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PANIC!..My 5 yr old DD just brought home a letter from school..she's starting to go swimming NEXT WEEK!

51 replies

PinkChick · 15/09/2008 16:09

Panic!!..i obv have PFB syndrome as ive not had any help with dd from birth (dad and i together but im a do things myself and my way kind of person and although he does do normal dad stuff, im the one who takes her to school etc as i work from home)

We try to take her swimming every weekend as she did have some lessons and teacher was old dragon who half terified her when she was worried about swimming on her back..reult-dd now gets upset if she has to swim on back!

DD can swim really well with arm bands on, but being a worrier (and a childminder who has to work towards ratio's) i'm stressing about her being ok, being helped to get changed (as i always get her dry/changed and they i do myself) and being safe poolside as they cant take their own armbands as they use pools own.

School have strangley become very lax with communication this term so no idea what they do or dont do to help them but there will be approx 20 children there, 5 and 6 yr olds..can any one help me stop worrying and reassure me it will be fine??

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iheartdusty · 15/09/2008 18:37

can you go along? don't know your circs but our school (also at 6 days' notice) have asked for parent helpers as they need 1:8 ratio.

they will have seen it all before at the pool, though, won't they! some children will be complete non swimmers, none of them will be great at getting dressed alone (will muck about and drop things), so your DD will have had a head start because she has not only i) been to a pool ii) been to swimming lessons, and iii) can swim really well with armbands on.

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amethyst86 · 15/09/2008 18:47

My ds has swimming lessons at school. Only 5 go in at a time with a teacher. DS loves it. I was like you though. I rang up the first morning to closely question the school secretary re safely procedure.

BTW at what age did you all start sending your kids to swimming lessons?

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zookeeper · 15/09/2008 18:53

How ridiculous - sorry but I think you're being very controlling and overreacting .

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NorthernLurker · 15/09/2008 18:57

Ok well sorry but I really think you need to get a grip here. Can you imagine how many risk assessments etc the school will have done for this sort of thing? They really can be trusted with your child. The great work you have done with her will giver her a head start and if she struggles to get changed herself well then she'll soon learn and you can help by picking things for her to wear that day that are easy to take on and off.
As a side issue - you might find you worried less if you let your dd's dad do some of the 'active' parenting too? What do you mean he doesn't help?

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Oblomov · 15/09/2008 18:58

You did admit that this was a PFB thing. Good god woman relax. Ds starts school tomorrow. He is starting swimming lessons next week. I will be taking him, but appparently lots of mums don't. Or son't stay. And the children are more than capable of dressing themselves. That is one of the requirements our school has. Able to change for PE. Plus they have someoen to help those that struggle. For gods sake, stop worrying.

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nannyL · 15/09/2008 19:31

my little charge is just 3 (ie 36 months)

apart from jumpers he can dress and un-dress himself, and put on his swimming trunks unaided.

By the time he starts school in (2 years time) and starts swimming lessons I (and his parents ) will ensure that he can do the whole lot by himself, as can his 5 year old brother

i think you are over reacting too.

Your daughter along with the rest of the class will be fine and have a great time

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PinkChick · 15/09/2008 20:25

Hi, dd is fully able to dress herself, its jsut always been easier (and quicker as our local pool changing rooms are freezing) to get dd dry and sorted when at swimming baths then i get myself done, so am worried she may be slower as im guessing from replys that most other children do this ALL the time?

my other concern was as a group of 5-6 yr olds they may mess around and the more confident ones shove others in (with no armbands on) always been a very un funny 'joke' thats happend to me at school.

an finally like i say as dd had lessons before and the old dame really shouted at her about putting her head back, she worries about that now, despite us taking her each week and going a little bit further each time..if they want them to do this straight away (as they did with our on lessons) it may put her off again?, its taken a long time to get her confident, i dont want to take steps backwards!..oh and after re reading the letter..its actually THIS wednesday not next!, no idea about parent helpers, i used to help out in reception, but work wednesdays, so at this short notice couldnt be available!?

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PinkChick · 15/09/2008 20:26

oh and i completely 'get' that i perhaps 'should' have been letting dd get on and dry/dress herself well before now, but i havent so this is why im concerned

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SoupDragon · 15/09/2008 20:28

what on earth makes you think a group of 5-6 year olds are going to be unsupervised in a pool to allow them to shove others in??

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SoupDragon · 15/09/2008 20:29

The society we live in is far more health and safety conscious. Overly do in some situations

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MaureenMLove · 15/09/2008 20:37

I think that's very young to start swimming lessons at school. I know that its part of the curriculum now, that children have to be able to swim 25 mtrs before they leave primary, but still..

I understand where you're coming from PC, but speak to the school tomorrow. I'm sure you're not the only parent with concerns.

