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what is better - not allowing any sweets at home or allowing them but having a 'first eat your food' rule?

66 replies

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 17:24

which will help them develop better habits?

OP posts:
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nickytwotimes · 02/09/2008 17:25

Hmmmmmm...
No sweets at home might backfire.
What about only at weekends?

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girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 17:27

i was trying the no sweets at home thing and i think it might backfire. however the families i know that have sweets at home and use the 'eat your meal first' rule, have kids who eat sweets after each meal.

my parents let me eat whatever whenever and i am sure that is not a good way to teach good habits.

the weekends thing would be a problem in my house since we all eat what we see. but a good idea. perhaps i can try hiding them? or do you mean saying to the dcs - you can eat them on the weekend?

OP posts:
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muckypups · 02/09/2008 17:29

Ive recently moved to a one treat a day, usually middle of day, this can be an icecream, biscuit or a sweet or even a fruit shoot drink but it is there one and only treat. Thier main meal is at tea time and if they dont eat as much as i would prefer then they will miss out on a treat the next day.

Apparently your not meant to use sweet treats as an encouragemnet for them to eat thier main meals and veg etc but if it works why not?

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meemar · 02/09/2008 17:30

I think banning them from the house makes them seem 'bad', therefore intruiging...

we have the rule that sweets are only a 'treat' food. They sometimes get them as a reward. Sometimes if we have sweets around they are allowed a couple after a meal as their pudding.

I don't ever buy sweets as part of normal food shopping and they don't ever have sweets as snacks if they are hungry.

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pointydog · 02/09/2008 17:32

Neither.

Sweets are nice. We eat them from time to time, no strings attached, as long as we're not eating too many of them.

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FluffyMummy123 · 02/09/2008 17:32

Message withdrawn

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FAQ · 02/09/2008 17:33

same as pointy - no strings attached, eat them from time to time. Often have them in (usually order the multipacks as they were out cheaper than buying at the local shop as and when) but they know that it's one or two sweets out the pack of Starburst etc - and not the whole pack.

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MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 02/09/2008 17:33

we don't have sweets around so they are just deprived.. When we go out for a day we give them money to buy sweets of their choice and tey spend ages choosing, so it is an 'out' thing rather than a home thing.
The fun seems to be choosing ebcuase they eat a few, get distracted and tehn forget about them. I discreetly get rid of them and tey don't seem to remember there were any left.
Was rather when we took some xhildren to the cinema ( where we let them choose and share A bag of sweets) and one boy said his mother had given him money to buy his own ( enormous!) bag. I wouldn't let him spend it, bought myself what they agreed to share - still rather irritated by it..

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FluffyMummy123 · 02/09/2008 17:34

Message withdrawn

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hecate · 02/09/2008 17:35

Do not make them something associated with being 'good' or 'bad'. Don't keep stocks in the house, but buy them when you want to. Sweets in moderation - great idea. Sweets every day - bad idea. Sweets as 'reward' - very bad idea.

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OneBoyOneGirl · 02/09/2008 17:36

my mum didn't let me have sweets, so i used to buy them all the time when i was out, dinner money, pocket money the lot!

I let DC's have them. Not after every meal or anything, probably every other day or something.

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RubySlippers · 02/09/2008 17:38

good habits come from NO food being forbidden or a treat

i don't do the whole, eat your main to have a dessert as it makes it seem as though it is a chore to be got through for the sake of the good stuff

DS eats very well balanced diet with everything in moderation

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FAQ · 02/09/2008 17:38

hecate - sweets when you want to can work out expensive - especially with 3 of them to sort out - much cheaper (and easier) to just have them at home - my DS's know there are sweets in the house all the time - infact I'm a bit lax these days and often forget to put them away in the cupboard out of view - but they don't go clammering for them all the time.

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RubySlippers · 02/09/2008 17:38

i wasn't allowed chocolate until i was 2 and i have been making up for it ever since

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meemar · 02/09/2008 17:42

I'm interested in the idea that sweets shouldn't be a treat or reward - why is that?

And if you give them, not as food ( i.e to satisfy hunger), but also not as a treat, in what context do you give them?

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mollymawk · 02/09/2008 17:42

I have a vague feeling that it is worse for their teeth to eat sweets between meals than after (not sure why, may be utter nonsense).

I don't make them finish their "main" course if they don't want it all, whether there is something else afterwards or not. Sometimes if they really have eaten hardly anything I say they can't therefore be hungry enough for pudding/sweets (but they never care much).

Too many sweets are not good, obviously. No sweets at all just generates cravings though doesn't it?

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 02/09/2008 17:42

we dont keep sweets in the house but if dd1 has been good and we happen to be going to a shop i ahve no problem with buying her them.

we only get sweets in the house if she has friends coming.

but like faq points out it is cheaper to bulk buy. i only have two and dd2 is happy with a 15p fudge bar, but when they are both asking for kinder eggs it will probably change.

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RubySlippers · 02/09/2008 17:43

because it sets up unhealthy food associations @ Meemar

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meemar · 02/09/2008 17:45

how do you mean RS? (sorry, if a silly question)

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warthog · 02/09/2008 17:45

make no big deal of it. sometimes have them at home. just have them in moderation.

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Wickedwedgiewoman · 02/09/2008 17:46

normally have some sweets in the house. when dss come home from school they have to have 2 healthy snacks, and then they can have a sweet after dinner, IF they eat all their dinner.

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 02/09/2008 17:47

oh yes i ahve heard that RS, isnt it to do with them rewarding themselves/cheering themselves up with food later in life and therefore risking obesity?

does it still count if you also reward with staying up late/dr who stickers for albumn/comics and pound shop toys?

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hecate · 02/09/2008 17:48

Well, meemar, for me it is because I have this whole food thing going on, where I treat myself when down, comfort myself when depressed, reward myself - food is everything except satisfying hunger for me and it's ruined my life. I do not want to pass that message to my kids and have them reaching into the fridge whenever they feel low.

I don't think you should try to make someone feel emotionally better by giving food, or make them connect you feeling pleased with them with the giving and eating of food (giving them a treat when they are upset would have the same effect, make them associate eating with feeling better.). It makes a connection in their mind that can lead to problems. Not always, but as someone it has done exactly that to, I am very aware of it.

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RubySlippers · 02/09/2008 17:49

seashells has summed it up really

also, i think a healthy attitude to food comes from knowing that no food is intrinsically "bad" or "forbidden"

I wasn't allowed to watch Dynasty either as a child and i have a craving for soapy, over blown american dramas as a result

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meemar · 02/09/2008 17:58

I see, yes I can understand how that could happen if you aren't careful. We do tend to use sweets as one of the rewards amongst many (stickers, tv, going to park etc).

I agree about not letting children see foods as 'bad'. DS1 and 2 know that sweets are not good for you if you eat too many, so we call them 'treats'. I can't think of another way of explaining it!

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