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Sleep - dd won't let me out of her sight at bedtime

(15 Posts)
tiredandgrumpy Fri 12-Sep-08 20:30:44

She's nearly 2 1/2 and has recently developed a really annoying problem. She won't let me out of her room at bedtime - I have to have a 'little sleep' next to her until she's asleep. She has been able to settle herself, although she's always been a reluctant sleeper. She's taking so long to get to sleep at night that she's now getting grumpy during the day.

I have an older child and I do remember having to sleep train him at this age, when he went through a phase of always getting out of bed. DD, however, is unresponsive to this treatment as she gets herself worked up into such a state she's nearly hysterical.

I don't think there's anything bothering her. she's not ill and our bedtime routine hasn't otherwise changed. Does anyone have any suggestions I can try? She's a manipulative little minx.

fizzbuzz Fri 12-Sep-08 21:21:07

I have one of these, currently under discussion.here <sigh>

I am totally fed up of it too sad

Elibean Fri 12-Sep-08 22:52:03

I have a 21 month old version. It started on holiday, when she was ill and understandably anxious and disorientated...am trying to get out of the habit now.

That said, she's not reluctant to sleep - unless she's had too long a nap. Does yours nap, tiredandgrumpy?

I too have an older child, and I think she went through this phase and re-settled with time - I did nothing. But I can't do that with two, so am doing a version of pickup/putdown: I go out, come back in and quiet her, go back out, etc etc till she goes to sleep or gives up yelling. Its hard though!

juuule Sat 13-Sep-08 08:55:09

Keep her with you?
Stay with her till she falls asleep?

There obviously is something bothering her even if it's the thought of being left alone.

Similar problem discussed on this thread with some good advice off different posters.

It will pass but some children go through phases where they need the reassurance of a parent's presence.

TooTicky Sat 13-Sep-08 09:09:36

I'd stay with her. Giving her the reassurance she needs now will help her develop more confidence. And make her hapy of course smile

Elibean Sat 13-Sep-08 09:55:25

Yes, that was my thinking with #1, but its just not possible with #2 as #1 is tired and needing to go to bed too - and has just started school, so needs her mummy at bedtime. Very tricky.

juuule Sat 13-Sep-08 10:21:54

Elibean - Are they in the same bedroom?

mrsruffallo Sat 13-Sep-08 10:34:38

Try gradual withdrawal- sit on the edge of the bed, then a chair, then near the door, then stand near the door.
A few days at eachh stage should be appropriate

Smee Sat 13-Sep-08 11:14:38

I used to make excuses to nip out - eg: just going to get a cup of tea and I'll be straight back. If she screetches doing htat, just nip into the next room and come straight back - ie show her that it's no big deal and you're there. Then stretch it, so I'm just sorting the washing in our bedroom, going to the loo, fetching something from the kitchen. At first I came straight back so he accepted I would, then when he relaxed I'd leave it longer and longer. After a while I'd got it up to 10 minutes and he was mostly asleep by the time I'd returned.

Elibean Sat 13-Sep-08 16:00:59

juuule, no, no room, though we may move soon and if we do, its an option. Also had chat with dd1 about maybe going to bed at the same time, with a book together etc, but she really really wants her half hour 'with the grown ups' and its not a good time to take that away, I think.

Still, dd2 doesn't do badly - I take half an hour to read to her, rock her, put her to bed, and she is never left yelling (its more yelling than crying!) for more than a few minutes on her own. But its v hard work some nights hmm

Elibean Sat 13-Sep-08 16:01:26

Smee, thats exactly what I did with dd1 smile

tiredandgrumpy Sat 13-Sep-08 19:34:05

Thanks for your advice. I was worried that by resting with her, I'd be giving in and she would learn she always got what she wanted. The trouble is, that with me next to her, it often takes best part of an hour for her to get to sleep, so I lose a large chunk of my evening.

She does still have an earlier nap, but we do keep it to 1 hour as we've noticed it affects settling later on. Without a nap she is horrible, so I don't think she's quite ready to drop it.

fizzbuzz Sun 14-Sep-08 20:50:42

We are still trying with dd after putting her to bed at 6:50pm.

Am going to doctors for sedative tomorrow asI am so bloody pissed off with weeks of this shit.

Will get one for dd as wellwink

tiredandgrumpy Mon 15-Sep-08 16:22:10

hope you got her to sleep eventually fizzbuzz. How did you get on at doc's today?

dd is still being difficult, but now I've decided to just lie with her, at least the stress of the tantrums is over.

fizzbuzz Mon 15-Sep-08 21:06:31

No appt available.

Still at it tonight after bed at 6.30. Lying with her makes her giddy, so have had to give that up.

Hope yours is better

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