 11:41:55

iirc she had/has problems reading and may be not wanting to do as she thinks she is 'rubbish'

I have this problem with dd1 atm (nearly 6, yr1)

what does she really really really want most in the world? can you work towards earning points for it for Christmas?

bribery may work

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:42:06

I have told teacher

she thinks sensible

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:42:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cappuccino Tue 16-Sep-08 11:42:59

with the reading dh has a good strategy

she wants us to read her books eg Harry Potter, Dr Who, High School Musical (some neighbour bought her that angryangry)

we read her books

then we say now it's your turn, read me a story, and we lie down with our eyes closed and our hands behind our heads

no more Harry Potter for you my lady

and I stare dreamily at the picture of David Tennant on my reading book till she starts on into whatever tat she has brought home from school

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:43:15

yy oo I am sure a lot is confidence

also really really not wanting to work at home

funnily enough she positively enjoys doing her matsh homework as she does it at her desk with a mug of cocoa and a biscut and I leave her to it

SmugColditz Tue 16-Sep-08 11:43:28

Ohhhhh this is so hard for you, maybe this is why she is losing motivation, she feels that her sister is doing better anyway, and it would be easier to give up and be crap?

Could you sell it to her as special time, just you and her, then you'll read her a favourite story, or play Polly Pockets etc (you can tell i only have small boys!)

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:44:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oliveoil Tue 16-Sep-08 11:44:27

dd1 cries when I get her book out atm (which makes me feel like Cruella) but we plod on

bribery at the moment is Super Readers on NickJr at 6.30pm - no reading, no crap tv hmm

what is she interested in? dd1 is currently consumed by space and I have orderered some moon walk stuff from amazon

PoorOldEnid Tue 16-Sep-08 11:44:36

capp thats what we used to do

I read every night (little hosue on prairie currently, v good)

she used to read after that but she now says she is too tired and has a headache and cant possibly read

Cappuccino Tue 16-Sep-08 11:44:43

Enid I do feel your pain however

dd1 is not motivated or particularly good at reading

I think one of the issues is her reading is not good enough to let her keep up with the story iyswim

one thing we did used to do a while back - till I got sick of it for some reason - was read a page each, and then the story moved on a bit faster for her

frogs Tue 16-Sep-08 11:45:01

God, I so know how you feel. Ds has refused to read aloud to me, so the teacher has given him permission to read his own books and write it up the reading record himself.

For maths practice (and boy does he need to practice) we use the woodlands junior school site. There are others as well, but don't know the URLs offhand.

Any good to you?

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:45:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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