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Have turned into a horrible mummy overnight...

(3 Posts)
thehouseofmirth Wed 03-Sep-08 16:18:24

Not sure I'm posting this in the right place and not sure what I expect anyone to say but I'd just like to get it off my chest. Am so ashamed and miserable I can't talk to anyone about it.

I am a SAHM with a 3 yo DS. Before I had DS had no patience at all but since having him I had surprisingly turned pretty saintly in that department. I am 17 weeks pregnant and in the last few weeks I've turned into an evil, screaming witch who flies off the handle at the slightest provocation.

I imagine it's just a bad combination of my hormones changing (I am still bf him so I guess I've been high on happy hormones for the last three years which are probably wearing off now as the pregnancy progresses)and him being a three year old boy who does stuff three year old boys do. I'm also very tired from a new part-time job and constantly preoccupied with worries about money.

Things that I could have seen the funny side of a few weeks ago now make me boil with rage and I am scared I am really damaging my son (and my unborn child) but feel so out of control I can't stop myself.

Is it my hormones? Will it get better?

On a practical level how can I deal with my son when he does things I have expressly asked him not to do (like roll all over the sofa whilst covered in flour)? Or when I tell him off and ask him if he understands and he just blanks me?

I just feel

Kammy Wed 03-Sep-08 16:33:15

Oh poor you. There seems to be an awful lot going on, new job, pregnant and worries about money on top - I'm not surprised things feel difficult.

I don't really know what to say except ask what support you have for yourself? Do you have someone to talk to? Do you get a break from ds when he's at nursery or playgroup? Do you get to do anything nice for yourself?

I have a 6 yo ds and he has had phases of behaving like this too. I have sucessfully used time 'outs' in the kitchen (boring!) and reward star charts for good behaviour, so that we don't get into a negative cycle of telling off. It's also possible he is picking up on your stress.

Hopefully, someone else will be along with some good advice - in the meantime, [hugs]

dinkystinky Wed 03-Sep-08 20:20:29

Hi there HouseofMirth - you're not a terrible mummy; you're human and we all have days like that! As DS is now 3 introduce a timeout zone or naughty step/corner or him (he's old enough to understand the concept) and explain to him that he has to go to the time out zone/naughty area if he does things that he knows he is not allowed to do and has to spend 3 minutes there to think about what he did wrong. Should give you both a chance to calm down and breathe. Also introduce a star chart for all those times he is a good boy and helps mummy out - if he gets a certain number of stars, he gets a treat (maybe a CBeebies magazine?). My DS is coming up to 21/2 and am pregnant with no 2 and I know how hard it is when you're exhausted and hormonal - stop beating yourself up about it as you're just making it even harder for yourself. Make sure DH gives you time to yourself at the weekend so you can relax/unwind abit and recharge your batteries - and it will get better, promise.

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