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4 year old upset going into school, any advice?

(9 Posts)
Lomond Thu 11-Sep-08 09:35:34

My dd1 is 4 (will be 5 in Dec) and started school in August.

She was fine going in the first few mornings and is ok if her dad takes her but if I take her she gets very upset and clings onto me or her sisters pram. She doesn't want to leave me and her teacher has to take her in screaming.

I know she has to go to school but this is heartbreaking sad I sit and worry all morning but when I collect her she is fine and looks like she is having fun. I have spoken to her teacher and she says she is fine and calms down once she is in. Is she too attached to me? I am a stay at home mum and she is with me most of the time. It just seems odd that she doesn't do it for her dad.

I have tried reassuring her that I will be waiting for her when it is time to come home,that it is only until lunch time I don't know what else to do.

Has anybody else experienced this? All the other children go in ok.

Should add that she goes to bed early so I don't think it is because she is tired.

NorbertDentressangle Thu 11-Sep-08 09:38:48

A tip I've read on here a few times is to give them something small of yours to take in with them in their pocket or a tissue with a bit of your perfume on -that way they can "feel close" to you through the day.

It will get better though, honestly.

Lomond Thu 11-Sep-08 09:41:30

Thanks that's a good idea, I will try that. I'm sitting here with a huge lump in my throat worrying about her but I have already called the school and she has settled down.

milkysallgone Thu 11-Sep-08 09:43:21

I am having the same thing at the moment with my dd who is nearly 4; she's at nursery though. She's been there since she was 2 and was really well settled. Since starting in the pre-school room it is a nightmare leaving her there.

She clings on round my neck and cries - it's awful. Like your dd though, as soon as she's in she's fine and has a great time as far as I can see. I too wonder why she is like this when it seems that all of her peers are happy to go in.(Sahm here too). Sorry, no real advice but I sympathise.

Lomond Thu 11-Sep-08 09:45:26

milkysallgone, sorry you are going through this too. It's horrible isn't it? She cried occasionally going into nursery but not like this, more a few tears not a hysterical fit. Hope your wee one settles down soon x

milkysallgone Thu 11-Sep-08 09:47:24

Thanks you too. Our homes are obviously such wonderful places they don't want to leave that's all grin.

Lomond Thu 11-Sep-08 09:48:31


DeeFire Wed 22-Oct-08 13:37:55

We are having the same problem with our dd. She is 4 and everyday for 3 weeks she has cried going into school. She wakes up and says "I dont want to go to school" but once there the teachers have said she is fine. She goes to bed early and always went to pre-school with no problems. No matter who drops her off at school either my parents, my husband or myself her bottom lips drops and she cries - it is so hard. Everyone has said that she will grow out of it but when? it is half term next week and I am already dreading the following week because it will all start again. Any advice - not sure I have enought perfume to help her.

Boyswillbeboys Wed 22-Oct-08 13:41:35

Sorry you are having a hard time. My sister went through this with her DS2, even though she had been at the school nursery before she started Reception, so she knew all the other pupils and the teacher. I'm sure it will get better soon. When my DS1 started school, the teacher said "sometimes they cry when they go into class, and sometimes they cry when they come out and see you at the end of the day, but believe me they don't cry all day!"

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