No 1 17 months, no 2 on the way...life sometimes (no, sorry, always) seems to consist of work/cooking/chores/tiredness/lovely parenting moments (honestly) but not much in the way of an escape route to spend some time on me (or us for that matter). My top plans so far:
1. stick rigidly to pre-arranged me-time (going out swimming/meeting friends) even if i bloody well don't feel like it at the time or they cancel on me, cos otherwise i get seethingly resentful of dh, v unfairly.
2. cunningly have a holiday planned in the next few weeks, thank god.
Honestly, how does everyone cope? How do you organise your time? Am I going to feel like this for the next five years or so? Is it worse with two? (or better <hopefully>)Oh, and don't get me started on being broke. AAAgh
In answer to your questions (sort of), when ds arrived (20 month age gap) I just did not have a clue how to deal with the separate demands of two small kids and couldn't find advice about it anywhere. It's a logistical nightmare for the first few months and then starts to get much easier quite quickly. Bedtime is non-negotiable so that I at least get some time to myself in the evening.
Yeah, bedtimes we are good on at the mo and its a life saver to have that time in the evening. I sometimes fall into feeling resentful that dh seems to carry on having more of a life outside (not being pregnant and tired and all) but then I don't actually want him not to! Makes him much more interesting, after all, and tbh I think he's finding it all as hard as me most of the time.
You are going through a tough time as far as parenting goes. 17 monthers are exhausting and youa re PG too! My DS is nearly 3.5 and probably since he was 2.5 he is much easier to entertain as he has the ability to concentrate for longer. Things will get much better!
I think you're right to do things even if you don't feel like it because you're too tired. If you don't, by the end of the day you're still knackered but you haven't got anything nice to look back on. If I ever once didn't do something because I was too tired I don't think I'd ever gain the momentum to get off the sofa ever again!