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My 4yr old obsessed with death and what happens after

(7 Posts)
sleepycat Thu 11-Sep-08 22:24:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avenanap Thu 11-Sep-08 22:26:40

I told ds that people never really die. They are remembered by people they love and have affected so they never really die. Therir spirit moves on to somewhere else and their body is just a shell.

sleepycat Thu 11-Sep-08 22:28:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avenanap Thu 11-Sep-08 22:29:45


frasersmummy Thu 11-Sep-08 22:39:27

our first ds was stillborn and we have been taking his little brother to visit his garden since he waa a baby..

so we have had lots of questions re this ..and you are right its very very hard

we tried a few explanations but the one that he seems to have grasped is this

we have told him that his big brothers body is buried in his garden but that his little cheeeky bit (soul) is with the angels in heaven

somoneone recommended a book to me called pip at the edge of heaven.. but it seems to be really hard to get a hold of

hope that helps a little bit

AbbeyA Fri 12-Sep-08 08:28:25

I think avenanap has a good way of putting it, I say something very similar.

Elibean Fri 12-Sep-08 09:39:48

Am much in your shoes belief-wise, and dd1 went through the death obsession at just 4: I think its supposed to be part of their developmental phase where they explore independence v dependence?? Anyway, I found a lot of her anxiety was more to do with separation - from me, especially - than with death itself. She needed to know she'd always be looked after, even if she went somewhere else (pre-school etc) and that I'd not stop loving her.

Not necessarily true about your dd, of course.

Also, I found honest answers - given calmly and happily - were comforting even if they happened to be 'I don't really know' smile

I think hearing her fears, and talking about it, helped more than anything I told her!

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