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Do I need to be pally with moms at school in order to ask their children on playdates

(12 Posts)
crazyashell Thu 11-Sep-08 10:48:54

Just wondering about his as I am quite shy and don,t talk that much to parents at the school gates.
However my ds loves having his school friends back after school and I don,t mind doing this at all, however I always feel a little awkward asking parents about it that I don,t talk to that much and worry that it looks odd to them.
I don,t like being shy and really hate it but do you think its okay anyway to ask their children on playdates.

AMumInScotland Thu 11-Sep-08 11:12:10

Absolutely fine to invite them, you don't need to know their parents particularly well to invite the children. From now on, it's much more about who your children want to play with, and they'll make their own choices. You can always make a comment about how well your child seems to get on with theirs.

mumblechum Thu 11-Sep-08 11:14:33

It's absolutely fine to invite the children, irrespective of whether you know or like the mum.

If you feel like it, invite the mum for a cup of tea at pick up time, if not, don't bother.

MarsLady Thu 11-Sep-08 11:17:13


Seeline Thu 11-Sep-08 11:17:26

If it really bothers you having to speak to unknown parents how about your ds giving a written invte t ohis friend? Kids love getting letters! also I often find this sort of thing easier over the telephone - does your school organise class contact lists - I find mine invaluable.

Oblomov Thu 11-Sep-08 11:44:37

Please don't worry. Whats the worst that can happen. They say no ? Don't show any interest ?
SOMEONE will say yes. Either to drop off their child and get a break from them wink
Or to come round, with their child, for a cup of tea themselves.
Both sound good to me wink

nailpolish Thu 11-Sep-08 11:46:18

its the children who ar having the playdate not the parents

jsut go with it

it wont look odd

Overmydeadbody Thu 11-Sep-08 11:49:44

No you don't need to be pally with the mums.

It's ok to just go up to them and ask them if their child can come and play, and other than that just aknowledge them with a smile or hello in the playground.

That's all I do as I'm terribly shy and don't necessarily want to have to be friends with DS's friend's parents.

I have, though, over the past year, got to know some parents quite well as a result of arranging playdates, and subsequsntly formed my own friendships with some of the parents, so it does pay off!grin

squeaver Thu 11-Sep-08 11:51:28

No perfectly normal. And they'll be relieved that you're taking their dc of their hands for a couple of hours

madness Thu 11-Sep-08 12:01:12

well, I have noticed that friends where parents are friends as well are more likely to play together, even AGAINST their son's wishes

Oblomov Thu 11-Sep-08 12:07:48

Madness, that is one of the peculiarities of life, isn't it.
You have a good friend/ sil with children the same age. So children are forced to play together. But do they actually really like eachother ?
Then ds/dd makes a frined. Loves them. The parent is either snooty/ not enough time/ not friendly and your child wants to play with their child all the time, but it just doesn't 'happen'.

What can you do ? Not alot. I don't think.

lljkk Thu 11-Sep-08 19:13:36

But how many people actually do it, go up to complete strangers (or good as) and ask them if their child can come play?

I only ask because I have done it a lot -- the inviting, I mean. And it has NEVER happened to me -- my DC never asked except as a reciprocal for a playdate we already hosted (and actually, most of them haven't been reciprocated).

I know I smell, but the DC don't, you'd think they'd get asked, and anyway you don't know I smell until after you get close and are already talking... grin Plus, we mostly get YESes in reply to invites, so I mustn't smell too bad...

Seriously, it's dead annoying. I never know if everyone is shy or cliquey or (some cases) working too many hours.

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