I think I'd feel the same as you actually PC.

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Morloth · 15/09/2008 20:38

Jeez feel like a crap mother now! I sent my 4yo DS off to school with his swimming kit without a second thought.

We did swimming lessons for a bit when he was younger but he didn't really like them so I didn't worry about it too much.

I leave him with the school all day everyday - wouldn't do that if I didn't trust them to look after him.

He had a blast, managed to get himself dressed/undressed and learned quite a lot from the sounds of it.

Just relax she will figure it all out. You have to let her go now.

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Trafficcone · 15/09/2008 20:39

You're worrying over nothing.

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MaureenMLove · 15/09/2008 20:40

You needn't worry about whether you should or shouldn't have let her get on with dressing herself before now either! The times I have stood in the Infant playground, waiting for children and seen Reception and Yr1's come out with shoes on the wrong feet, or jumpers on inside out, because they had PE!

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traceybath · 15/09/2008 20:41

My DS had his first school swimming lesson last week aged 4 (just).

We had to say how good they were and give permission for someone to help get them changed into their trunks/costumes.

They went up to the big pool in the snr school in a minibus (v exciting) and then we met them afterwards in the changing room to help them get dressed/showered.

Seemed to be lots of staff around and they were being carefully watched as some children are now being moved groups depending how good they are.

It all went very well and i was worried as DS has only ever had 1:1 lessons before.

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Portofino · 15/09/2008 20:42

Mine's gone from age 3 with the holiday club. No arm bands allowed - just send them in with cossie, towel and a swimming cap. God know how they get them all dry and dressed but they do. DD has always had a whale of a time. I think she is much more capable of doing things than she lets on when I'm there to fuss over her.

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ivykaty44 · 15/09/2008 20:43

Plat the game - how quick can you get dressed dd with a prize at the end. Do this after bath time - bring bath time forward. Get her to get back in her school uniform.

Then you and her both will fell a little more confident about the changing pace.

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ivykaty44 · 15/09/2008 20:43

Play the game - how quick can you get dressed dd with a prize at the end. Do this after bath time - bring bath time forward. Get her to get back in her school uniform.

Then you and her both will fell a little more confident about the changing pace.

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ivykaty44 · 15/09/2008 20:43

Play the game - how quick can you get dressed dd with a prize at the end. Do this after bath time - bring bath time forward. Get her to get back in her school uniform.

Then you and her both will fell a little more confident about the changing pace.

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AMumInScotland · 15/09/2008 20:45

Relax - she will be fine, and it will be a chance for her to learn to manage these things without you. If the children mess about, the teacher will put a stop to it straight off, they won't allow shoving or other nonsense.

On a broader scale, I do think you need to learn to let go a little - believe it or not, other people are able to look after children too!

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bobsyouruncle · 15/09/2008 20:47

I think its young to go swimming with school, and was panicking reading your post wondering if dd (also 5) will be going soon too! She has hardly been swimming at all and is very nervous and wants alot of help in and out of the water. I'd definitely have to be a parent helper - if they wanted any or not!

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christywhisty · 15/09/2008 21:57

A lot of dc's put on acts for their parents and are fine without them,especially when they are with their friends.
The first thing they will do at the lessons is assess them and group them according to ability and confidence.

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Smithagain · 15/09/2008 22:01

If she's been swimming on a weekly basis with you, she will be streets ahead of some of her class. Relax. They won't expect miracles and they will have done plenty of risk assessments.

It will be fine.

PS my daughter was swimming with the school at four.

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PinkChick · 16/09/2008 08:20

thankyou for so many really helpful tips..i know im not alone in my worry as i breifly spoke to one or two other mums last night.

we did actually do 'see how fast you can get dressed' after bath last night funnily enough..and dd took flaming ages as she was nattering!..but am guessing she will speed up when with school plus its freezing in changing rooms so that will spur her on

since start of new term school has changed policies somewhat so i cant actually go into have a quick word with her teacher this morn, so have wrote a quick note saying "dd can swim with armbands but x happend in her lessons so shes now uneasy about doing this, just to give you a quick heads up so you know if she looks a little worried"
will take it to office to pass on as letter did say to let them know if any concerns or info they may need, in a class of over 20 children, im sure a bit of info will help

dd however is very excited about it all (so i do do a good job of hiding my cottonwool bearing stressyness) as they go on school coach and she wants to help the other hildren who cant swim so good by holding their hand!..ive told her this isnt such a good idea as they need both hands to help them keep afloat!..ah, she means well.

Thanks again everyone, nice to see im not alone and thankyou for putting me at ease a little

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PinkChick · 16/09/2008 08:20

and Hi Mo!!.xxx

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