So DS (9) wants to give up judo because he's sick of being bashed about. Should I let him?

[LittleBella]

He's only been doing it for about 10 months, he got put into an older group at the end of last term and when we went back yesterday, most of the other children in that group are bigger and stronger than him so he got bashed about a few times.

He does have a tendency to give up too quickly. But OTOH I can see his POV that he doesn't want to go off to be bashed every week. I was thinking of having a word with the bloke who runs the club, but I'm not sure it would be received positively.

What would you do?

[LittleBella]

,

[OrmIrian]

I'm in two minds. If he's just gone up a class it would be good if he could give it a few more months to see if he gets used to it. Speak to the adult in charge. It may be that, regardless of ability, he is simply too small for the new class. DS#1 gave up karate about a yr ago for a similar reason. I did make him persevere for a while - he'd given so much time and effort to it, and we'd spent so much money over the years! But school pressure was increasing and he was getting much more hw so I figured it was the right thing for him. He doesn't regret it.

[BBBee]

try talking, if no good would give up.

[ILikeYourSleeves]

Maybe speak to the adult in charge and get him paired with a boy a similar build? For what it's worth, I did karate as a youngster and I DETESTED it for that reason- I kept getting winded and punched all over, not my idea of fun. I did it for a bit but then focused on swimming instead and gave it up. If he really hates it why don't you see what else he could do? Or compromise with another few weeks / a month?

[LittleBella]

Yes I am going to ahve to do that, problem is that there are only about 2 other kids who are the same sort of size as him. Logistically it could be tricky

[justneedsomesleep]

if he doesn't like it - why should he be forced to do it?
Should he give it up? Yes.
I wouldn't like to get 'bashed' on a weekly basis either.
Find something else, less violent he likes.

[LittleBella]

He likes playstations and TV.

But I don't think they're much cop.

And he did like judo until he was moved up a class. It's not the judo he doesn't like it's being paired up with children who are bigger and stronger than him.

[TheSmallClanger]

10 months is quite a long time in a child's life. I can't see much point in forcing him to persevere if he doesn't enjoy it any more, and has given it his best shot.
You could try a different class if it's available, but it might be better at the moment to encourage him to try a non-contact sport instead. The physical side of martial arts does not get easier as you progress.

[LittleBella]

Yes but before, he always enjoyed it. It's literally only this term (since he's been moved into the bigger class) that he doesn't enjoy it anymore, last year he loved it.

Do you think it will just keep getting harder and harder and more and more unpleasant and he just won't like it any more, or will it even out if he's put with children of his own size and weight? Is there any point in asking for that, or is it just delaying the inevitable giving up?

[justneedsomesleep]

methinks YOU are protesting too much.
sit down and ask your son if he wants to carry on with it. if not, ASK him what he would like to do.

I understand you are not keen for him to give up on things, but as thesmallclanger said, no point in perserverig if HE doesn't enjoy it.

[LittleBella]

Justneedsomesleep, what do you mean? I am not protesting about anything, I am simply examining options and whether this is worth pursuing or not. I have said quite clearly, up until last term, that DS really enjoyed judo. This week, he decided he hated it, after one lesson in his new group, because he had a bad experience in that one lesson (his only bad experience in nearly a year).

Is wanting to investigate whether it is possible to enable him to enjoy this activity again (one that he's spent 10 months enjoying and has had only one lesson of not enjoying), rather than giving up at the first sign of a problem, some kind of parental pushiness or something? He LOVED going to this club last year. It may be that after a couple of teething problems in this group, he may love going again. OTOH it may be that it's not working for him anymore and it's not going to work for him again. I think rather than decide on the basis of one lesson, without trying to actually address the problem, it's sensible to see if there's a solution that doesn't involve him giving up. If there isn't, so be it, but not to try to find a solution at all, isn't something I'm comfortable with tbh.

[Habbibu]

Judo's funny like that - in my senior group I was the only girl, and that was quite hard, but also quite satisfying. If you're good (and I wasn't!) you should be able to use the weight and force of someone bigger against them - it's kind of the point, but easier said than done. Maybe talk to his judo teacher, and talk to him about whether he thinks he'd still enjoy it if it was the same as it was before - maybe he's not interested any more, and it's a handy excuse, or maybe he would like a way of making it more appealing again.